O.M.G.

1. 82

   Rafiniposted 13 years ago

   I just embarrassed myself almost as far as a person can embarrass themselves.  
   
   This semester I'm taking another speech class, not because I want to be a great public speaker.  No, because I want to increase my confidence. lol  Shows what I know.  
   
   Today I gave my first speech.  An introductory speech.  Introducing myself to the rest of the class.  "Tell something interesting about yourself."  There is absolutely nothing interesting about me that anyone would want to know!!  So...what did I choose to discuss?  I thought I'd go with my choice to get married and have a family before going to college.  (I'm sure I could have made it to college back then, had I known the steps, procedures or had support)  Anyway....
   
   I didn't even finish my first short sentence before I started crying!  I had no trouble when writing my speech.  Not one bit.  I had no trouble when I read my speech out loud, after writing it.  Not one bit.  I had no trouble when I practiced my speech this morning, in the car before I went in to the school.  Not one bit! 
   
   I feel like such an idiot!!  lol  I stuck around after class and talked with the instructor a little, and told her this was the reason I was taking the class.  And because I'd like to be able to speak up, in other classes and as needed.  I'm hoping and praying the rest of my speeches won't have the same effect on me....course, they'll be a different subject.  
   
   I'm just having a little trouble getting these d@mn tears to stop - every time I think about it, I cry a little more.
   
   EDIT:  Thanks for moving this to the right forum - this is one I've never been in before, and didn't even know it existed!

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   1. 63

      Greek Oneposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      If I were you, my next speech would be on "The Therapeutic Nature of Crying"
      
      That way, if you start tearing, they will think that it is part of the presentation.
      
      When you're done, make it into a hub and make some cash off of it too.

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      1. 82

         Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         lol  I like your thinking!

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      2. 61

         prettydarkhorseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Hi Rafini, I bet that was a good speech, it just shows how important that dream of yours to go to college and family. There is nothing to be embarrass about it, if I am in your class I will be drawn towards you and will talk to you more.
         Smile and HUGS!!!
         
         And sometimes if I look back in my life and think about things that mattered to me, and could have been sort of things, there's a lump in my throat.. it takes courage to look back and do something about it, maybe it is a healing process
         
         and Greek , you're funny,

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         1. 82

            Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Yeah, there was one young woman who did approach me, and said not to regret my decisions, and she appreciated my speech because the message of choices was loud and clear. She said all the younger people in the class could learn something from it, about choices.

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            1. 61

               prettydarkhorseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               See, your speech helps others about their choices, they will surely listen and wait for your next speech. Congratulations BTW, you did well in your first speech in the class!

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               1. 82

                  Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  Thanks.   I just feel so silly about it, I think it's funny, too, but I sure feel silly.   You guys just should have seen everyone's shocked faces when I started to cry, lol, and then told them to try and not pay attention to it! 
                  
                  I was really rather amazed at the guy who gave his speech after mine, he did a wonderful job - very animated and, as far as I could tell, he did everything right.  (and actually there were two good speakers, so far, in this class)

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      3. 90

         Rochelle Frankposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         You know, that's not a bad idea. It might also send a message that you have a sense of humor about what happened. We all have similar moments.

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         1. 82

            Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            You're right.  It's a very good idea, one I'll seriously consider.  (Thanks Greek One!!)

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   2. 0

      Richard Stephenposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Rafini,
      
      Yes, but you did it which, as I understand your post, was your goal.  You got up in front of all those people and did it!  Congratulations!  Speaking in public always ranks high in polls of the things that scare people most.  You're not alone.  Each time you do give a speech it will become a little easier.  Like prettydarkhorse said, people will be drawn to your vulnerability.  Keep at it!

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      1. 82

         Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks Richard.  You're right.  I accomplished my goal for this speech.  Yeah!  One down, 5 to go. 

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   3. 74

      lorlie6posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I'm a big crier myself, Rafini, and I admire your courage taking the class!  If you're anything like me, you felt pretty vulnerable up there, but that's exactly what the class is all about.
      Keep it up and keep us informed!

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      1. 82

         Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         lol, actually, I have no idea what I was feeling other than a nervous calm.   I shook my arms out and joked about how I was 'shaking off the nerves', but it didn't seem to help. lol  The other 5 speeches wont be of a personal nature, so I expect they'll be easier.  At least I hope so! 

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   4. 71

      mythbusterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      If you are a public speaker then you know that the audience accepts much more than we/you think they will right?
      
      (I also do public speaking - 5yrs and counting)
      
      Peoples' fear of public speaking is largely individual fears of being looked at, saying things the wrong way, forgetting something we wanted to say...
      
      But an audience GIVES AUTHORITY OVER to the speaker as soon as the speaker steps front and centre, to the microphone or similar speaking area... it's a commonly understood protocol of a general public that when someone sets themselves up front and centre, the audience is respectful (unless, of course, the "event" determines that the speaker/audience relationship is one of conflict, say - at a protest event)...
      
      If you ask those in the audience about your event, many will probably say that your tears brought them toward empathy for you - not any critical, or barely any negative thoughts if there were any negative thoughts at all.
      
      Even if you "lost control" of your emotions, you probably didn't "lose control" of the room - because the audience rarely takes that away from a public speaker.
      
      *patting you on the back* Will you have a chance to speak with some of the audience who heard your speech?

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      1. 82

         Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I think you hit the nail on the head...the problem is within the realms of "authority" and "respect".  Issues I've struggled with all my life.  lol  I can see it now, I was too young to speak with such authority as a child, and then with my critical mouth sneaking up behind me all the time I'm sure it didn't earn me any respect among my peers.  Makes sense to me, now!  lol  Certainly didn't make sense while growing up!! 
         
         I'll see the audience again on Monday - it's a speech class for the entire semester.  (thanks for the pat )

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         1. 71

            mythbusterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            lol nothing makes much sense when growing up!
            
            Actually - with myself in mind - I'm not sure things make much sense now that I'm grown, either lol
            
            Just "wing it" and have fun with your public speaking and know that you're more brave than thousands of other people who refuse to do public speaking because it terrifies them!
            
            If you're brave enough to get out in front of people like you already do, you're certainly worth them paying attention to - and they will.
            
            Have a great time on Monday!!
            
            

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   5. 73

      sarovaiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      O.k. You made your basic speech strong either by crying or good speech. But this is the start and you realised something needs correction.So, you are going make a remarkable difference in speech coming days. That much I am sure. Be happy.

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      1. 82

         Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you.

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   6. 74

      Arthur Fontesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      
      
      You will be fine once you achieve the ability to inflect your emotions into your speech.  Words spoken with true emotion are much more effective.
      
      Brush it off, move on, and do not dwell on it. 
      
      You will succeed!

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      1. 82

         Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Words spoken with true emotion are much more effective.
         
         omg - This sounds like what I feel is missing!!  Like...my emotions are still mixed up so they come out at the wrong time and maybe even inappropriately. 
         
         Today my older son said he liked it better when I was angry than when I was sad, and I told him it was probably because I don't take my anger too seriously (unless it's about something like someone I love being hurt)  I can still laugh at myself when I'm angry but when I'm sad that's all I can feel.  
         
         This is interesting....something I need to look into a little more.  Thanks for mentioning it! 

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         1. 74

            Arthur Fontesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Your Welcome:
            
            
            You CAN do it!

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2. 69

   Cagsilposted 13 years ago

   I would think they were tears of joy and nothing more.
   
   How are tears of joy embarrassing? Guess what, they are not.

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   1. 82

      Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      That's a good way of looking at it! 
      
      (lol, just remembered, my "Specific Purpose" for this speech?  To step out of my small comfort zone, of writing, to speak the words I'd usually write)

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3. 62

   Daniel Carterposted 13 years ago

   For what it's worth, you probably endeared your audience to you quite a bit. I think I would be one of those who would have found your sincerety and conviction quite charming.
   
   As for Greek's comments, I think that's funny and a rather good idea.
   

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   1. 82

      Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Daniel.  I'll see how it goes next week.   I'm nervous to go back, but I was talking with someone else prior to class and said to her that I was there to learn what I need to learn.  I'm not concerned with learning to be an excellent public speaker - I just want to learn not to be overwhelmed when I speak up. lol

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4. 64

   Wendy Krickposted 13 years ago

   I bet you moved everyone in the room, which is what a good speaker does! There is nothing wrong about wearing your heart on your sleeve and being emotional.
   
   Plus it will all be forgotten by Monday!
   
   ~Wendy

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   1. 82

      Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I'm holding you to that!! 

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