Who is your buddy

1. 59

   Jeramiposted 12 years ago

   This is a subject of which I am now in a discussion, with one of my friends.
   Why does a person choose to allow another person to become their friend?                                             
     How does it happen.      Why does it happen?  How many answers are there? 
   
     When we really “get down to brass tacks” so-to-speak, is it about     mutual/self gratification of one kind or another?
     I’m talking about allowing someone to become one of those close personal friends. One of those kind that we would greatly inconvience ourselves for when they ask for a favor.                                  
      Why are some people rejected and others drawn so closely?
   
      Generally speaking; why would/should I bestow upon you special favor which is not given to someone else?
      Why would/should you choose me for such an honor? Or, I you?                Why do I do the things that I do,    With those that I choose to.
    
     Nothing important; was just wondering how you pick your friends.
   And why we keep them through the rough times.

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2. 60

   SomewayOuttaHereposted 12 years ago

   i think the answer varies...timing..what's happening in one's life or where one is at..some friends touch in for a time and shine - because that is what is needed...other friends touch in for a long time and go through some or all of the ride of life with you...not sure if I've answered the why - it can be complicated  - i guess you'd have to look at individual relationships and ask why/how each started

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   1. 60

      SomewayOuttaHereposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      ..the long term friends are there for the long haul, the rough times, the good times...there's lots of trust; understanding; really, really connected with you; and they know who you are and where you've been and wanna keep on movin' along with you

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      1. 59

         Jeramiposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Yes  that is true!
           And after a little bit of time ...  we find out that some friendships isn't a two way street.
          
            My grand Pa once told me that if when we get old, and need our second hand to count our REAL friends on; that we have had through life, ...  count ourselves blessed.
         
            But that is another issue.
         
            I think that when we choose someone wishing them to be one of those real friends, we might be looking to fill some kind of need.
         
            But really,   do we really ever find something worth keeping when we are looking for it?
         
            Or do we just one day discover that we got it?
         
            I started this thread, not to tell it like it is,  rather, to see what you thought.
         
            Thanks for the answers so far.

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         1. 60

            SomewayOuttaHereposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            i agree with grandpa.......
            
            i think we come to the realization of who friends are, especially when you come to a turn/bump in the road...some don't move along with you, but you might run into them again at the next intersection 
            
            good mornin'...speaking of roads....this morning is turning out to be a nice one...so i'm off for a ride down one...have a great day!

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3. 92

   habeeposted 12 years ago

   I read a rather cynical article written by a psychologist that said we choose friends based ONLY on the way they make us feel about ourselves. I have lots of friends, and I believe they're friends for a wide range of reasons.

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4. 78

   skyfireposted 12 years ago

   I stopped finding 'best friend' and 'good friends' years ago. These days i prefer to hang around people who make me feel happy and motivated. I'm done with people with hostile vibes or 'use and throw' mentality. It's better to keep some distance with any type of people these days( be it online or offline)as it helps keep mind cool for long time.

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   1. 92

      habeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Sky, I somewhat agree with you. I really don't like being around negative people who are argumentative, gloomy, or angry all the time. Life is too short!

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5. 59

   Jeramiposted 12 years ago

   Ha..y   sky habee and somewhere.
   
     I Cain't argue with nunAya,  I've always thought that friends are for using each other.  NOT ab-using.
   
     Many times it doesn't take any effort (to speak of) to really help a friend out of a really tough spot.
      And if you have ten friends that ya help, and it only one of them helps ya back when you need it,    It was ALL worth it.
   
     I would never ask a friend for a favor that I wouldn't do for them.
   
     It has been my habit to collect friends that are more needy than myself.
   They are ALWAYS needing favors!
     Maybe this is how I recieve some of my self gratification?
     I've tried to kick that habit,  but it just seems imposible sometimes.
   
     OH Well  I guess I stuck with it the way that it is.
   
     I'm exagerating (a lot, I hope Ya know?)!

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6. 78

   skyfireposted 12 years ago

   I don't know if i'm right or wrong with this type of thinking. But i guess staying in one type of spiral - be it negative, fear or something uncomfortable affects directly on mental health and physical at the end. So i guess it's just for me -"All people are my friends, it's just i'm selective how close to keep them'. Again my experience reflects in my post here but not all have bad experience and hostile or uncomfortable friends around.

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