Haiku #1

1. 80

   DomShadowsposted 15 years ago

   A treasure of land
   Hidden among theories
   Of mans different beliefs

   replyreport
   1. 60

      Daniel J. Neumannposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I like the poem, but I'd like to probe you on your intent. Is your poem implying that the philosophic/religious beliefs of man are inspired by their geographic location?
      
      Keep writing, my friend.

      replyreport
2. 55

   Dame Scribeposted 15 years ago

   I would think it's saying that irregardless of location, there is a belief of some sort or another going on great job, DomShadows.

   replyreport
3. 0

   china manposted 15 years ago

   Remind me again what are the precise rules for haiku ?

   replyreport
   1. 66

      Joy56posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      can you write it china man

      replyreport
   2. 76

      Uninvited Writerposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      There are actually no set rules. Basically 17 or less syllables.

      replyreport
      1. 55

         Sab Ohposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         There are a number of specific 'rules' that developed over time, but as with any art form, they are not necessarily followed. This is especially true in haiku written in English.

         replyreport
         1. 0

            china manposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            I will go look it up, I seem to remember that it must be three lines with a certain amount of syllables in each. Like a sonnet there must be flexibility but the if the basic form is bent too much it becomes something else I would say.

            replyreport
            1. 55

               Sab Ohposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               The basic form is three lines following a 5-7-5 syllable pattern. Technically, there should also be a reference to nature or the seasons, and there should be a 'turn' where the grammatical structure shifts somewhere within the haiku.

               replyreport
               1. 0

                  china manposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                  Yep - and the turn normally comes at the end of a line.  and apparently the originals always included a word that referenced the season of the poem - I like that idea

                  replyreport
4. 55

   Sab Ohposted 15 years ago

   Glad to see more haiku-ing going on 'round here!

   replyreport
5. 68

   Pearldiverposted 15 years ago

   Friends, Romans, Countrymen
   Lend me your ears
   They are wasted here!
   
   

   replyreport
   1. 76

      Uninvited Writerposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      

      replyreport
   2. 0

      china manposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Ignoring the fact that the first line has too many syllables, not a big issue - the second and third lines also do not have enough syllables and there is no turn at the end of a line - It might  be better as :
      
      Friends, Romans, Countrymen
      Lend me your ears because er
      They are wasted here!
      
      although this is not any great improvement

      replyreport