Last week I listened to a pastor on one of the well known TV broadcast. He spoke on the behaviour of Christians. He outlined in a very meaningful way how as Christians we are to be setting examples and being lights to the world,
One of the things that he mentioned was, "a married man should not compliment another woman on the way she looks, whether by telling her that her hair is beautiful or her dress looks nice. ( I think he believes that this is improper) He further stated that the woman's husband should be the one complimenting her. He believes that a woman can compliment another woman, or a man another man.
This sounded strange to me. I am not sure if by telling someone they look nice can be equated with lustful desire. It really seems to me to be way off base.
Yes it seems way off base, maybe that was his wifes philosophy.
No, merely complimenting a person doesn't necessary mean you are lusting after them. But it could potentially lead to a lustful situation, which is why I'm assuming the Pastor is suggesting not to. The reason why a man should avoid complimenting a woman other than is wife is that 1) the woman might perceive it as a flirtation and respond accordingly, and that might lead to other things. Generally in my experience, men don't compliment women unless they find them attractive (with the exception of family members). reason 2) it may foster jealously between husband and wife if the wife overhears or witnesses the event. So in other words, it's just a good rule of thumb to follow to avoid the possibility of a situation that could lead to infidelity. That's just my take on it...
By that reasoning a man should never leave the house. If he should do such a thing he might see a woman or even inadvertently make eye contact and that could lead to a lustful situation wherein neither one can control themselves. Why, they might even fall right down on the sidewalk and give in to those lustful urges, causing great jealously in their mates.
Seriously, if either man or mate cannot control their emotions any better than that they really had better just stay home; the world can hold only heartbreak for those sad souls.
I was just saying I understood his point, not that you have to obey it like a Nazis or something...its just something to be conscious of when you are out and about in the world.
Maybe his wife is fat and ugly and got tired of him looking at other women.
However just because you are enjoying your meal it doesn't mean you can't look at the menu.
I think it is over the top. I understand why some might think it is for the best. But, it is what I would label a public school philosophy. Everyone is guilty until proven innocent. We should compliment each other when we can and we shouldn't read lust into a compliment on a new hair style. If spouses don't trust their significant other enough to not be offended when you notice someone and offer a compliment...that's a problem that should be addressed, not pandered to.
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