SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!

1. 83

   Zsuzsy Beeposted 14 years ago

   Just in the name of fun!!!!!! While I was trying to clean up some stuff off my computer I came across these. A couple of them made me smile even though they're probably as old as the hills. So it being Friday morning and with the pain of having to still get through the whoooole looong workday I thought I would try to cheer everyone up a bit--->the weekend's coming...honest
    
   Q:What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
   A:Juan on Juan
   
   Q:What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
   A:The position of the dirt bag
   
   Q:Why is divorce so expensive?
   A:Because it's worth it
   
   Q:What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
   A:Doughnuts
   
   Q:What do attorneys use for birth control?
   A:Their personalities.
   
   Q:Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
   A:Because those men already have boyfriends.
   
   Q:Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
   A:Because they have cotton balls.
   
   Q:What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
   A:A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
   
   Q:Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
   A:Mace will do that to you.
   
   Q:Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
   A:Breasts don't have eyes.
   
   Q:Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
   A:He walks around saying "Yo."
   
   Q:Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
   A:Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
   
   Q:Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a  baby with blonde hair?
   A:They named him "Sum Ting Wong".
   
   Q:What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
   A:A speech impediment.
   
   Q:How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
   A:Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
   
   Q:What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
   A:A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." -A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain'tgonnabelievethisshit....

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   1. 60

      Greenkiteposted 14 years agoin reply to this

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2. 60

   love my yorkiesposted 14 years ago

   hahahahahahahahahaha 

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3. 73

   Eaglekiwiposted 14 years ago

   luv ya sense of humour
   great way to start the day (an end it too)

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4. 60

   Greenkiteposted 14 years ago

   The Mike Tyson joke is solid!

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   1. 83

      Zsuzsy Beeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I thought that one funny too.

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5. 59

   James S. Thorntonposted 14 years ago

   If I were Mike Tyson, I'd be royally pissed.

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6. 0

   dennisemattposted 14 years ago

   This made my day!! I have been to bingo, most my friends call me a redneck, my husband is Italian, I have rabbits..and actually..they do make a nosie..but that was funny...cuz anything with the word balls in it is funny!!!!Thanks for this!!

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7. 72

   Enelle Lambposted 14 years ago

   Love the speech impediment LOL! Good way to start the Friday thanks for the giggle.

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8. 83

   Zsuzsy Beeposted 14 years ago

   I always believe a day goes better when it's filled with laughs or even just a half-hearted smile

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9. 75

   Anti-Valentineposted 14 years ago

   Mike Tyson cries a lot so I hear. I've seen a video compilation on TV of him crying in different places and different times.

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10. 84

    k@riposted 14 years ago

    LOLOL!  Thanks for the laughter.  These were great!   

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11. 73

    Hauntyposted 14 years ago

    What do you mean a charming personality is good for birth control?

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    1. 55

       tinkerbell09posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       If your serious, think of a lawyer's personality, would you do the sleaziest of lawyer's?  Birth control!
       
       Love the Doughboy joke.  Doughnuts anyone?!

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12. 59

    goodfriendiamposted 14 years ago

    thanks for the laughter, my mom really liked the one about bingo!

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13. 64

    Lady_Eposted 14 years ago

    Sum Tim Wong? Lol. Bless his cotton socks.

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14. 83

    Zsuzsy Beeposted 14 years ago

    Aren't these just a hoot? Oldies but funnies

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15. 60

    Leslie Hillposted 14 years ago

    LOL!  Very funny, thanks for sharing.

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16. 60

    racemels32posted 14 years ago

    you have to read my second blog then. Its sure to offend

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17. 87

    Stacie Lposted 14 years ago

    Q:Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
    A:Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
    
    now this one I will send to some ..ahem..redneck friends..

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    Mighty Momposted 14 years ago

    Amazing! No one has shown up to threaten lawsuits or flagging or being kicked off Hub Pages or anything! These must really be funny! To me they are, anyway. And I thank you from the bottom of my chuckling belly for making my day, Zsuzsy! I sooo needed the light humor.
    MM

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    1. 83

       Zsuzsy Beeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       You're right MM it is amazing that no-one has started to beef about one or the other one of these snappies.
       all my friends know that i just love these short Q&A types so they are forever e-mailing them to me.
       IMO we all need more laughter in our lives
       zs

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19. 59

    AsherKadeposted 14 years ago

    the dirt bag joke is my fav...

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    1. 83

       Zsuzsy Beeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       to be honest that is my favorite one too

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20. 62

    Jane@CMposted 14 years ago

    Ah, thanks for the good laugh!

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