blue bum thread from last night
Which men here have suffered from Blue Bum, and how long did it last?
Which men here have suffered from Blue Bum, and how long did it last? in the HubPages Travel and Places Forum
Revised while proofreading so um.... have you had Blue Bum?
huh? sorry didn't honestly read hub
See results without voting
What is and how do men get Blue Bum?
Blue Bum is the most common, and clearly the most embarrassing condition every male MHC member risks getting.
While there are priority cautions, one should use with the Mile High Club membership, Blue Bum is the most commonly forgotten disadvantage. Because airplane bathrooms are not designed for more than one person, finding a comfortable position for two isn't easy. The position most commonly used is for the man to sit on the toilet while his partner sits on his lap. See above. (Note to HP staff, THIS IS NOT TO BE SUGGESTIVE OF ANY ADULT CONTENT).
Then, because of turbulence, the 'flush' button is accidentally hit repeatedly. Repeatedly causing the man's bum to be suctioned into the toilet. Again. And again. And again. And again. This by itself would only cause redness and an awkward indentation in the shape of a toilet seat. Not so bad by itself. But, you ask, where does the blue part come in? You know that blue stuff they put into airplane toilet water to sanitize it? That gets sprayed over and over and over again onto said bum, causing a blue stain that stays for precisely 6 weeks. To date no one has yet to find a solution for removing the Blue Bum stain.
If you were not sharing the lavatory with your wife, this can obviously cause a problem. Hence the warning. Our only suggested solutions come from previous situations of this nature:
A - Go on a very long business trip
B - Get a six week headache
C - Fight for 6 weeks constantly
D - Never be in the mood therefore never remove your underwear (even if it's the same pair for 6 weeks)
E - Drop your pants, drop your underwear and shake your booty like you just don't care, and laugh as you tell your wife 'look what the guys at the office did to me now' (Warning: practice this thoroughly in the mirror before executing).
F - If your wife knows what Blue Bum is, then it's fair game.
G - Just confess, and get on a flight. Now. No, Now! GO! NOW!!
In conclusion, there is one bonus that comes from this: You'll never do it again. Right. Isn't that just like a man. Oh, and don't wear white pants.
Blue Bum is not to be taken lightly. It is truly a pain in the ass. To date, we have never seen a case of female Blue Bum, although female Blue Hair and Face has been observed. (HP staff, referring to hair colour and makeup only).
All of this we stipulate in our Membership rules. We strongly recommend you read the rules again to avoid any damage to loved ones. Within our rulebook many suggestions are made for step by step Two Person Lavatory Conversations.