A good joke

Jump to Last Post 1-8 of 8 discussions (24 posts)
  1. mischeviousme profile image58
    mischeviousmeposted 6 years ago

    Moses, Jesus and this old guy are playing golf.

    Moses drives the ball and it goes right for a pond, so moses parts the water and the ball roles up the opposite bank.

    Jesus drives the ball and sure enough, it goes right fro the pond and roles across the the surface to the opposite bank.

    The old guy drives the ball, it heads for the pond, a squirell grabs it and heads for the woods, just then a hawk swoops down and grabs the squirell and as it flies over the whole, the hawk gives it a squeeze and the squirell drops it in for a whole in one.

    Jesus says "Nice shot dad"!

    1. paradigmsearch profile image89
      paradigmsearchposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      lol

      1. Druid Dude profile image61
        Druid Dudeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

        I LIKE IT!

        Here's one: A Protestant minister, a catholic priest and a Jewish Rabbi are fishing from a boat. The minister says "I have to pee" so the Rabbi offers to row him to shore. The minister says "No need!" gets out, walks across the water and heads to the bathroom, returning the same way. Soon, the Priest says: I left my tackle box on the dock" to which the Rabbi makes his offer of rowing once again. The priest says "No need!"  gets out, walks across the water, grabs his box and walks back. The Rabbi is now looking for a way to equalize the situation says: "I left my lunch on the bank!" to which one of the others offers to row. "No need!" declares the Rabbi. He steps out and disappears below the surface.

        The Minister looks at the Priest and says "Should we show him where the rocks are?"

        1. Rosie2010 profile image72
          Rosie2010posted 6 years agoin reply to this

          love it! lol

    2. MelissaBarrett profile image62
      MelissaBarrettposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      *rolls
      *for
      *rolls
      *squirrel
      *squirrel
      *hole
      *squirrel
      *hole

      1. mischeviousme profile image58
        mischeviousmeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

        Bad spelling I know...

    3. Ramsa1 profile image60
      Ramsa1posted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Funny, nice and clean. Love it.

      1. Druid Dude profile image61
        Druid Dudeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

        Here's one more. Adam in the Garden : God. Why did you make women so beautiful? God replies: So you will love them.
        After a moment Adam says:God, why did you make them so stupid?
        God replied: So that they would love you !

        1. mischeviousme profile image58
          mischeviousmeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

          An archeologist is tooling around in a cave and stumbles upon a lamp.
          A genie pops out and says I will grant you 3 wishes, but be for warned I'm an evil genie, so your worst enemy will get twice what you wish for "who is your worst enemy".

          The archeologist says "that's easy my ex-wife".
          The archeologist wishes for a billion dollars, the genie says "your ex-wife gets 2 billion dollars.

          He wishes for a mansion with 2 tennis courts, the genie says "she gets twice that. What is your 3rd and final wish"?

          The archeologist says "I'll have to think on that" and leaves.

          He comes back a short while later, hands the genie a stick and says "Now beat me half to death".

    4. Rosie2010 profile image72
      Rosie2010posted 6 years agoin reply to this

      love it! lol

  2. A Troubled Man profile image59
    A Troubled Manposted 6 years ago

    Jesus made his usual rounds in heaven when he noticed a wizened, white-haired old man sitting in a corner looking very disconsolate. The next week he was disturbed to come across him again, looking equally miserable, and a week later he stopped to talk to him.

    "See here, old fellow," said Jesus kindly, "this is heaven. The sun is shining, you've got all you could want to eat, all the instruments you might want to play-- you're supposed to be blissfully happy! What's wrong?

    "Well," said the old man, "you see, I was a carpenter on earth, and lost my only, dearly beloved son at an early age. And here in heaven I was hoping more than anything to find him."

    "Tears sprang from Jesus' eyes. "FATHER!" he cried.

    The old man jumped to his feet, bursting into tears, and sobbed, "PINOCCHIO!"

    1. Druid Dude profile image61
      Druid Dudeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Love that one. Cool!

      1. Rosie2010 profile image72
        Rosie2010posted 6 years agoin reply to this

        +1 love it

    2. mischeviousme profile image58
      mischeviousmeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      3 guys are at the pearly gates.

      Saint paul approaches and says "There's a special in heaven this week. Whoever died in the most interesting way get's in first".

      The first guy says "I got home and I found a guy hanging from my balcony, believing she was cheating on me, so I beat his hand with my shoe until he fell. A tree stopped his fall, so I pushed the refrigorator over the balcony and killed him. I had a heart attack from all of the excitement and here I am".

      The second guy says "I was working out on my balcony when I slipped and fell, luckily I was able to brab the rail of the balcony bellow and this guy starts beating my hands with a shoe. I fell, but luckily there was tree to break my fall, then a refrigorator fell on me and here I am".

      The third guy says "I have no idea how I got here, I was hiding in a refrigorator".

  3. A Troubled Man profile image59
    A Troubled Manposted 6 years ago

    An elderly couple are attending church services... About halfway through, she writes a note and hands it to her husband. It says, "I just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?" He scribbles back, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

    1. jonnycomelately profile image84
      jonnycomelatelyposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Troubled, I wear hearing aids,  very funny!

    2. jonnycomelately profile image84
      jonnycomelatelyposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Church Ladies With typewriters . . .

      They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:  (Just a small selection for now, jonnycomelately)

      *The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
      *This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
      *Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
      *The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
      *Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
      *The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . *The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
      *Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church Please use large double door at the side entrance.

  4. Joy56 profile image75
    Joy56posted 6 years ago

    does the joke have to have religious content then.....


      How do you know Moses wore a wig.....

      sometimes he was with Aaron and sometimes without Aaron.

  5. jonnycomelately profile image84
    jonnycomelatelyposted 6 years ago

    I don't think so Joy, not necessarily, but I feel it helps to keep our serious side in a healthy balance.

  6. Rosie2010 profile image72
    Rosie2010posted 6 years ago

    Thanks for making me laugh, guys!  Here's one...


    An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man.
    When she returned to her daughter's house later that night, she seemed upset.
    "What happened, Mother?" the daughter asked.
    "I had to slap his face three times!"
    "You mean he got fresh?"
    "No," she answered. "I thought he was dead!"

    1. mischeviousme profile image58
      mischeviousmeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      +1

      1. Castlepaloma profile image76
        Castlepalomaposted 6 years agoin reply to this

        Satanic Starbucks
        A man died and went to straight down to hell. The devil greeted him and gave him a guided tour of the place. He told the man that there were three rooms he could chose from in which to spend eternity. The first room was full of flames so hot the man couldn't even breathe. He told the devil that there was no way he was choosing that room. So they moved on.
        The next room they came to was full of people who were being beaten and tortured. It looked so painful the man could not watch. He told the devil he definitely didn't want that room, and they moved on.
        The last room they came to was full of people who were just sitting around drinking coffee and relaxing. The only thing was that they were standing around in about two feet of poop. The man looked for a while and then told the devil this room would be all right.
        The devil gestured for him to sit down and the man took a seat. He did, sipped his coffee and felt really pleased with his choice. After a few minutes, a voice came over the loudspeaker and said, "Break time is over! Back on your heads!"

  7. Enelle Lamb profile image83
    Enelle Lambposted 6 years ago

    All of these made me laugh big_smile thanks! I needed that big_smile

  8. iantoPF profile image79
    iantoPFposted 6 years ago

    A couple of catholic jokes;
    What do you call a nun who lives upstairs?
    None of the above
    what do you call a Rabbi who lives in a monastery?
    a Schmunk
    What do you call a priest who wears nun's clothes?
    A transister.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)