Why is it men don't pick up on subtle hints from women?

1. 74

   algarveviewposted 11 years ago

   Why is it men don't pick up on subtle hints from women?
   
   They do, but they ignore them? They don't really listen? They don't care? Or women really have to be straight forward at the risk of injuring some of men's feelings, which usually women are trying to avoid by giving the subtle hints?

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2. 60

   MickSposted 11 years ago

   Why do women not just say what they want instead  of playing stupid guessing games.  The equivalent of going to John O' Groats via Land's End.

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   1. 82

      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Excellent point! Beating around the bush leaves a lot of room for conjecture. Adults shouldn't be "dropping hints" like children do with their parents! Men have no interest in "mind reading" or playing the game (What did she mean?). Cut to the chase.

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      MickSposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Sorry, I should have added that, some women are as subtle as a brick in the back of the head.

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3. 83

   karthikkashposted 11 years ago

   Haha.. Actually.. Why don't women just open their mouths and just say it straight what they want? It is so easier than guessing different possible scenarios

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4. 78

   flacoinohioposted 11 years ago

   I think it is because women like it when their man can read the subtle hints, it makes them feel special or wanted when men are attentive. Although it is not always a two way street, there are a lot of women that do not pay attention to their man, especially after they have been dating or married for awhile.  A man or a woman who stop paying attention to one another will start to miss the subtle hints especially if there are issues within the in the relationship that are unresolved.

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5. 82

   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   I think one of the reasons a lot of women prefer to "drop hints" is they want to make it seem as though the man came up with the idea on his own. You see this all of the time with marriage proposals. A woman wants to get married but rather than her asking her man to marry her she tries to find ways to (put the words in his mouth). Apparently asking for what you want is "unromantic" and the thought of being rejected is a real ego buster!
   Planting the “seed” is a (subtle) art of "manipulation".
   Another issue is if a woman asks for what she wants and gets it there remains a "sour taste" in her mouth because she feels she should not have had to ask! She wants you to (want to do) whatever it is on your own. "I shouldn't have to ask you to blah blah!"
   My mother was one of the rare exceptions. She taught me the following. "If it ain't worth asking for then it's not worth having."

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   1. 83

      karthikkashposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I think our brains are simply wired differently, that's all Most men can think in just one way and expect people to be direct. Probably that is one reason we expect women to be straight with us instead of "dropping hints".

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6. 0

   Lybrahposted 11 years ago

   I guess that maybe the men are not interested, and therefore they will ignore them.  A man who is interested usually makes that known.  It's frustrating for us females sometimes because it feels like we have no control.

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   1. 82

      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      A woman has control by asking for what she wants. Having to (wait around) and (guess) if her man is on the same page makes her powerless. Whether the answer is yes or no you are then free to decide if it's a "deal breaker" or not. Direct saves time!

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7. 71

   getitriteposted 11 years ago

   Most men have made a move on a woman when he was just SURE that she was sending him hints, just to find himself in a very awkward position when she says "Oh I'm so sorry I didn't mean for you to take anything I said to mean that I wanted to be with you in that way, sorry"   .......It's mortifying!
   
   After that, some men prefer to READ nothing into what a woman says, and just take it for face value.  That goes for actions as well.  Maybe a girl walks her dog pass your house everyday, because she simply likes walking her dog, not because she has a crush on you...or maybe she does.

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8. 58

   RelentlessWriterposted 11 years ago

   This answer depends on the situation. If you are a female and you are dropping hints to a guy and he isn't acting on them then he is either: A) Not good with women or reading people in general and the girl is going to have to be more forward. B) He isn't interested, so he isn't "listening" and there for he doesn't "care". C) He thinks it is too good to be true that a woman like yourself would be showing interest in him. So he has self-doubt about it and second guesses the hints that were dropped and is too nervous to act on them.

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      William Robbposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Lol just thought are they trying to drop hints when footballs on talk about an automatic fail lol

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9. 37

   edhanposted 11 years ago

   I always believe in direct approach.
   
   Sometimes subtle hints can be misleading as getting a wrong interpretation. So, it is always wise to be direct about it. I believe we can take the hurts.

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10. 57

    Anurag Silswalposted 11 years ago

    Thats why he is a man
    Maturity at some level and kiddish also sometimes.
    Sometimes you have to actually say what you want rather than giving hints to him.

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    1. 58

       Marcus99posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       A little bit of me just died inside with that answer.

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    2. 57

       Anurag Silswalposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Oh thats Bad!
       lame!

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11. 80

    Rfordinposted 11 years ago

    Men take a question or phrase at face value and move on. Women tend to analyze and surmise there own "stories" from the information presented. Since woman are capable of "catching a hint" we think men should be too.... not so much.
    
    When speaking with a man be as straight forward as possible.....if they do try and "read between the lines" chances are it will be a totally different inturpertation of what you were trying to say in the first place.
    
    Ehhh they are just wired that way.....

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    1. 60

       William Robbposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       Good answer i intended to say pretty much the same.
       Men just dont get subtle hints maybe even any subtlety, thats a generalisation ofcourse but true enough.
       I dont know many men but i know i am very logical.

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12. 60

    tirelesstravelerposted 11 years ago

    My husband told me years ago he was not a mind reader.  I took him at his word. I tell him what I want.

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    1. 58

       Marcus99posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Dang. I was just going to answer this thread with that gem. Dang, and double dang.

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13. 86

    Ayu Biposted 10 years ago

    I think they get it but they ignore them for well, all sorts of reasons.

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14. 61

    DubstepMakerposted 10 years ago

    Because women are always playing these weird mind games and living in some fantasy world that is totally relationship focused and then they expect men to exist in the same psychological realm as them, when honestly, men just want a women who is loving and supportive and doesn't constantly nag us with all this emotional relationship stuff.
    
    Be that for your man, without demanding anything in return, and you will have a man that is totally tuned into you and showers you with love.

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15. 75

    Bruce A. Beaudetposted 10 years ago

    Because the hint is subtle. It is a widely held view among hinting experts that when subtlety is added, it ceases to be a hint.   Ok, I just made that up.
    
    The premise of your question assumes that men don't get it.  Perhaps,
    some women rely on hinting because they lack assertiveness?  So, is the issue that some men don't get it or some women aren't assertive?  It's probably a bit of both.

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16. 60

    Danweposted 10 years ago

    Are men blind? Do they see these hints and choose to ignore them? Why is it that women understand each other and men don't have a clue? read more

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17. 60

    Penny Gposted 9 years ago

    It just seems that woman are so much more in tune to their surroundings. No I think their are some things written about this.

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