Cyber-bullying or hubpages "fun" - how to respond?

1. 86

   LauraGTposted 12 years ago

   I'm a little puzzled on how to respond to some of the comments I've been getting from my hub about president Obama's support of gay marriage. If you scroll to the bottom, you'll seem some "she must be gay" comments.
   
   http://lauragt.hubpages.com/hub/How-Pre … in-America
   
   While I'm not super-surprised that some people have responded negatively, I seem to have a spammer stalker who not only is posting lots of posts there, but has found some completely unrelated posts (like this one on bran flaxseed muffins)
   http://lauragt.hubpages.com/hub/Bobs-Re … fin-Recipe).
   
   The commenter said,
   
   Be careful with the flaxseed meal. LauraGT mentioned to me that she never had the gayness until the flaxseed
   
   I feel a little bit like I'm being cyber-bullied or at least cyber-stalked!  The person is commenting as a "guest" user, so I can't really respond to him/her behind the scenes.  It's not particularly harmful stuff, but if it's humor it's just infantile and silly.
   
   Anyway, would you deny these comments?  Respond?  What do you think the intent of the commenter(s) is?

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   1. 73

      KeithTaxposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I had the same problem about a year ago. The best way to handle such idiots is to delete their comments unposted. They get sick of their game when they get no feedback. They get off on seeing their garbage post and your reaction.

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   2. 80

      Uninvited Writerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Just don't post them and he will go away... I'll bet you anything that "barb" is a male hubber...

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   3. 80

      Dale Hydeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Actually, this is the reason I posted my article of support for this recent development of gay marriage off site, on my own site. I have FULL control there including banning the IP address.

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   4. 89

      Cardisaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Hey Laura, I only allow comments I am comfortable with. Anything that seems insulting or similar to the ones you have been getting, I deny those, It's totally up to you though. There was a time I used to approve the comment and make reply with something like "I am approving this comment so others can see who you really are." That seem to work.

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2. 0

   EmpressFelicityposted 12 years ago

   How to deal with idiots:
   
   1. Set your comments so that you have to moderate them before they become public.
   
   2. Delete and/or mark as spam all comments from said idiots. Do not respond to them.
   
   3. Err...
   
   4. That's it.

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   1. 85

      Marisa Wrightposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I agree.

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3. 69

   BJCposted 12 years ago

   The comments are mean and it is a form of bullying.  I don't support gay marriage but bullying is bullying and I'm sorry this is happening.  You have well written articles.

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   1. 86

      LauraGTposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your support BJC! 
      
      I hate to deny any comments because I really do value an open dialog, but these comments are just silly and immature!

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      1. 69

         BJCposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         You're welcome and although we can't control what other people do, we have to take the high road.  A lot of it is ignorance - keep on!

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4. 83

   psycheskinnerposted 11 years ago

   Deny the comments, the they will go annoy someone else instead.

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   1. 91

      Jean Bakulaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I get oddball comments from guest visitors too, every now and then. So far it hasn't gotten to a point where I felt it should be reported.  I just don't approve them. I agree some people just want attention, or have nothing better to do. I have also discussed gay marriage in a positive, Civil Rights way, so am expecting some backlash about it. Hang in there, don't let anyone get to you.

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5. 0

   mts1098posted 11 years ago

   I got a comment from a guest user that was a bit stronger verbally then I expected but I did approve the comment because of the correction this particular user made to the wording I'm my hub.

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6. 0

   Arlene V. Pomaposted 11 years ago

   I feel for you!  I received a rant last week from a "guest."  The week before I received a "You are a moron," from another guest.  It has always been my belief that a Hub showcases the talent of the writer.  Comments can be a blessing if they are upbeat and supportive.  Sure, in my case, I understood the first critic's POV and his anger, but since he had to be a jerk about it, I didn't want to post his negativity on the same page as my Hub.  As for the second critic--why answer to childish name calling???  Don't question a reader's negative behavior.  Don't analyze whether he is bullying or stalking you.  One of the luxuries on HubPages is that delete key.  Use it and forget about this rude individual.  And that goes for any crap sent your way from anyone that has hurt your feelings, made you uneasy or is clearly meant as a dig.  I know this experience is hurtful and unwanted, but it's not like you're dealing with friends and family.  Don't let this unknown individual take your power away!  Delete away, forget about him and return to your writing!  Isn't that what writers do?
   
   More power to you, Laura!

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7. 84

   rebekahELLEposted 11 years ago

   I delete bonehead posts. This isn't YouTube. Use your deny and delete forever button when necessary!

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   1. 86

      LauraGTposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for the comments and advice everyone.  One thing I find interesting is that the "guest" users are most likely hubbers.  In the case of my Obama post, my stats show that all views so far have been from hubpages. I know it's possible that some from another source have not been picked up, but it seems more likely that a hubber logged in as a guest simply to make mean comments anonymously.  Oh well, I guess even in some supportive communities there have to be some "boneheads."

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8. 77

   Greekgeekposted 11 years ago

   This is why I haven't made a hub on the topic. It wrenches my stomach every time I tiptoe into one of the threads here about it; I feel like I am not welcome on Hubpages!  I can't imagine dealing with a string of such comments on my dashboard. But on the other hand, there's that whole Silence = Death issue, so bravo to you for putting on the flak jacket and stating your opinion.
   
   I will defer to the wise advise of others here as far as how much of the insulting comments to allow.
   
   On the one hand, they're distressing, and on the other, your other commenters will probably rebut them if you chose to let them be visible. (I left some pretty nasty comments on my Pinterest article, because it tended to undercut the commenter's argument).
   
   It's your article, so it's completely your choice what you feel is a constructive comment: you're the moderator and set the ground rules as you like.
   
   But if the person is stalking you and posting homophobic comments on totally unrelated articles, forget it. Mark as spam and / or delete.

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   1. 86

      LauraGTposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Greekgeek: Yes, that's pretty much what I've decided to do. I hate to delete any comments as I really do want a dialog going, but if it's just plain ridiculous (like talking about how flaxseed meal goes through the breastmilk to make kids gay - yes, this was a comment I deleted on a breastfeeding hub), it seems like it's not worth keeping! 
      
      Thanks for your support!

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9. 76

   Mighty Momposted 11 years ago

   On the plus side, your writing has obviously been persuasive and powerful enough to move someone to action.
   
   
   I totally understand the range of emotions that come with a hate-filled comment. It's a personal assault, yet we feel somehow that we are obligated to include it on our hub in the spirit of .... open debate.
   Forget that sh$t.
   The person leaving these comments is both a bully and a coward (oh wait they are the same thing)!
   They're not worthy of your time or your other visitors' time.
   MM

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10. 0

    Arlene V. Pomaposted 11 years ago

    I really don't care for comments from "visitors," nor do I care to know where they come from.  I have no doubt they can come from this site because I do comment on a lot of Hubs.  I don't agree with some Hubs written, but there are so-called authors out there who take offense and will go as far as to call you ignorant or condescending just because you don't agree with their writing.  Which is truly a sign of a writer who has yet to obtain thick skin.  In the 11 months I've been here, two visitors wanted to sell shoes on my Hubs.  The other two visitors left very angry rants.  If the ranters had offered constructive criticism and expressed themselves well, I would have left the comments.  I won't answer to crap in the name of getting a debate going.  You can get a debate going on the Forum anytime, and you can be civil about it because inappropriate behavior stands out.  You can be ignored or banned.  For any reason, don't let any twit take away from your writing.  Delete, delete, delete!

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