Taking Responsibility For One's Own Life

1. 84

   gmwilliamsposted 12 years ago

   There are many people in the victimology mode.  They are unhappy with their life circumstances.   However, they refuse to assess their particular situation.  They blame others and outside situations for their condition.  In other words, they believe that the cards were stacked against them either socioculturally, psychologically, and/or socioeconomically.   
   
   They further contend that others are holding them back and they were not meant to succeed and/or live their fullest life.  But they act and live in ways which preclude their success.   What they are told this, they either become quite unhinged, nonplussed, and/or deny that they do this.   They refuse to acknowledge that irresponsible and thoughtless actions lead to their quite less than positive life.  Oh no, they live this life and they are quite discontent; however, they want others to liftt them up out of their particular situation.    It seems that there are people who want others to rescue them instead of taking responsibility and improving their own lives.    Many people are in the situation they are in because THEY elect to be in THAT situation.   Let's discuss this!

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   1. 61

      kessposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Can a man do anything to cause him not to fulfill his  destiny?
      
      
      The problem arises as men tries to manipulate  destiny.
      
      He find rest and peace as he allow destiny to be fulfilled in himself.

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      1. 88

         wildernessposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         No, but in general a man determines his own destiny so the question becomes moot.
         
         Any many that simply accepts his "destiny", as defined by someone else, will be quite unhappy with his life.

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2. 0

   Emile Rposted 12 years ago

   Couldn't agree more. But I've noticed it goes even deeper. Everyone appears to want to be the victim, at some level. And at every level, you are a heinous piece of work if you point it out. No one wants to take responsibility for perceiving life as less than perfect.

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3. 84

   pennyofheavenposted 12 years ago

   It's a learned thing that needs to be unlearned. Since many are unaware of how they learned not to take responsibility they are clueless in how to fix it.  Unaware being the key word in this instance. If they are unaware they will continue to do and be as they are not realizing there is another way.

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4. 59

   Jeramiposted 12 years ago

   I’ve been stuck in  YES  & NO  mode on more and more issues such as this as I am getting older.
       I agree with you but I don’t
      Yes it is true that many people are unhappy about their life situations. They may even acknowledge that their BAD life choices did create their circumstances. It is like in a moment of stupidity WE deal the cards to ourselves that we have to play. And some of us have more of these moments than others. It sometimes takes decades to recover from the circumstances that we have put ourselves in and sometimes we never do.  However, society should acknowledge that we sometimes make it more difficult than we should for some of these people to recover from those bad choices. 
         But on the other hand ???        why should society expect that “Those” people aren’t going to jump back in that hole that we just helped them out of, which is often the case … SOoo  why should we bother?
        It is times like this that we should remember that at least once in our lives someone helped us when we were down 
           BUT  on the other hand!   Gotta be careful that we not get taken down while pulling someone up.
   Life is a YEA    BUT situation.

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      Emile Rposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I agree with you. As much as I can, since I didn't really follow some of your post.
      
      I think one thing we don't take into account is the fact that the victim mode isn't really a victim position from some angles. We are only victims if we compare our perception to those of others and allow their perception to take precedent; at some points. I know that sounds confusing, but I have lived out of the box, yet in it, for my entire life. My siblings want to perceive my life as less valid than their own. They politic for others to agree with their assessment. They appear to want me to be jealous of their choices. I can't get it through their heads that, although I am not as financially successful as they present themselves to be; I consider my life to be richer than it could have been if I had gone down the paths they took. I think I am happier. I have no needs to include anyone, unwillingly, in my reality. My perception of happiness is not tied to the perception of misery in others. Long ago I accepted that the old adage 'To thine own self be true' is the only way any of us could obtain happiness.
      
      The need to mold a perception of reality to line up with the perception of others is, unfortunately, the way of our world. Our society pits us against one another. Pushing values and beliefs to be more socially desirable. And a part of us buys into those beliefs enough to perceive them as reality. Subsequently creating misery for ourselves and those around us. Because we, on the surface, buy into the belief in an ideal does not mean that our internal beliefs line up with the belief being presented. And we slowly become victims to the need for consensus. We can't strive for success in search of a belief that wasn't ours to begin with and we believe we are victims of circumstance; not being willing to look at the underlying causes of our dissatisfaction. And those whose beliefs lined up with the collective ideal shouldn't honestly begrudge another for not striving to attain success within a belief structure that wasn't theirs. But we do, because we also acquiesced to the presented beliefs.
      
      As confusing as I'm sure that was; the point is that none of us are victims of anything other than our own acceptance of the collective perception at times, and our chosen perception at others. Everything under the sun can be viewed from different angles. We chose to perceive circumstance as failure.

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      1. 84

         pennyofheavenposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         +1

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5. 60

   LisaMarie724posted 12 years ago

   I agree with you except in the case of metal illness.

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6. 59

   Jeramiposted 12 years ago

   Emile R   I do understand and agree what you are saying and more; but couldn't have said it as clear as you just did.  I've known a couple of homeless people having part time jobs who wouldn't change a thing about their lives if they could.  They may have later regreted this choice. It is then and only then that they "May" feel victomized by societies perception and limitations put on them.
   
   There are many choices in life that we can't turn get away from . This fact should be made very clear to every child before they make these life changing choices. 
   I think that when we are young our emotions (and hormones) cause us to make many choices that are life changing though they didn't seem that important at that time.   Or something like that.

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      Emile Rposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      That brings up another question. Why regret? We make choices. Later, is it altered perception which make them seem wrong? We perceived them as right at the time. Have we bought into the perception of another? Even if the altered perception is indication of our individual change in outlook, why do we perceive past choices as mistakes if not that we have allowed the perception and ideals of others to take precedent in our lives?
      
      I was listening to a guy talk the other day. He was explaining how we modify our memories to suit our view on life, where we are in life. I think we create the perception of past mistakes to resolve current conflict, but we also need to create the perception of mistakes of others to shore up current internal conflict. Then we politic to convince others to share our perception. Because we are in conflict. And we know it, but we continue on. It's a freaking screwed up world.

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      1. 59

         Jeramiposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         We can't or shouldn't regret many of our "bad ??"  choices because they too are what made us the person we are today.  If we could go back in time and change the least of these choices, this act could also change the out come for all the things that we hold dear.
         What I was talking about as far as regrets was ..like, ... when people get old, homeless, become ill, and  ..? well should have prepared better to survive in the environment  we have created for ourselves. We tend to forget all the good times we had in the past when we become old, tired, cold and hungry.   
              I'm not talking about myself ...   though maybe I am a little??  cause we all fall into this category a little when we come to the end of our travels. We feel that we should have concentrated more in finances  OR  passion, OR family, OR ...  there is always another OR ..   BUT as Frank Sinatra sang "we did it our way" and that is all we can say.
         
         or something like that

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7. 77

   psycheskinnerposted 12 years ago

   I am a single person, live alone, have never taken a benefit, and always been employed.
   
   But the fact is that some people have not had the chance to become autonomous, and they genuinely can't control their situation.  Maybe their local school sucked, maybe they got addicted to drugs, maybe they are clinically depressed...
   
   Our lives are all under our control and under the control of our environment.  And sometimes the environment wins.

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