This seems like a strange this to discuss, but it actually happens and

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  1. schoolgirlforreal profile image80
    schoolgirlforrealposted 7 years ago

    I have a question.

    Well there are strict, traditional Catholics that go by the OLD rules. Okay. I'm not saying I agree with these rules at all, I mean I think I'd feel quite the contrary! But this rule appears to exist and I would like some light shed upon it --by Catholics or people who understand it....can discuss it appropriately, though of course all are welcome to discuss. I just want it to be taken seriously tongue

    Okay: so here we go:

    A Bishop said, IN MARRIAGE, WHEN MAN AND WOMEN HAVE SEX, IT SHOULD BE FOR PROCREATION BUT (OF COURSE IT ENDS UP BEING FUN TOO, I WOULD HOPE!) ....HE GOES ON TO SAY, THAT IT SHOULD BE MAINLY FOR CHILDREN. OKAY. NOW THE TRICKY PART:

    HE SAYS: THE WOMAN OF COUSE WANTS ROMANCE --AND AFTER SO MANY YEARS OR PERIOD OF TIME, THE HONEYMOON PERIOD IS OVER, SO HE SAYS: THE MAN CAN TAKE OUT HIS WIFE TO DINNER /MOVIE IF "THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE HER HAPPY"....

    I WONDER....If the woman must undergo all this and the man can "happily enjoy the sex, at least physically -(because most women absolutely need more than physical..." Wouldn't it feel like "rape" to her if she "had" to say yes all the time and didn't always enjoy it?  I suppose I should be asking the bishop this though I don't have his # lol.

    I just wonder.

    What women would subject herself to this willingly? hmm (I know many of you non-religious folk will say "Crazy religious freaks!!" But I can't ask the bishop and I think it f***ed up if you ask me. Way too archaic ...come on! please!

    1. Stevennix2001 profile image88
      Stevennix2001posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      okay, i just read that entire post like 3 times there, and i didn't read or see anything that suggest neither party wasn't allowed to enjoy sex.  In fact, the closest thing that suggests to that is the statement of how sex should only be for procreation.  Outside of that, I don't see anywhere in that statement that says a woman isn't allowed to enjoy the sex, as it takes place.  You can call me naive, but that's what I got out of it. 

      Of course, this doesn't apply to me, as I haven't had sex in years anyway, and it doesn't look like that's changing soon.  lollollol  However, I do agree with you that sex isn't just about procreation.  It's supposed to a physical display of affection for two people's love for each other.  Or just two people looking for a good shag. wink lol lol

      1. schoolgirlforreal profile image80
        schoolgirlforrealposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        correct. not to argue- believe me I'm not in the mood lol
        I thought he implied , I mean maybe I didn't make this clear, the woman has to give in to her husbands need, so yes all the time. what if she's not in the mood? esp after 15 yrs? maybe I"M naive to think this is what he meant smilelol
        Also....if the man Doesn't have to take out or romance the woman at all or hardly ever......well, if they can't do that, how is the woman gonna be fond of him--just by love and financial support alone? and if she's not fond......well she cannot enjoy sex much......at least I wouldn't. sad

        1. profile image54
          tommyjposted 7 years agoin reply to this

          I have never grown truly fond of anybody based on the fact that they took me out to dinner.

          1. schoolgirlforreal profile image80
            schoolgirlforrealposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            I suppose. These think you should have 10-15 kids......well maybe all the kids bring you joy.....and you don't need fun.......

            1. profile image54
              tommyjposted 7 years agoin reply to this

              To be sure, having children begotten on me also never incurred my affection. Quite the opposite.

              1. schoolgirlforreal profile image80
                schoolgirlforrealposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                ok. sounds good

        2. Stevennix2001 profile image88
          Stevennix2001posted 7 years agoin reply to this

          argue? who's arguing?  i was just making a statement to contribute on this forum. besides, you know i'm not the arguing type that goes out trolling others.  anyone that says that, clearly doesn't know me at all.

          Oh okay.  Why didn't you just say so? now that statement does imply the notion that sexual acts are solely based to quench the man's needs.  something I disagree with as well. besides, it's a huge turn on to watch the girl your with enjoy it too.  wink

          plus, i don't know how some guys could still enjoy having sex with a girl that wasn't enjoying it, as it would make me sad to think I wasn't any good in the sack with her. tongue 

             Well you have to remember when a lot of this was written, it was a different time back then.  Before, women weren't allowed many rights and were deemed more as property than individuals. Not saying I agree with that logic or notion, but that's how things were when that passage was originally written.  Do I think people should live by that now?  certainly not.  things have changed a lot since then, and humanity isn't as narrow minded about things as they used to be. Therefore, I don't agree with the implied lifestyle those quotations suggests.

          If anything, I think as long as you follow god's ten commandments and keep him and his son jesus in your heart, then I don't see why he'd have a problem with you enjoying sex with your lover.  besides, with all this war, and other problems he has to worry about, do you honestly think he cares about people's sex lives?  I don't think he does.  If he does, then god is a pervert.  tongue

          1. schoolgirlforreal profile image80
            schoolgirlforrealposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            Hey! Stevie, chill. I meant that Me personally, didn't want to bring up a long comment , but I "had " to.......ok smile

            Very insightful. I agree smile smile

            1. Stevennix2001 profile image88
              Stevennix2001posted 7 years agoin reply to this

              hey schoolgirl, i wasn't upset or anything, as i've been calm ever since i entered this forum.  lol  I was just saying.

              1. schoolgirlforreal profile image80
                schoolgirlforrealposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                Ok! now that we're clear. Nice to see you, btw smile

                1. Stevennix2001 profile image88
                  Stevennix2001posted 7 years agoin reply to this

                  thanks schoolgirl, it's nice to see you again too. it's been a while since i last saw you. hows everything going?

                  1. schoolgirlforreal profile image80
                    schoolgirlforrealposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                    I've been good! Keeping busy, always trying to do more things. Taking care of my cats Lenny and Maurice, seeing my family...making some new friends smile Thanks

                    btw not every day is great but you know how it is. How've you been?

      2. Druid Dude profile image59
        Druid Dudeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        Wanted: One Idiot Bishop

    2. J.R. Smith profile image52
      J.R. Smithposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      The bible tells of how a man should love his wife. Christian doctrine tells us to love our wives as Christ loves the church.
      I believe it is in second Peter. Many of those Catholic rules you speak of are not supported by the bible (purgatory,confession,literal communion,etc.) The bible tells of love and care for one's spouse.

      1. schoolgirlforreal profile image80
        schoolgirlforrealposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        yeah, I think both partners should support the other.....sexually.

        1. J.R. Smith profile image52
          J.R. Smithposted 7 years agoin reply to this

          A man should love his wife as he loves himself. Therefore, her pleasure would be paramount to his. 2 peter.

          1. Druid Dude profile image59
            Druid Dudeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            Be that way with or without Peter:)

  2. Gordon Hamilton profile image98
    Gordon Hamiltonposted 7 years ago

    Hi, Schoolgirlforreal,

    Firstly, I shudder to think of the replies that you are likely to get to this post!!! sad

    I am a Christian but I am a Presbyterian and so can not comment on your bishop's opinions - we don't have bishops.

    I very much see your point, however, in that sex between a man and a woman was designed to be pleasurable and so it should be. I honestly believe in the simple fact that God made it that way in order that our species would procreate and thus flourish and survive.

    I think it is very important that the overall experience be pleasurable to both parties and in no way think that counters or demeans the religious perspective or objectives.

    Good luck in administering this thread... smile

    1. schoolgirlforreal profile image80
      schoolgirlforrealposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I agree to a "T" big_smile
      btw..so far so good on the replies smile

  3. Mighty Mom profile image81
    Mighty Momposted 7 years ago

    I don't even know what to say about the bishop's comment.
    So I will just say all the things that came into my mind when I read it.
    NOWHERE in the Catholic doctrine say:
    a) that sexual relations between a man and a woman cannot be pleasurable
    b) that only the man's pleasure matters

    The Catholic Church is most concerned about procreation, yes.
    "Will you accept children lovingly from God?" is a standard question on the premarital interview with the priest. This question is really about not using birth control.
    It may also be part of the "standard" wedding rite.
    However, I need to point out that "obey" has been removed from the "love, honor and obey."

    I can tell you that when my mom, one of the most devout Catholics in history, told me the facts of life, she made no mention whatsoever of pregnancy. She just said something to the effect of "one night, when a husband and wife are feeling especially loving, the man puts his..." (we all know the rest).
    Rather euphemistic, I know. But the implication was it was a mutual decision based on feeling especially loving...

  4. profile image0
    prayersposted 7 years ago

    I want to know where the quote came from.  What was the Bishop's name and how do you know he was Catholic?

    1. Druid Dude profile image59
      Druid Dudeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      PSST,,, I think this was in church. And I took it that the question was being asked by a CATHOLIC.

    2. schoolgirlforreal profile image80
      schoolgirlforrealposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      oh yeah well you know i can't tell! lol

      1. schoolgirlforreal profile image80
        schoolgirlforrealposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        but  you can find him on youtube. And I wrote a hub on him.........

  5. profile image0
    china manposted 7 years ago

    Catholics generally consider sex is for making babies and to enjoy sex simply for itself is lust that is at the very least 'frowned upon' and the source of endless entertainment for priests in the confessional.

    This is why the doctrine attracts all those weirdos for whom sex is enjoyable BECAUSE IT IS A SIN.  You know - the dirty mind with the moralising mouth.

    1. schoolgirlforreal profile image80
      schoolgirlforrealposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      uh huh

      1. Diane Inside profile image77
        Diane Insideposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        You know schoolgirl I wouldn't have a problem with this "rule" about pleasing your husband if it goes both ways.

        If he had to please me as well. And not so onesided. saying that I have to do what he says but he does not.

        I'm not catholic so I don't go by either. lol

        And neither does he. lol

        1. schoolgirlforreal profile image80
          schoolgirlforrealposted 7 years agoin reply to this

          totally
          absolutely.
          if anyone's going w/ out it gona be him lol  evil laugh!!!!!

 
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