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Truly Silly, and Hilarious, Google Searches

Updated on April 30, 2014

It’s About Time, Bill

My apologies! It has been over a year since I wrote an article in this nonsensical series, and truthfully it might have been another year if my good friend Lizzy hadn’t reminded me and made a request. So you have Lizzy to thank for this….or blame for this….depending on how receptive you are to this satirical look at our fellow travelers of the online world.

For those who have no idea what this series is about, allow me a brief explanation.

Almost two years ago I was doing a Google search for an article I was writing about DIY car repair. The first words I typed into Google were…..”How do you” and I was blown away by the choices that appeared on the screen….choices like “How do you tie a tie?” and “How do you boil an egg?” This, of course, led me to ask myself whether there were a great many bored people on the internet, or a great many people who had no clue about basic life skills. One of my favorite searches that I found was “How do you make chloroform?”…..yes, that search both mystified and terrified me.

At that point I could become very, very concerned about the state of mankind, or I could turn my nasty side loose and have some fun. I chose to have fun, and I choose to have fun today with a whole new series of responses to the question, “How do you?”

The search questions are real. The answers are a glimpse into my dark side.

I hope you enjoy the journey.

How do these people know if they are in love?
How do these people know if they are in love? | Source

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF A GUY LIKES YOU?

I’m more than happy to throw my hat into the ring on this one. I think I speak from experience. Last time I checked I was a guy, and I’ve liked women before, so hey, I’m qualified….right?

How do you know if a guy likes you? He will start acting like a complete idiot. Trust me, I know. If a guy likes you, all pretense of cool goes right out the window. He reverts back to middle school days. He’ll trip when he’s in your vicinity. He will suddenly forget the English language and start speaking in tongues, and if the frustration reaches the crazy level, he will wet himself.

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU ARE IN LOVE?

First of all, who in their right mind would check the internet for the answer to this question? Everyone knows that if you want to know the answer to this question, you simply watch “Ellen.”

Okay, so you don’t have a television. Now what? Well, just refer to the previous answer and then multiply times ten. In other words, you spend a great deal of your time changing your underwear and questioning your sanity.

Does the lady in purple have pink eye?
Does the lady in purple have pink eye? | Source

HOW DO YOU GET PINK EYE?

Please note that the question is not “what do you do if you get pink eye?” That would be logical, right? But this question is how do you get it, like there are millions out there wondering what they should do so they can contract this disease. I’m picturing a bunch of adolescents out there daydreaming about their futures, and thinking it might be cool if they can add “pink eye” to their personal resumes.

Okay, okay, I’m being silly now. Let me answer the question so we can move on. How do you get pink eye? You rub your eye with a pink finger! Simple!

And for the love of God, don’t approach that guy you are falling in love with when your eye is pink.

HOW DO YOU GET RINGWORM?

The same people trying to get pink eye are also eager to have ringworm. Do you know any of these people? Are they your neighbors? Are they your family? If so, be afraid. Be very afraid.

Does anyone remember the comedy bit Johnny Carson used to do on the Tonight Show, “The Amazing Carnac?” Am I the only one old enough to remember that? This question reminds me of that. And the answer is…..ringworm! And what is the question? What do you get when you take a straight worm and curve it into a ring shape and slip it on your finger?

Simple!

Do any of these people have scabies?
Do any of these people have scabies? | Source

Do you know how to spell a word? Be honest now!

See results

HOW DO YOU GET SCABIES?

This might be a bit racy for some of you, so forgive me for the sensitive subject.

If you take a mother sca, and she makes love to a father sca, what you get nine months later is a scaby….and if you took fertility drugs you just might get scabies!

Please, don’t throw things at me. I know it’s corny but what do you want for free?

Here’s a better question? How do you get pink eye, scabies, and ringworm all at the same time?

Hang around a college dorm during spring break!

HOW DO YOU SAY IN SPANISH?

I’m not joking. That really is the search question. How do you say what in Spanish? Do they just assume that Google can read their minds?

For those who actually did that search, nothing I say here will help you. You are beyond help in any language. How do you say “hopeless” in Spanish? How do you say it in French? How do you say it in Italian?

Instead of doing stupid Google searches, why don’t you head over to the nearest college dorm and roll around in a pile of ringworms for entertainment? Maybe you’ll meet a girl with pink eye and you can marry and have a bunch of pink scabies.

HOW DO YOU SPELL A WORD?

Yes, you read that correctly. This question does not ask how to spell a particular word…..thousands just want to know how to spell any old word. I honestly don’t know what to say to this one. Remember, to make it to the top of the Google search list, there has to be hundreds of thousands out there, right now, doing these searches. So that means there are hundreds of thousands of people wondering how to spell any old word.

Again, I don’t know what to say.

If you ever wondered how bad our public school system is, this search question should answer that question. This is a perfect example of your tax dollars at work.

Here’s how stupid that question is: in order to type in the question, six words had to be correctly spelled. Are you with me?

Please, no matter where you live, the next time a school bond is on your voting ballot, don’t vote for it. It is a complete waste of time. Anyone who doesn’t know how to spell a word needs to be working at Walmart, and their names should be posted somewhere where we can see them, and then we can take that list of names and sit down with our children and beg them to PLEASE, PLEASE DON’T MARRY ANY OF THESE PEOPLE!

Do you want more of this nonsense? Do you want me to write another in this series?

See results

That’s All I Have Time for Today

Seriously, there are more, but if I discuss these any longer I’m going to be depressed, and depression leads to the desire to catch scabies, and that leads to divorce and lawyers and division of property, and of course that leads to working at Walmart and being publicly chastised and, well, I’d rather avoid that whole scene.

So I’ll just say thanks for joining me and I hope you enjoyed the return to the Land of Silly.

P.S. I know, folks, that there are logical explanations for these questions....but where is the fun in logic?

2014 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

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    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 3 years ago from Arizona

      Hysterical and makes you realize how people think. I am always amazed at what people come up with--all the time. Maybe we are just too smart Bill. That is a real possibility.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Carol, that is a possibility I had never thought of. LOL Seriously, thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed this silliness, and I always appreciate you stopping by. You are a true, blue friend.

    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 3 years ago from New York, New York

      Bill, after the long night I had designing I needed this laugh this morning. So many thanks to you for this today! Happy Tuesday and try not to get Pink Eye, Ringworm or Scabies! Seriously though, thank you for the laugh and smiles today :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      It was my pleasure, Janine! It was fun doing one of these again. Get some rest my friend and enjoy your day. We have summer weather the next three days and it is heavenly.

    • profile image

      dragonflycolor 3 years ago

      Eres muy divertido. Mari translation: You are very funny. Thanks, Bill!

    • profile image

      Old Poolman 3 years ago

      Bill, a great hub and funny to boot.

      To find some really crazy searches just start out a search with the word "How" and see what starts appearing in the search list. You will be amazed at what some individuals want to know.

      On the serious side, there is very little we might need to know that an answer can't be found with a google search. Many searches even take us to a youtube video that shows us exactly how to do what we wish to do.

      Be careful though, not all answers to your search are guaranteed to be correct.

    • RachaelOhalloran profile image

      Rachael O'Halloran 3 years ago from United States

      It would be interesting to have reverse video cam to see what type of people ask these questions. As I read them, the pictures that appear in my mind run the full gamut from little a 8 year old asking about pink eye to get out of going to school... all the way to college kids asking how to spell a word. Notice I did not reverse these two examples, because chances are the 8 year old does know how to spell a word and the college kid does not. This was a funny look into not only dumb searches but sadly true searches.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 3 years ago from Central Florida

      I miss this series. You used to post it on Thursdays and I'd read them during my lunch hour. BTW, I do remember the Amazing Kreskin. The answers/questions were so corny you had to laugh!

      I love your explanation of how you get scabies. You had me laughing my ass off on that one!

      Glad to see this new installation, Bill. It's been sorely missed!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you, Mari! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Poolman, good to see you my friend. I really am amazed about Google. You really can learn how to do anything. Lots of my projects, I learned over Google and YouTube.....not to mention the laughs I have gotten along the way. :) Thanks buddy.

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 3 years ago

      I am laughing with tears in my eyes. The people who ask these questions are the same ones who think that Al Sharpton is Secretary of State!!! Voted up and funny!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Rachael, and I suspect the way you worded that was accurate. :) I'm glad you enjoyed my trip to the inane today.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sha, I thought Bev was going to hurt herself last night when I read the scabies part to her. Glad you enjoyed it. I used to laugh my own ass off watching Kreskin....way too funny!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      LOL....breakfastpop, that is a great line! And you are probably right! LOL again.

    • Debby Bruck profile image

      Debby Bruck 3 years ago

      Billy, very well written in the English language, which must be your native language. I say this because millions of people with a computer and access to the internet write shortcut sentences in the search engine in poor English grammar. This must be how these top questions end up on Google. And, anxious people, might begin their question..... pause.... and never finish their sentence. There you have it! Millions of people, including young people today with their own language structure, do not form their questions and sentences as, perhaps, those of us who went to elementary school in the 50's, 60's and 70's. What do you think? People just want to know and they go to the largest repository of information on the planet. Let Google be your personal advisor.

    • Cardisa profile image

      Carolee Samuda 3 years ago from Jamaica

      My logical side is seeing these as legitimate questions Bill. But my dark side agrees with your answers 100%.

      The question about the pink eye, scabies and ringworm are from people who have it,or think they have it and want to know how they got it.

      How do you spell a word, believe me, is also a legitimate question. I think they are searching for spelling techniques. The answer to that would be breaking up and pronouncing the syllables, word origin and so forth. They probably encountered a word they can't spell and need to know if there was a way to spell it without actually seeing the word?

      However, with all my rationale, I CANNOT explain "How do you say in Spanish". The only explanation I can come up with is that the search term is incomplete. In other words, Google gets so many requests for different words in Spanish so it anticipates the search term, which it usually does. So you will only see the first part of the term and not the actual "WORD".

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks, Debby, and I'm sure you are right....but it's still fun to just be silly about it all once in a while. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      All logical indeed, Cardisa, but I prefer to look at the illogic and just plain silly. :) Thanks for stopping by.

    • Sheri Faye profile image

      Sheri Dusseault 3 years ago from Chemainus. BC, Canada

      Ha ha! Thanks for the morning giggle!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sheri, it was my pleasure. Thank you!

    • Radcliff profile image

      Liz Davis 3 years ago from Hudson, FL

      OH, my mouth hurts from smiling. This is hysterical. Thank you for giving me a laugh this morning.

      If you're still taking my requests, I'd like a hub that tells us all about the times you wet your pants in front of women. Please include Bev's thoughts about living with a man who suffers from emotion-induced incontinence.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sorry, Lizzy, but you only get one request, and your time is up! LOL There is no way young lady, so live with it.

    • Blond Logic profile image

      Mary Wickison 3 years ago from Brazil

      I am so pleased you started this again as it is always good for a laugh. I hope we won't have to wait a whole year for the next installment.

      I must say I have asked the Google Gods some silly questions in my time too.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Blond, I'm so glad you enjoyed this. I always have fun writing these. Not really sure why I ever stopped. :) Thank you!

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      What a great way to open the day. Hilarious! Love the build on some of these searches.

    • cecileportilla profile image

      Cecile Portilla 3 years ago from West Orange, New Jersey

      I liked this billybuc. This shows that you are a well rounded writer. You can discuss just about any subject and get a positive response from your audience.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks Dianna! Glad I haven't lost my touch in the humor department. Happy Anniversary my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Well thank you, Cecile. This is just my silly side poking its head out.

    • profile image

      DJ Anderson 3 years ago

      Oh, this was GREAT!! You made me laugh out loud.

      My son used to be a "Best Buy Computer Geek". They make them wear

      white socks and black shoes.

      Loved the video!!

      If you were to fail at becoming a great writer, you might look into

      stand up comedian.

      Super funny material about the scabies.

      Thanks for the laughs,

      DJ.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      DJ, my son worked for Best Buy too....the video was in his honor. LOL

      Thank you and I'm glad you had fun with it. Good luck on the writing and research today my friend.

      bill

    • Sparklea profile image

      Sparklea 3 years ago from Upstate New York

      oh, Bill! Ringworm and pink eye? LOL ...beyond LOL! I just got home from an appointment, in the pouring rain...NOTE: Upstate New York current weather forecast? Rain, all day, every day for the next week! So arriving home and reading this is a gigantic bright spot! You should run a contest, have your fellow hubbers post what they think is the most ridiculous question...and see which one is the funniest! Everyone wins, because we will all be laughing. This is a great hub, voted up, funny and awesome. THANK YOU for your tremendous creativity in answer to these hilarious Google searches! Blessings always, Sparklea :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lea, truthfully, I enjoy writing these as much as everyone seems to enjoy reading them. Bev and I laughed like crazy last night when I read this to her. I'm so glad you had fun with it. Now stay dry this next week. I promise that spring is on the way. It is beautiful here by the way. :)

      blessings always dear friend

      bill

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 3 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Oh I love the silly; thanks for the laughs!

    • Ann1Az2 profile image

      Ann1Az2 3 years ago from Orange, Texas

      I like your funny side, Bill! Now I know one of the reasons why your wife stays married to you - what fun is life if you don't have a sense of humor. Afterall, God does. If you don't believe that, look at the aardvark!

      This was hilarious!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      My pleasure, Jackie! Thanks for stopping by for a giggle or two.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      LOL...Ann, I'll be laughing about the aardvark the rest of the day. Thanks for that great chuckle.

    • Sparklea profile image

      Sparklea 3 years ago from Upstate New York

      Yes, Billybuc, Spring is a struggle here. Low tonight with the rain is 39 degrees.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Brrr, Lea! Stay warm and good luck. :)

    • Suzanne Day profile image

      Suzanne Day 3 years ago from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

      Total cracker, made my morning! Definitely more please and voted funny, up and shared ;)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      So happy I could entertain you, Suzanne. Have a great day my friend.

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      MizBejabbers 3 years ago

      Your humor is hilarious! OK, OK, that goes without saying. Don’t wait so long to write another one because I need more laughs in my life because I spend my days editing bills for the state legislature. Well maybe I don’t need more humor because I spend my days editing bills for the state legislature.

      Hey, the person who asked “how do you spell a word” sounds like Mr. B. He is an electrical engineer and can’t even spell “cat”. I don’t think he could have graduated college if he hadn’t gone to the University of Tokyo where they write in Congee. He just recently got texting because I found him a phone that he could talk the text into. Really! (But, dang, he can cook!)

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      One of my favorite things in the world is the Google autofill. It does more than read my mind; it plants very unfortunate ideas. Funny hub, Bill! I love funny!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 3 years ago from California

      Big Guffaw!! Entertaining write Bill---

    • Kathleen Odenthal profile image

      Kathleen Odenthal Romano 3 years ago from Bayonne, New Jersey

      Bill you seem to know exactly what hubs I need to read and they always pop up just when I need them! Thank you for putting a smile on my face on this gloomy day!

    • profile image

      ocfireflies 3 years ago

      How do you define funny? See this hub!

      SMILES!

      Kim

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      MizB, your comment is funnier than the hub. Bev has one of those phones that you talk into....way too funny! And your line about the state legislature...you took the words right out of my mouth. Thank you!

    • profile image

      sheilamyers 3 years ago

      LOLSHIFOOMC! What's that you ask? Laughing out loud so hard I fall out of my chair! And it hurt darn it! This is one of those hubs for which "way beyond hilarious" should be one of the choices. Thanks for a hardy laugh for the day. I do hope you write more of these.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Flourish, thank you so much. I'm glad I could provide a little humor for you today.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks Audrey! I had fun writing this one.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kathleen, I really appreciate you being here. Thank you and I'm glad I gave you a smile.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so much, Kim! Have a great evening.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 3 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Absolutely enjoy this. Keep them coming Bill. Passing this on.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Awww, thanks, Sheila! I hate to tell people, but I laugh that hard while I'm writing them. LOL

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you for sharing, Rasma! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    • Jeannieinabottle profile image

      Jeannie InABottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD

      Hooray! The Google search series is back by popular demand. This made my day. Thank you! Voted up!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You are very welcome, Jeannie. Thank you for requesting it.

    • Kathleen Cochran profile image

      Kathleen Cochran 3 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Paid homage to you in my most recent hub. Anticipating you finding it!

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

      LOL! great to see these back Bill! I loved the pink eye, scabies, and ringworm! how funny!

    • mariexotoni profile image

      mariexotoni 3 years ago

      This is fun. I love this. Every. single. word.

    • bdegiulio profile image

      Bill De Giulio 3 years ago from Massachusetts

      Amazing. It really is hilarious what some folks search for on the internet. By all means keep this one going.

    • B. Leekley profile image

      Brian Leekley 3 years ago from Kalamazoo, Michigan, USA

      Your hub got me curious, so I gave it a try. In a few minutes I found these search queries that perplexed or intrigued me: 1. How do you add music to a vine? 2. How do you dance at prom? 3. How do you pronounce eilidh? 4. How do you eiffel tower? 5. How do you elope? Maybe someday I'll look up the answers. For now I'm guessing: 1. With clothes pins. 2. As if no one were watching. 3. No one can; it's a trick question. 4. Walk up and jump down. 5. My parents did it 80-some years ago by asking a couple of friends to be witnesses, driving from Minneapolis to a small town in Iowa, waking up a Justice of the Peace, and following his instructions as to what to say, sign, and pay to get officially married. They knew the relevant MN and IA state laws and the fastest, simplest way to get the wedding done.

      I love this hub series. It's a hoot. Please double or triple how often you do another.

      I do disagree re school bonds. Public schools get worse, not better, when they are ignored and neglected by the citizens in a school district -- and, worse, by some undermined.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      LOL, Bill, boy did I need a good laugh tonight, and you did not disappoint. We have had terrible storms here in my state with tornadoes and loss of life. We are safe, but more storms tonight.

      Thank you for the smiles.

      Blessings always

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kathleen, thank you. I will head there now.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Nell! It was fun doing it again.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Well Marie, thank you and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks Bill. I'm glad it was well-received after taking a year off. LOL

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks Brian. I'm glad you found some of your own. Regarding the school bonds, it was all in fun. I would certainly hope no one takes me seriously in these hubs.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Faith, stay safe my friend and I'm saying a prayer for you and for all. Scary stuff for sure.

      blessings and a hug

      bill

    • Hackslap profile image

      Harry 3 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      hahaha . I cracked up laughing reading this! .. It is true though people can get curious re practically anything and everything under the sun

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Thanks for such an entertaining way to end my day, Bill! I appreciate it.

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 3 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      Well, I think these questions are just fine. What's wrong with all you people?????

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 3 years ago from New Delhi, India

      A very entertaining hub indeed! And you conveyed a great message in a jovial way. I think we have become too much dependent on ready to use information that sometimes when we must be exercising our brains, we don't do that.

      May be good for grown ups but not good enough for kids.

      Thanks billybuc, for another enlightening hub!

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      People look for the weirdest things!

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      This gave me a good laugh today Bill. I had only just discovered some of your old hubs in this series and love them. Have you thought, now that you have written an article with these questions in it, that if people do a Google search for say, "How do you spell a word?" that your hub will come up in the search? Just a thought.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Wow! This is the first I have read in your funny series and it tickles me. How do I keep from laughing?

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      ROFLMAO......."Scabies"...........LMAO........OMG! HELP! I have 4 Scabies.....and 12 GRAND Scabies! Bill, I must be terminal!!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Hackslap, I'm so glad you enjoyed this silliness. Thanks for the visit.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Alicia, it was my pleasure. It was fun to have fun. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Audrey, I know, right? Nothing strange at all. LOL

      Thank you dear friend.

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      ChitrangadaSharan, thank you for stopping by. I hope you enjoyed my silliness.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      They really do, Michelle! They never fail to entertain me. Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      John, if that happens then my earnings increase, right? Yes, I have thought of it and yes, I would be quite pleased. :) Thanks my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dora, I'm glad you enjoyed this. I always have fun with this series.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      LOL...Paula, I'd forgotten about the grand scabies. LMAO....way too funny, Sis!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

      OMG, I LMSO, so funny! Where has your humor been hiding? I love this. Please write more in this series. Smiling BIG time...

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ruby, thank you so much. I have been hiding my humor of late. I guess I need to do this more often judging from the response. Have a wonderful day my friend.

    • timorous profile image

      timorous 3 years ago from Me to You

      Heheh...good one Bill. If Google wasn't able to cough up the most popular searches with each keystroke, you probably wouldn't find these. The amazing thing is, the Google algorithm is so smart, it can deduce what these people want to know, with only a few words.

      I'll bet the search results for How Do You Say In Spanish brings up lots of sites about Spanish language courses. In the How Do You Spell a Word, you'd get a list of online dictionaries. I guess they couldn't spell 'dictionary'... :)

      By the way, the Johnny Carson bit was The Amazing Carnac, not Kreskin. Kreskin is a real person, though one with a special gift.

      Thanks again for the laughs.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Darn it, timorous....you are right! How did I forget that it was Carnac? Thanks!

    • vkwok profile image

      Victor W. Kwok 3 years ago from Hawaii

      There's a search for everything. Thanks for sharing, Bill!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you vkwok!

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 3 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Thank you Lizzy for your suggestion! I've missed these Google Search hubs...I love searching on Google for random things, who knows maybe one of my questions will make the cut one day! Thanks for the giggles, Bill! :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Linda, I appreciate you stopping by. I have loads of fun doing these. Makes me wonder what took me so long to get to them again.

    • DzyMsLizzy profile image

      Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

      Hilarious! I came across one such search as a pre-determined title to address on another writing site: "How to(sic) you fix a golf cart?"

      Well..it would help to know WHAT IS WRONG with the thing for starters.....

      Voted up & funny

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lizzy, I love it! How do you fix a golf cart? LOL Hell, just buy a new one. :) Thanks for the laugh my friend.

    • grand old lady profile image

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 3 years ago from Philippines

      This is hilarious. Can't believe there were some people searching on these things. Well, we live in an interesting world, but it's our world, and I love it. Great hub!

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

      Oh yes this was hilarious billy and three cheers to you. One of my firm favourites and thank you for sharing.

      Eddy.

    • Anna Haven profile image

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Funny and showcases your diverse talents. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      grand old lady, I'm so glad you found this funny. Thank you and yes, we live in an interesting world for sure.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Welcome back, Eddy. So glad you enjoyed this.

      billy

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so much, Anna!

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 3 years ago from South Africa

      Hilarious! Thanks for making me laugh, Billy!

      How Do You Do, is all I really want to know -:)

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nx2iLOvP0rM

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Martie. I'm so glad you enjoyed this fun write.

    • BigBlue54 profile image

      BigBlue54 3 years ago from Hull, East Yorkshire

      Nice to see someone with the same sense of humour Bill.

      I found your hub very funny but at the same time somewhat depressing that these people are out there. In the past natural predation, eaten by wild animals, falling out of trees et cetera, would have eliminated these people from the gene pool. Now we have to herd them all together in Walmart.

      And it's everywhere. Whilst sat here typing I can see red squiggly lines under predation and et cetera. It's not that I have misspelt them, it is just that the spell checker does not know them. Ye Gods it has even underlined misspelt.

      Bill please post another Hub. I am off for a rest in a darkened room. :D

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      BigBlue (Peter?) so nice of you to follow me. I did quite a few of these awhile back, but for whatever reason stopped doing them. Perhaps they depressed me and I could no longer face the insanity. :) I will try to do another soon my new friend. Thank you and rest well in the darkened room.

    • heidithorne profile image

      Heidi Thorne 3 years ago from Chicago Area

      Can't remember if I commented here yet or not. (Bunch of appointments this week!) But this is awesome. Voted up and sharing, of course!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Heidi! I have great fun writing these.

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 3 years ago from Florida

      What would we do without Mr. Google? I got sick after eating out the other night. Throwing up, etc.etc. I googled to find the cause. I just asked "what would make my stomach hurt badly?" You would not believe the info I got!

      Voted UP etc.etc.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mary, there is a hub in that search for sure. I'll have to do that Google search now. LOL Thank you!

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 3 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Just the sort of read I needed to perk up my sluggish mind this morning, Bill. Thank you, and have a wonderful day my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Rajan! I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

    • BigBlue54 profile image

      BigBlue54 3 years ago from Hull, East Yorkshire

      Watched a video of a young woman on Facebook and she was asking if dogs have brains? She's one of those whose bust size is bigger then her IQ, by a factor of ten I would say.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      LOL.....I would be more than happy to do a study on that young lady...purely a scientific study of course.

    • Michael-Milec profile image

      Michael-Milec 3 years ago

      Hello Bill.

      Convergent thinking, isn't it ? A guideline for insenity or craziness not longer in use and is now considered offensive, ( stupidity ). Though practical all but one : once you " fall in love", you are doomed for life if do not come out of it on your own.

      Do many care for logic anymore?- good luck. A luck doesn't exists and a logic suffers constant changes.

      (( No speaking very much English; acceptable only around a small circle of friends . Ahh. ))

      Voted funny and interesting .

      Have a very prosperous weekend my friend.

      mchEL.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Michael my friend, I worry that many out there cannot even spell logic, let alone know what it means or use it. We have a whole new generation that is completely dependent upon the computer for everything, and I find that frightening.

      Blessings to you and yours this weekend!

      bill

    • BigBlue54 profile image

      BigBlue54 3 years ago from Hull, East Yorkshire

      Bill you may find that by turning the sound off you could carry out you study without distraction. :D

      She claimed that dogs are evil and not one of gods creatures. Oh and dogs have attacked her three times. Everyone's a critic.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      LOL...it would appear that the dogs are good judges of character. :)

    • BigBlue54 profile image

      BigBlue54 3 years ago from Hull, East Yorkshire

      Not only a good judge of character but anyone of them has a higher IQ.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Very true! :)

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 3 years ago from Minnesota

      What a great way to get my laugh on for the day. Loved the silly questions people searched for on Google and how you dealt with them. Love that Best Buy video from Saturday Night Live. Too funny. Have a great week my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Twin, thank you so much. You know how much I love it when you visit. Let's do it again soon. :)

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Incredible isn't it? So true and unbelievable at times.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      It really is, DDE. Thank you for stopping by.

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 3 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      The entertainment value was right up there. Thanks for the silly chuckles.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Glad you enjoyed it, Deb. Thank you!

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 2 years ago from SW England

      Hilarious, bill! Thanks for the laugh on this Saturday eve.

      Ann

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Ann! I had great fun writing that one.

      I hope your weekend is progressing nicely.

      bill

    • grand old lady profile image

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 2 years ago from Philippines

      Very interesting and your comments on the search words are sooo funny. This is something everyone should try, just for the fun of it. Thanks for my morning laughter, Bill:)

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 2 years ago from SW England

      Yes, thanks, great weekend. Just finished doing a 5km walk for 'Cancer Research' - 50 mins in the sunshine - lovely!

      Ann

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Mona. It's just my silliness coming out occasionally. We writers have to have fun now and then, right?

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lovely indeed, Ann. I'm glad you were able to get out for that great cause. Have a wonderful Sunday.

      bill

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 2 years ago from sunny Florida

      There are really some crazy, outlandish, outrageous search questions on google and I am laughing my head off right now.

      The reason being is if you only knew....I probably have googled some of those questions that would make you wonder...whazup with her... Hee hee

      Love this Bill.

      Keep on keeping on.

      Hugs and all to you and yours....Feel those feathery friends on the way to you all this morning ps

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Good morning PS! You found an oldie here, but I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's fun to just laugh over silliness from time to time, isn't it?

      The angels have arrived, I've given them the hugs and blessings, and they are heading back your way.

      bill

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