Working mothers

1. 78

   elayne001posted 14 years ago

   In your own opinion. Do you think a Busy Working Woman can be a
   good mother?
   
   With Mother's Day coming soon, how do you feel about this topic? I have always worked at least part time while my children were growing up. They all turned out pretty decent IMHO. Some feel that mothers should be home with the children. What about you?

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   1. 60

      LarasMamaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Great question. Since I have an opinion on anything baby related,  here goes:
      *I read a study that says that children whose mothers work part time are better adjusted than SAHM or Fulltime - I think because of the fact they learn to interact with others but also have the security of seeing mum regularly.
      *I have a 6 month old baby, currently working part time (2-3 days/week), doing external university course, writing a manuscript and spending the rest of my time cleaning house or writing hubs! So yes, it is possible. I'm also breastfeeding, so that is also possible.

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   2. 65

      aka-djposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Good mums are good, and not-so-good mums also, not because they work,or don't work. I think it varies from one to another.But I do think it's harder for the ones that work.
      In MHO, mums are unsung heroines (is that right spelling?) all the same.

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2. 69

   cupid51posted 14 years ago

   I had a opinion that the home-stay mothers are better for the kids, but I am impressed by the theory of LarasMama. I think I should change my opinion!

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   1. 80

      TamCorposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I don't think you should change your opinion just because of one study...there are plenty others out there with the opposing opinion!
      
      I was a SAHM--all three of my kids have distinct and very outgoing personalities, none have any problems socializing whatsoever, and they never have!
      
      I feel very strongly that kids need their moms or dads to raise them, not other people, but I've faced a lot of criticism because of that. 
      
      Oh, well!
      
      Tammy

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      1. 60

         LarasMamaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I'd stay home if I could - that's why I'm writing hubs nonstop in hopes I one day can SAH with a passive income!
         By the sounds of it your kids turned out great - but I know plenty of kids who are now 2 or 3 and their parents can't leave them with sitters because they have never been away from a parent.
         However I think as long as kids get to hang out with people other than parents they are fine.
         Luckily I only have to work a few days a week and I have a great daycare lady and my hubby & father babysit sometimes too.

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3. 80

   earnestshubposted 14 years ago

   As a male I am in awe of working moms.
   My daughter is one, but she works from home running an online business with 5 kids. My grandchildren are doing fine. The youngest are almost 5 now (twin girls) and my youngest grandson is 6.
   The family is close and we all pitch in when needed, but I still think you girls are amazing for being able to balance children with work.

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4. 65

   Ms Chievousposted 14 years ago

   Of course a working mom can be a good mother.  I am a working mom so I try to make all the time I have with my son count.  This is an age old debate  working mom's vs stay at home moms.  To tell you the truth I am somewhat jealous of those stay at home moms.  I would love to be one but not all of us have that luxary.

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   1. 80

      TamCorposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      
      
      
      I just wanted to clarify something--I did stay at home, but believe me, it wasn't because we had enough money to afford for me, too, it was just the decision that my husband and I felt very strongly about.
      
      We had to sacrifice a lot, for me to stay home while the kids were little--we didn't have a new car or new furniture, no luxuries at all.  We never went on vacations...we just took day trips with the kids as often as we could.
      
      It was worth it, though--I asked our kids if they ever had felt like they missed out on things because of our financial situation--they all three asked "What financial situation?"...lol
      
      I guess I'm just so very thankful that my husband and I were able to do this--I will never regret it.
      
      Please don't think I'm judging working moms--I'm not--I just wanted to let young moms today know that, if you're willing to give up some of the "good life", then you really can stay home, if that is where your heart is...
      
      Tammy

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      1. 0

         Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this

           good to see ya!!

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         1. 80

            TamCorposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Hi! Great to see you, too! 

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      2. 81

         Anolindeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Great reply, Tammy.  I don't think Ms Chievous meant it to sound the way it did (in the last 2 sentences), but that is probably a myth many working moms have of SAHMs .. as if what we do all day is really just literally "stay at home".  I don't have anything else better to add, but just wanted to say that we also had to sacrifice so many luxuries .. no new clothes, no overnight trips, etc.  But I'm happy with the decision I made as my daughter is a very smart, creative and loving individual.

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5. 78

   elayne001posted 14 years ago

   My own mother always wanted to work, but Dad wanted her to stay home so she did, but because she resented it, we could feel that. She cleaned the house until it was totally spotless, but didn't make breakfast - she would sleep in. My brother almost always made my breakfast before I went off to school. I guess it all depends on how the mother feels about staying home and what her priorities are. Some mothers I know would go crazy if they had to stay home all day with their kids. Others totally love being with their children and home school them and seem to find time to do everything. Not sure how they manage it. Personally, I am glad that I got to work part time and then be with my children the rest of the day. I asked them if they ever felt neglected because of my working and they said they never did. That made me feel better. Some women have to work full time just to get by. Being a mother is a difficult thing - especially the guilt you feel for anything that goes amiss.

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6. 86

   IzzyMposted 14 years ago

   I always worked through having the kids. From since the first one was a few months old  when I found that giving up full-time work to become a full-time mum was not satisfying enough for me. To be honest I was bored stiff being a full-time mum of 1.
   I returned to work p/t, working 1 or 2 nights per week after she went to bed, and I was young enough to those days to stay up the next day looking after my child until my husband came home from work.
   As more and more kids came along, my part-time work became a necessity for the family income, and eventually I went back to full-time working.
   If I had to do it all again, I'd stick with only working 1 night a week, on provision the money was for me.
   Instead I practically became the breadwinner as he worked less and less knowing that my wages paid the bills.
   The less he worked, the more I felt I had to work and the more distant I became from my family.
   Hmmm...

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7. 0

   Justine76posted 14 years ago

   Moms are Moms and its ALL hard work. Every one is different, and you cant gauge whats best for you and you chldren, by what someone else did.
   
   If you are lucky enough to have a choice between working or not, you need to sit down and figure out what's really going to work. Emotionaly, financially, etc. You can't let peer pressure effect you in something as important as how to raise your kdis.
   
   many many many women do not have the luxury of choice, and must work. Of course your still a good mother. Moms do what must be done and thats that. I hate how there is still so much fighting about working vs non-working moms. (btw I HATE this term, all moms work). And many women do have a choice, and choose to work, and by no means does this mean they are "bad" mothers. My sister in law works, her hubby stays home, its whats best them.

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8. 78

   daisyjaeposted 14 years ago

   I am a work at home mom who does childcare and my answer to this is YES a busy working mom can be a good mother. I have looked after many kids who were happy to come to my house in the morning to play, and happy to go home with mom at the end of the day.
   
   All families are different and a good mom is a good mom whether she works or not.

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