Switching Genders - How it Affects a Relationship

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   Emile Rposted 13 years ago

   This question has stumped my husband and I ever since  we saw something about the interview. They might have discussed this on Oprah, but I didn't see anything on it.
   
   Chaz Bono had a sex change operation a while back and he and his significant other agreed to an interview with Oprah a month or two ago, discussing the effects the whole thing had on their relationship.
   
   But, if two women are together in a lesbian relationship and one has a sex change to become a man; are they then a heterosexual couple? I'm confused because if you are attracted to women and the woman you're with becomes a man I would think that would kill the relationship.  Or do some types of love simply transcend sexual orientation?

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      lostwithinmyselfposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      My husband gets confused at this too. To be honest is baffles me lol. I guess it does depend on the people in the relationship. Good question though. x

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   thighhighchickposted 13 years ago

   I was wondering the same thing. I want to be with a man sometimes but also like women too. But I want my woman to be a woman.

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   fucsiaposted 13 years ago

   There is not an answer I think.... Every situation has its answer. If in a couple of lesbian the attraction is for their minds and thoughts rather then purely phisical and one of two wants, for an her important pulsion, become a man, the couple can survive. However surely this is an important and delicate change and only a strong relationship, with a deep dialogue, can overcome it.

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   Jonathan Jancoposted 13 years ago

   If someone has a sex change, they do not biologically become the other gender. The surgery comes at the end after they get jacked up with hormones and such other treatments to make their bodies imitate the opposite gender. A man who has a sex change will not get pregnant or menstruate or ovulate for instance. Which is why I feel such procedures should be reserved for people who have genuine androgynous or hermaphoarditic qualities.
   
   As for myself, I would want my partner to accept me for who I am as I would only fall in love with a woman who loves herself the way she is. I am very very stubborn about that. I will only like a woman (as in romantic interest) the way she likes herself.

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   kerrygposted 13 years ago

   I think it really depends on the individual relationship. I've heard absolute horror stories about some people who have undergone sex changes with little warning or explanation to their family and left years of bad feelings in their wake.
   
   On the other hand, if somebody has been open about their gender identity from the start, it's completely possible that their significant other fell in love with them as a transgender individual. I.e., in the case of Chaz Bono, his S.O. may have fallen in love with him as a man, even though at that time he was biologically female.
   
   I don't know enough about this particular case to pass judgment, but several of the more "alternative" sexualities (most notably pansexuality) are specifically inclusive of non-traditional gender identities, so it's certainly possible that his S.O. may be equally happy with their sexual relationship pre- and post-op.

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   livelongerposted 13 years ago

   There is a difference between sex and gender. Sex is changeable through an operation and hormonal treatment; gender rarely changes.
   
   I think you're talking about changing sex, not changing gender.
   
   In Chaz Bono's case, my suspicion is his SO always considered him male because that was, and is, his gender.

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   Bill Manningposted 13 years ago

   Livelonger nailed it, however most people don't understand it. Most people fall in love with a personality, not the sex.
   
   If you loved someone, then they had an accident and could no longer have sex, would you not love them anymore? Most would say they would still love them.
   
   The same is true for those in love with someone who has a sex change. They love the person, not the body. So it would not matter.
   
   However again most can't wrap their mind around it. And, lots of people would leave someone if they changed, or even could no longer have sex.

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   Emile Rposted 13 years ago

   I didn't think about the fact that Chaz had been living as a guy for years, waiting to have the operation. So, then I can see why his significant other probably wasn't shocked by the change.
   
   But, I can honestly say that I don't agree with falling in love with personalities only.
   
   Love my husband to death, but if he told me he was caught in a woman's body I would be supportive every step of the way, but as a friend. We would not remain married.

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