1) the other day, some dude called me god.
2) when some guy yelled "Jesus Christ", I looked around.
3) The other day, I created a universe. Don't believe me? Come on over and see it.
4) God created man in his own image, and I just noticed that a LOT of people look similar to me.
5) According to that guy over there, he thinks I'm god. G'head and ask him.
6) Those people who say that I'm not god are all terrorist who are just using the fear of hell to sway you from believing in Me.
7) I got mad at some lady who ate an apple the other day.
8) I created time the other day: the clock said 8:43, but I knew it was really 8:45. So I changed it.
9) All the people who wrote the bible aren't alive any more, but if you were to go back in time and ask them, they'd say that I was god. How do I know? BECAUSE I'M GOD AND I DID ASK THEM!! SUCK IT
10) Last night, when I was banging 30 prostitutes, they kept yelling "oh god... oh god".
G'NIGHT EVERY BODY!!!
Evan's personality is so magnetic, he can't carry credit cards.
You can't be God, because I'm his son, and YOU don't look anything like him....wait a minute! Mom. Could I talk to you alone? (1 hr. pause) What? No! The milk man? Hey, Evan...you ever been a milk man?
LOOK UPON ME AND KNOW THE TRUTH, MY SON.
This dude is too space out to handle the truth.
I'm your real Father
I AM MY OWN FATHER, AND THE LIGHT, AND THE DARKNESS!!
I know! I can tell by the CAPS that every word is true!
I travel so much, I think I found his Mother in a bar, washing her sins away, YES, maybe, I think maybe. I’m just an earthling …father,
How could you know, can GOD see from living in the DARK all the time
Please forgive, me, please (gulp) no no don’t kill… no no please (cry cry) don’t kill…meeee
Not only that - when Evan is on this side of the pool and his drink is on that side of the pool, he walks straight across to get it. Impressive to see.
Oh my god. Or should I say oh my Evan? I've been searching for you all my life. Not to point out the obvious, but I thought you'd be taller.
This is actually not a bad idea, but I think you should expand it a little.
for the argument made by all those people who do not read books (science cannot explain how life arose)
7) Science cannot explain how life arose to the lazy and/or illiterate - Therefore it must have been me who created all life on earth.
Oh Evan!!! My God and heavens to betsy heavens too
I will following you everywhere you go, follow every word you say, praise every fart you make, live by every move you make.
What? you want me to f*** Off. How do you want me to f*** off, slave master.
*begins worshiping Evan*
I have already sacrificed a goat and burnt a Harry Potter book in your name. The shrine is still in construction.
I didn't know you were god, I would have been suckier if I knew that before!
a few quick points about this post that I wanted to explain---
1) I'm making fun of that "10 facts that prove osama isn't dead" forum.
2) I really don't think i'm god.
3) I INTENTIONALLY kept "i'm" lower case in the title to be ironic.
4) I love the responses. This is hilarious.
Your not really god??????????????????????????????????????????????????
I just burned a whole library!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Surely this is a test, o Lord of the Heavens. I am in the process of making a large wooden vessel and bringing 2 of each animal on board, in accordance to your threats of a "big-ass flood".
Yes, another test of our faith, we can't manage to run our lives on our own, EVER.
I thought it was red dragon burning up the earth this time, I never know where the word of GOD is coming from, I think I AM GOING INSANE it's really colourful like Jerami said it would be.
Hey god! You know all that stuff I said about you? I was joking right?
by Zara Rasul 3 months ago
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by jerami 7 years ago
I read that question earlier and have been thinking about it while trying to go to sleep .... Well? Here I am ??? I was wondering what life would be like if it hadn't been? Had we not received knowledge we wouldn’t have anything to fear or anticipate. We enjoy the quest much...
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