Do people really dislike others based on appearance? Do we pass judgment and pass over the opportunity to know someone because of their physical appearance? I’m not just referring to people we view as unattractive I’m also speaking of the people that we consider attractive. Is an attractive person penalized for being physically attractive just as often as an unattractive person?
people are definitely treated differently because of appearance. especially when it comes to relationships. i think all relationships begin with a sense of infatuation - you are physically attracted to someone, so you pursue them. you can't fall in love with a person solely based on appearance but there's a reason that Joe decided to go after the cheerleader and not the chess club girl...
I would answer yes, people (some people) dislike others based on their looks alone.
Yes, some people will pass over the opportunity to know someone just because of their appearance.
And, no I don't think a physically attractive person is penalized at all, I think attractiveness actually opens doors for those lucky people all the time. It's a real asset in my view.
Here is a somewhat crude example, but true none-the-less:
A guy is in a bar and has two women hitting on him, one a very attractive blond with nice parts all in the right places, and the other is a very homely woman who is flat chested, who does he choose to get to know better? Could he be basing his decision on looks alone?
So you don’t think that an ugly fat girl who comes in contact with a well proportioned girl- won’t penalize her? For example- There are 2 women being interviewed for a job- equally qualified one attractive the other is a little over weight and has a mustache-and horrible teeth. The interviewer is 100lbs over weight and was picked on by pretty people all through school...Who do you think will be offered the job???
there has already been extensive research done on this subject and unfortunately, its true. attractive people are treated better, get jobs first, and in some cases make a lot more money. sad, but true.
I agree with Misha, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and that would include you. When you look at yourself in the mirror think good positive thoughts about your appearance, shoo the negative thoughts out of your mind. As far as I'm concerned everybody is beautiful in more ways than one. Physical beauty is very fleeting, it can be gone in an instant!
I think we need a certain level of comfort to be able to function. If you think someone is ugly then you pass over the chance - if you think someone is beautiful then you are too nervous and pass over the chance.
I know heaps about life and if ugly people were mean to you,You must of being a real B..ch to them with your patronizing friends.And no i am not an Ugly person i am a very beautiful human being both inside and out.
for someone who knows heaps about life-that was an extremely rude and unjustifiable assumption-not to mention an ugly response to another human being. No matter what the wrapping paper looks like-its what beauty lies within...
People passed judgement on me all the time when I was younger...because I wore glasses and I'm weird. But hey I wear contacts now, I'm married to a great guy, have the best of friends, and I am using my weirdness to write stories and make something out of myself. So I forgive them for their insults and alienating me when I was a kid.
But I myself don't pass judegment because I know how it feels.
What about the ugly duckling syndrom... When the chess club geek becomes the head cheerleader? Does it make people rethink things? Are people such as that more drawn to the outcasts in us all or do they transform into one of those jerks that use to cut them down and belittle them?
Someone told me once-and it really pissed me off that if you are unattractive you have to be overly caring and nice, or you will never have a friend... But if you are fortunate to be physically beautiful you get away with more and have wiggle room to be a b*tch---because you are hot and people will put up with ill behavior from a hot girl. But a mean ugly girl---will never have a friend... Does anyone think this is true? I think it is wrong but not sure if it is true or not?
I wonder how long it will take for maximus to find this thread.
I think everyone whether physically beautiful or 'ugly' has to figure out how they project themselves to the world. I've looked at really beautiful women before and saw 'emptiness'. and saw beauty in someone not so genetically blessed in the beauty department.
Every woman I've ever approached was attractive to me. Is this fair, probably not. But I want someone attractive. Do I judge people by how they look. Not really but I do decide what is attractive to me personally by how someone looks. I am often amused by online dating sights where women hit up the good looking attractive guys, but are appalled when men are mostly interested in the same in women.If its okay for you as a woman to not want a fat lazy unattractive man, why is it considered shallow for me to want a woman that weighs less then I do? Besides the fact that it may mean she has confidence, self-respect, and is outgoing, I could see how those things would be negatives for me.
My deal my dear is, that i have three men on the go,Not all at once though as they would be devasted if they found out that i was in Love with three beautiful men at the same time. I just could'nt bear to wake up to the same boring face for the rest of my life. Why i am never bored.Life is too short and this my dear is no rehersal in life. I am very happy that your husband thinks you are sexy.Does he think you are sexy or does he believe you are sexy.There is a difference my dear.
darling--if you want to keep passing stereotypes-as you are assumptions on peoples character based on their passion for writing...Your ignorance perfectly matches the bitterness you have within. i do not consider myself ugly-i do enjoy expressing myself in my writing-Im not an idiot-nor am i a b*tch (most days)-and i dont need a man to make me whole(i just like having his cute butt there to open the mayo jar and take out the trash )...
Maybe you need a bit of a nap-your rationalization seems a little clouded to me? Or maybe you need a man ;O
sneakorocksolidposted 14 years agoin reply to this
I do pester my wife, the poor woman, and she loves to play fight! Although she has said from the first date she could kick my butt if she really wanted to! I just tell her to, "Sit down pip-squeak!" and it's on again!
You obviously love your guy and enjoy flirting with him.
growing up i was the geek in the corner with braces/no upper body/ glasses/ uncontrolled red hair and my mother wouldnt let me shave until I was 16...LOL... But i never doubted when people were my friends-why they were. And i always new i earned what I had...
I grew into my looks-learned to control the hair/lost the medal gear in my mouth/ discovered contacts---and although i developed somewhat late in comparison to others/I got the boobs... I interviewed for a job with a male supervisor/ i got the job...not even 2 months later-i found out why i got the job-it wasnt because i was qualified/its because i was 'layable'-i ended up telling my supervisor to leave me the hell alone and go home to his pregnant wife...i was fired 3 weeks later. and that is not the first time i have been in a situation at a job that makes me feel and think-is that all that anyone will ever hire me for...none of them bother to look at my portfolio or even my eyes during the interview... wish i was the geek in the corner again...
how about text messages and IM of the drunken jerk putting in writing all that he thinks when he thinks of me... all it got me was a pissed off husband after he picked up my phone to see text messages at 2am-and the assurance of unemployment which pissed him off and he called Child Protective Services on me- causing an investigation after he accused me of being a doped up drug pushing mother... now that the investigation is over- i am trying to find a lawyer to give me my options... i hope his karma stings when it comes back to him...
it was a scary situation having CPS and the police showing up on your door step on a Saturday afternoon...Looking at your children-at your home-and giving you a on the spot drug test after an hour of questions... I would not do that to anyone. I feel as if he (my ex boss) was trying to take my children from me-and 1 completely bogus complaint could impact our lives that way... but when they found no drugs in the home and none in our systems...the case was closed. but i still believe he needs to own up and take responsibility for filing a false report...
Maybe it depends on what your objectives are with that person, for a friend, anything goes,good looking or not,as long as they are nice and all, but for a partner, at first you might be memerized by good looks but how about the character,the relationship might not last, so for a partner beauty and good character is more ok, added bonus, but dont have the mistake of just choosing because of physical characteristics.
When I was younger, i have used my beauty to get away with some privileges and attention, but it is just shallow thing. I realized that you can olny fool people for a short period of time...nothing compared to a beuatiful character, but if you have both it is alright.
Actually, the research follows that the more attractive you are, the better things are for you...jobs and other things are always more easily within reach. Up to a certain point. People who are considered 'too' good looking also run across something I'd call the intimidation factor. (This according to those studies someone referenced.)
And anyway, I think all of us know things are more complicated than a simple duality. IE, yes it is true that women have an issue with 'the pretty girl' sometimes. And no, she really has no wriggle room to be nasty among those women. If she has a couple flaws, too, perhaps, you can bet those same women are on them like the plague.
Straight men of course think being physically appealing is very important...I've noticed this especially, however, among men who are not considered traditionally attractive themselves. Seems like they also then place the beauty quotient on women. Which is kind of weird...like having an attractive woman is to make up for their lack of attractiveness somehow. Some women (especially the less self-assured ones) fall for it, especially if they value $$ and the man has that. Most women who value their own satisfaction do not got for it.
I've seen situations where overweight and unattractive was the norm, and everything is easier for those people. Game theory (A Beautiful Mind), even proposed that although everybody wants the gorgeous blonde (supposedly), people choose someone they don't think will reject them... And though I don't really necessarily believe that...there are huge and varying factors in preferences of any sort. For instance, intelligence and expression there of--in appearance and demeanor--may be paramount for some. Relatively unattractive and/or overweight people who have style and are neat, clean and competent I think are always judged better than sloppy, stupid and not-so-bright physically attractive people. At least at a certain professional job level.
I couldn't understand it. He reminded me of the awkward but somewhat smart geek guy in high school who had poor social skills and then just got creepier all through college. But he knew how to stir us women up!
not sure what to throw together...Guess i might be dusting off the ol Angel get up after all...LOL... Been putting together my son and daughters costumes for what feels like the past month... Cross eyed with the needle and thread-so not about ready to make something new for myself...LOL
She is a fairy- she is only one and is a saucy little b*tch already, she had preference to which shoes to wear-and let me know what she thought of my choice... (LOVE IT)and he is a scare crow (he saw one on TV and kept nagging me about it--LOL)
I'm shy of the camera too but everyone pushes me in front of it and makes me take pics. I say the camera can catch your true feelings so if you look closely to mine sometimes you can see my emotions. In this one I am playing bratty
Stuff! sorry couldn't resist I'm a smartass i'm afraid. It is a young adult story based on a high school in California that charades as a regular school but it isn't...it is a school that teaches teens to become demon hunters.
They are...I never really paid attention to my dreams thinking them weird and all..but when I took Writing Seminar in HS and had to keep a dream journal I was like OOO OOo I can write about that...or that...and that too. I still keep a dream journal to this day
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