Two pastors were standing on a curve in the road with two signs. The first one said, "Turn around now." The second one said, "The end is near."
A man came upon them and shouted at them, "Why don't you all leave us alone you religious nuts."
After the car went on around the turn they heard screeching tires and a big crash. The first one said to the other one, "You think we should have just made a sign saying BRIDGE OUT!! instead?"
Haha! Glad to see it was just a joke, Dent, and a funny one at that. Thought you'd really gone over the edge when I saw the title, was expecting gloom and doom and calls to repent. Happy to see you're still relatively sane.
It is good for others to see that we christians have a sense of humor, especially when most find us boring religious zealots.
That was really funny!
A humorous stance from a religious viewpoint...haha. I was expecting some religious explanation about armageddon!
Funny! Reminds me of a few other jokes, but they may not be suitable here.
Someone sent me that in an eamil a while back. I thought it might be good to post here with all the intense threads there are.
The End is Near
With the advent of the Promised Messiah 1835-1908, the End has already happened; a new era has since ushered in.
Perhaps there should be more like it.
I'll keep my eyes open for some other funny stuff too.
I am glad everyone enjoyed this. paar should read the opening post before commenting though. It seems he missed what the OP is about.
Man: God, how much is a million dollars to you?
God: It is but a penny.
Man: God, how long is a million years to you?
God: It is but a second.
Man: God, could you please give me a penny?
God: Sure, just a second.
A Rabbi & A Priest were close friends.
Each Month the Priest would invite the Rabbi to Atlantic City for a day of gambling. The Rabbi always refused.
One day, the Priest called, very exited, he had won a large amount of money and bought a shiny, red, sports car. He invited his friend for a ride. The Rabbi accepted.
They drove off -- wind in their hair. As they approached a curve, the car spun out of control, flipped and threw them both fifty feet. The Priest looked over at the Rabbi, half out of it and saw him make the "sign of the cross". Weeks later, they were talking over lunch about the accident and the Priest could not help but ask, "Rabbi, after the accident, I looked over and swore I saw you make the "sign of the cross". The Rabbi laughed. "I did no such thing." The Priest insisted and asked what he was doing then. "Looking", said the Rabbi. "For what?", griped the Priest:
Spectacles, Testicles, Vallet, Vatch... oye!
Dara O'Briain on mixed marriages. Brilliant
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0thRUS1wUw
A young boy asks his minister, "will I go to Heaven if I am a good boy at home and at school"?
No, the minister said
"What about if I get rich and give lots of money to charities"?
No, the minister said
"How about if I become a Missionary to some tribes in the jungle"?
No, the minister said
"What if I give myself to serve the poor"?
No, the minister said
Becoming quite frustrated, the boy asks, "So, what DO I have to do to get to Heaven"?
Die. Said the minister.
A Rabbi went to the barber shop. After his hair cut, he got ready to pay the barber and the barber said, "No Rabbi, I don't charge the clergy for haircuts." So the next morning the barber found a loaf of Jewish rye bread outside of his door step.
A couple of days past and a Catholic priest came in to get his hair cut. He got ready to pay and the barber said, "No Father, I don't charge the clergy for hair cuts." So the next morning he found a bottle of wine outside his front door step.
A couple of days later the Baptist preacher came in to get his hair cut and when he got ready to pay the barber said, "No Reverend, I don't charge the clergy for their hair cuts." So the next morning, the barber found 15 Baptist preachers on his doorstep, ready to get their hair cut!
http://jokes.christiansunite.com/Pastors/
hree pastors went to the pastor convention and were all sharing one room. The first pastor said, "Let's confess our secret sins one to another. I'll start - my secret sin is I just love to gamble. When I go out of town, it's cha-ching cha-ching, let the machines ring."
The second pastor said, "My secret sin is that I just hate working. I copy all my sermons from those given by other pastors."
The third pastor said, "My secret sin is gossiping and, oh boy, I just can't wait to get out of this room!"
http://jokes.christiansunite.com/Pastors/
by Hokey 14 years ago
Post your best jokes on here. Lets see what you got!!!!
by jomine 13 years ago
we human beings as a species are ageing. in most developed countries the number of aged is increasing compared to the young,and developing nations are slowly follow that way. will the growth pyramid upturn?will we as a species is going to get extinct?
by fresh2def05 13 years ago
Does anyone feel like the end is near? (meaning the end of the world)
by lizzieBoo 13 years ago
"Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind, " according to Einstein. The new fundamentalist secularism, as lead by the likes of Hitchens, Dawkins and and Hawking, is "intellectually disappointing," according to Johnathan Sacks, Chief Rabbi in London,...
by Doc Young 10 years ago
Is the end of "the world" near ...
by mischeviousme 12 years ago
Moses, Jesus and this old guy are playing golf.Moses drives the ball and it goes right for a pond, so moses parts the water and the ball roles up the opposite bank.Jesus drives the ball and sure enough, it goes right fro the pond and roles across the the surface to the opposite bank.The old guy...
Copyright © 2024 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2024 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |