I know alot of men who are so uncomfortable approaching a strange woman that they simply will never ask a woman out or approach someone they don't know. So they take convenient path by dating the girl who who makes things easy for them. Maybe they only date girls that approach them or people they know, yet they never really go for it and pursue the girl of their dreams. So what is your story?
It's not that I'm afraid to approach a woman, but she has to show interest on some level. She can't just pretend to be agressively uninterested and then expect me to see through that. I react to people based on what they show me. And if they show me nothing but coldness, I react accordingly. And if a woman plays hard to get, it really is such a massive turn-off that it doesnt really matter if I was interested in the first place.
I fall into that catagory. I am a very outgoing-easy-to-get along-with-and-can-carry-a-whimsical-conversation kind of guy, but when it comes to walking up and just saying hello to women, I fall short. It isn't because of anything other than this stubborn belief that women don't want to be bothered or that they will think I'm "hitting" on them (which I am in a way) OR that they probably have a BF. Most of this belief comes about because I don't really do the bar or club scene so the only places I am likely to meet a woman will be at the gym (where she often has ear buds blasting music), the grocery store (which again, seems creepy to try to meet women there), or the department store (same as before). I'll go to restraunts and if the waitress is cute I'll ask her out but I've had zero luck with that as most of them have BF's. After a while I get tired and distressed from even trying so I just smile and go about my way. Because of this, I've turned to internet dating and that works out pretty good for me in the respect that I get to meet women in the elusive search for the "one".
Bars and clubs are bad hoodoo anyway. When I was a bit younger (I'm 37, now) it seemed every woman I hit on had a bf, but I would never find this out until after we had gone somewhere and . . . well, you get the picture. And that always leads to bad things. I guess I tend to attract women who are unavailable. One time I hooked up wth this woman who swore she was totally single and so on. The next evening her boyfriend threw her out of a moving car right in on front of the bar where I was working. She came into the bar with her head bleeding and after this guy she was dating had made bail, he stalked me for about six months. SHE IS STILL WITH THIS GUY SEVEN YEARS LATER!
So, it's not so much that I'm shy, but rather guarded.
I think for men they look at approaching women this way: there is a 50/50 chance she has a boyfriend, 50/50 chance she may not be interested, and a high percentage I get humiliated with a "No" or "Oh, that's so sweet, If I didn't have a boyfriend".....the percentages are not in their favor so go with the girl who makes it easy for them.
50/50 that she has a boyfriend. but if she has a boyfriend, there's still a 50/50 chance she'll even let you find that out. If I know she is in a relationship, I steer clear of her. Which is why most women (if interested) will keep me in the dark about it or try to. I think it relates to the stereotype that women seem to feel the need to feed that men are only interested in sex. 'Boys' are only interested in sex, but with men it is much more complex.
Yeah I've dated a few too whom would admit after a couple dates they were "involved" with someone but "trying" to get out of it. I am finding that more and more women cheat now a days.
Men as well as women are not big fans of rejection. I think it's human nature for people to take the path of least resistance. Hoever contrary to the popular belief which states "Men love the chase" I suspect the man of today is looking for a woman that indicates a mutual interest in him. Too much "playing hard to get" is a turn off. In fact what was once considered "romantic" pursuing a woman with flowers, poetry, letters, and other things (to get her to go out with a man) are now considered "Stalking" or "Sexual harassment".
Today a woman has to give a "green light" before most men are willing to invest much effort.
by dashingscorpio 8 years ago
Are women aware most men only pursue women for dates that they're physically/sexually attracted to?At the end of the evening a man attempts to kiss her. She turns her head or pushes away.The man leaves after the rejection feeling used in some way and the woman is offended feeling as if the guy had...
by Tessa Schlesinger 4 years ago
Like many other women, I can add my name to the 'me too' movement. I faced sexual harassment for a good 40 years.Harvey Weinstein is far from being the only jerk that thinks his fame and fortune is reason enough to rape and harass women sexually.QUOTE: “We believe the evidence will show that the...
by Joana e Bruno 9 years ago
Why is it men don't pick up on subtle hints from women?They do, but they ignore them? They don't really listen? They don't care? Or women really have to be straight forward at the risk of injuring some of men's feelings, which usually women are trying to avoid by giving the subtle hints?
by realtalk247 9 years ago
A friend and I had a conversation pertaining to men's lack of courage when approaching a woman to date or meet. So I conducted an experiment. On a random afternoon I had a lunch at a popular crowded restaurant. On my way out I decided to prove that there is no reason to be shy or lack...
by Darrell 12 years ago
How easy is it for a woman to seduce a man who was not initially interested?Sometimes, attractive women actually target men who are married or otherwise unavailable, hoping to break through their defense. Are most men equipped to deal with this? Or would many men fall if pursued by a woman they...
by Michael Valencia 7 years ago
Do you get angry if your boyfriend/spouse looks at other women?Assuming he doesn't do it in front of you, is looking harmless? Would you want him to be honest about it if he does or keep it to himself?
Copyright © 2024 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2024 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |