Two pastors were standing on a curve in the road with two signs. The first one said, "Turn around now." The second one said, "The end is near."
A man came upon them and shouted at them, "Why don't you all leave us alone you religious nuts."
After the car went on around the turn they heard screeching tires and a big crash. The first one said to the other one, "You think we should have just made a sign saying BRIDGE OUT!! instead?"
Haha! Glad to see it was just a joke, Dent, and a funny one at that. Thought you'd really gone over the edge when I saw the title, was expecting gloom and doom and calls to repent. Happy to see you're still relatively sane.
It is good for others to see that we christians have a sense of humor, especially when most find us boring religious zealots.
That was really funny!
A humorous stance from a religious viewpoint...haha. I was expecting some religious explanation about armageddon!
Funny! Reminds me of a few other jokes, but they may not be suitable here.
Someone sent me that in an eamil a while back. I thought it might be good to post here with all the intense threads there are.
The End is Near
With the advent of the Promised Messiah 1835-1908, the End has already happened; a new era has since ushered in.
Perhaps there should be more like it.
I'll keep my eyes open for some other funny stuff too.
I am glad everyone enjoyed this. paar should read the opening post before commenting though. It seems he missed what the OP is about.
Man: God, how much is a million dollars to you?
God: It is but a penny.
Man: God, how long is a million years to you?
God: It is but a second.
Man: God, could you please give me a penny?
God: Sure, just a second.
A Rabbi & A Priest were close friends.
Each Month the Priest would invite the Rabbi to Atlantic City for a day of gambling. The Rabbi always refused.
One day, the Priest called, very exited, he had won a large amount of money and bought a shiny, red, sports car. He invited his friend for a ride. The Rabbi accepted.
They drove off -- wind in their hair. As they approached a curve, the car spun out of control, flipped and threw them both fifty feet. The Priest looked over at the Rabbi, half out of it and saw him make the "sign of the cross". Weeks later, they were talking over lunch about the accident and the Priest could not help but ask, "Rabbi, after the accident, I looked over and swore I saw you make the "sign of the cross". The Rabbi laughed. "I did no such thing." The Priest insisted and asked what he was doing then. "Looking", said the Rabbi. "For what?", griped the Priest:
Spectacles, Testicles, Vallet, Vatch... oye!
Dara O'Briain on mixed marriages. Brilliant
A young boy asks his minister, "will I go to Heaven if I am a good boy at home and at school"?
No, the minister said
"What about if I get rich and give lots of money to charities"?
No, the minister said
"How about if I become a Missionary to some tribes in the jungle"?
No, the minister said
"What if I give myself to serve the poor"?
No, the minister said
Becoming quite frustrated, the boy asks, "So, what DO I have to do to get to Heaven"?
Die. Said the minister.
A Rabbi went to the barber shop. After his hair cut, he got ready to pay the barber and the barber said, "No Rabbi, I don't charge the clergy for haircuts." So the next morning the barber found a loaf of Jewish rye bread outside of his door step.
A couple of days past and a Catholic priest came in to get his hair cut. He got ready to pay and the barber said, "No Father, I don't charge the clergy for hair cuts." So the next morning he found a bottle of wine outside his front door step.
A couple of days later the Baptist preacher came in to get his hair cut and when he got ready to pay the barber said, "No Reverend, I don't charge the clergy for their hair cuts." So the next morning, the barber found 15 Baptist preachers on his doorstep, ready to get their hair cut!
hree pastors went to the pastor convention and were all sharing one room. The first pastor said, "Let's confess our secret sins one to another. I'll start - my secret sin is I just love to gamble. When I go out of town, it's cha-ching cha-ching, let the machines ring."
The second pastor said, "My secret sin is that I just hate working. I copy all my sermons from those given by other pastors."
The third pastor said, "My secret sin is gossiping and, oh boy, I just can't wait to get out of this room!"
by Hokey 11 years ago
Post your best jokes on here. Lets see what you got!!!!
by lizzieBoo 9 years ago
"Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind, " according to Einstein. The new fundamentalist secularism, as lead by the likes of Hitchens, Dawkins and and Hawking, is "intellectually disappointing," according to Johnathan Sacks, Chief Rabbi in London,...
by Doc Young 6 years ago
Is the end of "the world" near ...
by mischeviousme 9 years ago
Moses, Jesus and this old guy are playing golf.Moses drives the ball and it goes right for a pond, so moses parts the water and the ball roles up the opposite bank.Jesus drives the ball and sure enough, it goes right fro the pond and roles across the the surface to the opposite bank.The old guy...
by fresh2def05 9 years ago
Does anyone feel like the end is near? (meaning the end of the world)
by jomine 10 years ago
we human beings as a species are ageing. in most developed countries the number of aged is increasing compared to the young,and developing nations are slowly follow that way. will the growth pyramid upturn?will we as a species is going to get extinct?
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