What's wrong with him and why is he doing this?

1. 61

   EmmyGoatposted 12 years ago

   My best friend, who's the person I'm in love with, is being a jerk to me. He refuses to talk to me anymore, and has told me I'm nothing to him. I know this isn't true. And he tells me he wants nothing to do with me, but every time we're around, he can't help but joke around with me and make everything seem like it's back to normal. I'm not sure why he's doing this though...
   
   Additional details: I don't know if this has anything to do with it, but he's dying. He's got Congestive Heart Failure, and doesn't have much longer to live...according to the doctor.

   replyreport
2. 68

   Cagsilposted 12 years ago

   Well, I would give him a choice (a) quit playing the head games or (b) just leave.

   replyreport
   1. 61

      EmmyGoatposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      But my problem is that I don't know how much longer he has...and I don't want to leave him this way. And I love him. So I don't want to say something I'll regret, and then have him be gone before I can fix it. As a 17 year old with bad anxiety problems (whenever friends leave me), I don't need that to be my last memory of us...it would tear me apart.

      replyreport
      1. 79

         AnnaCiaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         I agree with Cagsil.  Emmy, you are not responsible for his illnesses.  Make sure you are there when you can to say hi and maybe have some time to talk but I do not think it is healthy for you to be around him all the time he is in need and then push you away.  He should know that you are there, but also, that he needs to be responsible for taking care of himself.

         replyreport
3. 58

   Disturbiaposted 12 years ago

   There are many treatments for congestive heart failure including medications, pace makers, surgery, and organ transplantation. My best friend's mother, a life long smoker is 78 and has been living with congestive heart failure for a good many years now.  She takes her daily medications and appears to be doing very well. 
   
   You don't say how old your friend is, but you do indicate you are only 17. If your friend is also only 17, it can be devastating for a young person to hear they have a debilitating condition, and to answer your question about what's wrong with your friend, well you answered that yourself.  How does anyone react when a doctor tells them they are going to die?  Your friend is withdrawing. He is probably afraid and confused. I'm thinking it's just a little bit selfish of you to place another burden on him by making him responsible for YOUR last memories.  Why not focus on him, his possible treatment options, etc. instead of yourself.

   replyreport
4. 83

   sadie423posted 12 years ago

   Not knowing many details, I would say that the fact that he is sick would probably play a big part, he is probably upset with life in general right now and taking it out on anyone he can. He could also be trying to protect you for the pain of losing him by distancing himself.
   
   I would try and really get him to open up, let him know you are there for him no matter what. Give him space but don't abandon him.

   replyreport
5. 60

   knolyourselfposted 12 years ago

   "he's dying." Has everything to do with it.

   replyreport