All is well in Love and War?
This proverb often encourages people to use all means to avail, achieve and gain their intentions, goals or to find success in love or success in war. The question is that why we are indulged in such practice?
To gain your goals is not objectionable. Everybody has a universal right to do right, be positive for choosing the right thing and pool up recourses to achieve it. But the question arises when while achieving it some obstacles or hurdles stay stand in front of us and we use some ways which are against moral ethics or prohibited in the eye of society and law.
I believe the correct proverb is "All's fair in love and war"
I don't believe it to be what you describe it as. I think it is a perception people seem to have. If you hurt me in love, I will hurt you in love because all's fair in love and war, no matter what I did to reciprocate your betrayal, it must have been fair cuz you hurt me first.
I don't necessarily believe in it. However, in both love and war, when tensions are running high, this proverb does tend to ring true.
It brings to mind another proverb 'the ENDS justify the MEANS' and I fell that 'all is fair in love & war' is a little too glib. To start with War, or rather the act of making war has absolutely nothing to do with fairness. To establish rules or guidelines for war, the Geneva Convention for example, is certainly noble in theory but in practice rules simply give an advantage to the side that chooses to forgo their use, over the side that follows them. War is only a struggle for supremacy, it is not a game, and the only real use that rules serve in war is to give that war a civilized appearance to hide what is in-fact a bloody mess of weapons, violence, terror, and collateral damage. There is nothing fair about war, take for example the animosity felt towards our Soldiers for the deaths of Iraqi Women & Children. It is a travesty to be sure, but this animosity seldom extents all the way to the insurgents who hide themselves among the Women & Children for the specific purpose of creating anti-war sentiment in the U.S when our media shows pictures of these innocents caught in the cross-fire. It has nothing to do with fair or unfair, it is simply a matter of strategy & tactics. The only way to civilize war, to make it “fair”, would be to abolish it entirely.
The matter of fairness in LOVE however is much more complicated. I have often marveled at the fact that a loved one, so cherished, can so fast become a hated enemy. This is because a lover is far more capable of hurting you deeply than others. To love, really love, someone is the strongest anyone can ever feel for another. People often go to great lengths to gain it and then again to keep it. I would never steal a friends money, or car, but I have stolen a friends Girlfriend which probably hurt worse than any of the former ever could. When it comes to love I feel that fairness applies the same as in any other human relations, but for love we will often break these rules. Love can make us do stupid things, especially regarding ‘break-ups’ when this love is threatened. Petty jealousy, paranoia, rage, & violence can all be the final result of love. Love is unfair just as war is unfair and both can bless or ruin lives, I am not sure where the proverb came from but it is a clever & rather general way to describe two very complicated matters.
ALL IS WELL IN "God's definition of Love".You can read my hub on "Spiritual Warfare" concerning our existence of
Not to be nitpicky, but, unless you've deliberately altered the wording to inspire a specifically different range and trajectory of responses to what I think is the quotation to which you refer, said quote is actually "All is fair in love and war".
Do I think that, in life generally, the ends sometimes justify any means necessary? Absolutely and with no doubt, shame, apprehension or apologies. The key word to my feeling so strongly is "necessary" - and that is one hell of a cost/benefit/righteousness analysis!
Love isn't a special exception. And war - the ridiculously selfish, violent, testosterone dripping exercise in might makes right lacks absolutely any causal link to solving whatever conflict started it! Formal "war" between rival gangs, towns, states, countries and (I almost pee my pants at the lunacy and hypocrisy of thd following): ***RELIGIONS***?!?!
The only things that even come *close* to deserving the pass that the ends justify the means are life-and-death self-preservation; compassion for, defense of, and service to the "needy" and unjustly persecuted; and - and this last one is where my militant defense of "any means necessary" begins and ends: justice.
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