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Best Answer Cathy says
I can see helping a parent with the younger children once and a while. However, within some of my extended family, I have witnessed parents doing nothing while the oldest/older child DOES EVERYTHING. My third maternal aunt for example!
Sasha Kim says
Mom Kat says
This is so unfair to the oldest/older children in the family. It is my opinion that if a parent has the child, than HE/SHE should raise them, not the oldest child. If the parents are unable to raise the child/children, THEY should not have them!
Older children helping does not equate to them raising the child/children. Now, if the parents made the older siblings meal plan, cook, clean, bathe the children, dress the children, discipline, etc. - that's raising them.
I think it sounds like you have a perfect balance in your family. I bet it's a fun family, and that you're all close and have deep love and respect for each other. I have 3 young ones, and I try to give them little responsibilities whenever I can.
Parents forget that the younger children will not have the same responsibility. If you nee dolder children to watch younger ones, you do not need so many kids. Psychologists strongly disagree with children being put into adult roles.
Amanda, you are so correct. That is why oldest/older children in large to very large families resent both their parents and younger siblings for stealing and usurping their childhoods and adolescence. That is tantamount to child abuse! Spot-on!
I know this is old,. but it seems wrong to use the younger kids as learning tools. Plenty of people figured out childcare on own their own. I call it the older sibling syndrome. And like I said, how will the younger ones learn?
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TR Smith says
There is a difference in helping with chores and putting a great burden on older kids. Older kids are still growing themselves.
Amanda, the average parent of a large to very large family have their oldest/older children raise the younger ones. It is de rigueur in large to very large families. These parents just do not care- they view their oldest/older children as servant
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Kassi Garcia says
H C Palting says
My Minds Eye53 says
I am with you on this, mymindseye53!
I would be so pissed if someone put me in a situation like that! I'm glad you called the police. I used to make the same points you mentioned in the first paragraph to my own mother. She would even turn her phone off while she was out! grr...
After it was over and the baby was all right, I was shaking like a leaf and even cried. I may have even had a nightmare or two. I can't imagine taking someone else's life let alone a baby's, even accidentally.
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