So my hub family, I need some feedback on how do you live by this when dealing with someone who does not live by this motto? How do you treat someone kind and loving when in return they don't treat you the same.
Maybe you should treat them the way you would like to be treated if you were acting like them. If they are out of line, there's no reason to interact with them as if they weren't. Wouldn't you want to be told if you'd crossed a line? Wouldn't you want the chance to talk about it? Wouldn't you expect people to step away from you if you consistently went too far?
The concept of doing unto others as you would have them do to you has to do with respect. You don't respect another person by letting them walk on you.
A couple of weeks ago my grandchildren spent the night with us. They kept us up half the night, fussing, fighting and coming to our bedroom every few minutes about everything under the sun.
The next morning I got them up at 5AM instead of letting them sleep till 8 or 9. When they complained I explained that I just figured that's what they wanted done to them as that's what they had done to us.
The next night was quiet. Even at 7 and 8 years old they understood the point.
I always treat people the way I want to be treated at first. If they dont respond to that and are acting like a-holes instead, I assume that is the way they like to be treated. I am always happy to oblige.
I wrote a hub about how we need to teach others how to treat us. I too treat others with kindness, but I also make it clear that it is not ok to treat me poorly. Allowing someone to treat you badly is like teaching them it is ok to do so. Some people can be re-taught even after a lifetime of nastiness, while others just don't get to be in your life anymore.
Not on your life! I'm not going to abuse a psychopath or a sadist simply because I should treat others the way they treat me.
Learning that other people's opinions are just that, and not to take them to heart as having any objective truth, is something I am only now, as I approach 40 beginning to realise. When people criticise us or call us names, or just generally treat us with disrespect it does hurt, because we think that they somehow have a better understanding of things than we do ourselves. But there are no absolutes in opinion. Learning to respect ourselves highly enough to enable us to withstand any criticism, is perhaps one of the greatest psychological challenges any of us have to face. The only opinions about ourselves which should matter, are our own. And, as long as we can truly say that we try our best, with whatever life throws at us, and that we do no harm to others, and that we respect other people's right to hold opinions, even if we strongly disagree with them, then only we have the right to judge ourselves. And even then, we should give ourselves the benefit of the doubt, because self-hatred is worse than any hatred thrown at us by other people. We are all imperfect, and should forgive ourselves, as we forgive the imperfections in others. This is a new revelation for me to discover that other people see the world as imperfectly as I do, and I am only now learning that any insult or lack of respect I may receive only has the power to hurt me, if I allow it to, and if I think that person has more right to their opinion than I do to mine. It is very liberating to realise that they don't.
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