The Morning Conversations of Barack and Michelle Obama #28

November 25, 2011 - Be in the Black

A fictional (and satirical) account of the private morning conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama by Dexter Yarbrough. Number 28 in the series.

(Michelle Obama enters the White House Kitchen...)

Michelle: Good Morning, Barack. No breakfast for me. That Thanksgiving dinner was enough to last three days.

Barack: Good morning! Yep, it was delicious. I think I will have some green tea.

Michelle: We should go to Best Buy and get in on some of those Black Friday specials! Ha ha ha!!

Barack: Yeah! We could take over the store and shop before everyone else does. The Secret Service agents would have heart attacks trying to get that together on short notice! Ha ha ha!!

Michelle: Have you ever wondered why the word "black" is often used in phrases or words? I mean why call the day after Thanksgiving "BLACK FRIDAY?" Why not "White Friday?" I mean, Black Friday sounds like a day that all the black folks in America are swarming the stores for chickens to fry!

Barack: (laughs hysterically) Yeah! I mean this week is a bad one for poultry. The white folks kill all the turkeys and the black folks kill all the chickens! Ha ha ha!!!

Michelle: Ha ha ha!!! But seriously, have you thought about it?

Barack: You mean like why do people say "the BLACK sheep of the family?"

Michelle: Yes! It has a negative connotation.

Barack: I see what you mean.

Michelle: Let's do this: I will say a word or phrase that has "BLACK" in it and you tell me what it means. We can discuss the negativity surrounding it. But it has to be the first thing that comes to your mind.

Barack: Alright. I'm game!

Michelle: OK. "BLACK PEPPER."

Barack: White pepper!

Michelle: C'mon Barack! Who has ever heard of "white pepper?"

Barack: For your information, the Europeans prefer white pepper over black pepper.

Michelle: Hmmm. Maybe that explains why slavery lasted longer here than it did over there.

Barack: Huh? In salt and pepper, I have always wondered why "salt" always goes first. The letter "P" comes before the letter "S."

Michelle: Great. You know your ABC's!

Barack: I think its a racist conspiracy.

Michelle: (using 19th Century American slave vernacular) Yessum! I bet ol' Massa jes 'bout had da hart 'tack when he done seen da sal n pepa on de table - togeta!

Barack: (roars with laughter) I'se gwine, Massa. I'se gwine. I sho do loves how you makes me wok from sun be up to da sun be down, Massa! I de clare you'se da bes Massa 'roun!

Michelle: Ha ha ha!! OK. Moving on - "BLACKBALLED."

Barack: Well, it's better than getting the "blue balls!" That reminds me of this Hawaiian girl I dated in high....

Michelle: Barack! I don't need to hear about your past sexual experiences - or lack thereof!

Barack: (clears throat) Sorry. Yeah, it's like when someone says "you are behind the eight ball." That white ball is always hitting the colored balls!

Michelle: Yeah! And the eight ball is always the last to get hit in the pocket!

Barack: What's next?

Michelle: OK. Have you noticed that "BLACK CAKE" is devil food cake and "white cake" is angel food cake?

Barack: What the hell is "black cake," Michelle?

Michelle: You know, chocolate cake!

Barack: Uhhh...next.

Michelle: "BLACKOUT."

Barack: What do you suggest, Michelle? A WHITEOUT?

Michelle: How would you like to earn a "Niggah, please?" It could simply be "the lights are out" or the person "passed out." Why does it have to be a blackout? Huh, Barack, huh? And you are not playing fair. Say the first thing that comes to mind!

Barack: Alright! Alright!

Michelle: How about...

(A White House Assistant enters the kitchen)

WH Assistant: Mrs. Obama? You have a guest. Mr. Leroy.

Leroy: Hey, Michelle! It's your boy, Leroy! Fresh from the southside of Chicago!

Michelle: Leroy!!!!! I am mad at you! We have a lot to talk about. (gives Leroy a hug)

Barack: Oh, Lord.

Leroy: Hello, Mista Prez!

Michelle: We were talking about the use of the word "black" and the negatives surrounding it.

Leroy: Can I get in on this?

Barack: Yeah! Michelle gets mad at me!

Michelle: You don't say the first thing that comes to mind, nut!

Leroy: I'se ready, y'all!

Michelle: Say the first thing that comes to mind when I use a word with "black" in it. "BLACKMAN."

Barack: Herman Cain!

Leroy: No. He's BLACKERMAN - the supernegro! "Faster than a speeding Cadillac! More powerful than crack cocaine! Able to leap tall white women in a single bound! Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! No. It's a plane. No. It's BLACKERMAN - the SUPERNEGRO!"

Michelle: (laughs hysterically)

Barack: Ha ha ha!!! Supernegro!

Michelle: Leroy, you are too much!

Stay Tuned for More 'Morning Conversations...' with Barack & Michelle Obama, next time!

Copyright 2011 - Dexter Yarbrough

More by this Author


Comments 66 comments

Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 5 years ago from Jamaica

Another great laugh Dexter. Cane we get one from their bedroom too...please. You know before Michelle puts her face on!


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Hi Son,

This is your Momma, Fergie from the 'White-Eyed Peas' saying that she loves you, loves your moxy and this fabulous article... voted UP & FAB, mar!


StayPos profile image

StayPos 5 years ago from Florida, USA

Dexter,

That's quite the " black " referenced conversation for our First Couple to be having in the " White House " but then again they always seem to keep it real funny whatever their topic of conversation. Great segment!

Up and Funny!


TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants 5 years ago from Tucson, Az.

Blackmail - All mail delivered to the poorer side of town or ghetto.

Black eye - This needs to be changed as it sounds too much like black GUY. This can screw with us white dudes. "Not sure how it happened, but I got drunk at the party and woke up with a black _ _ _" If you're a dude, it can cost you friends!

My friend Richard, who's black, and I used go over these things. We took it deep. Sure miss those days at the gym before he moved to S. Carolina, and just hanging out. Anyway .. If I were black, I'd take exception to being called black. Most blacks have beautiful coffee colored skin these days. Then you've got darker brown, but an actual black person would look as freaky as an actual white person. Albinos are freaky looking. No? (See Edgar Winters)

Dexter, this was extremely funny, and now I'm obsessing, so I'd better pack it in. I'm out and you're cool!

jim


American Romance profile image

American Romance 5 years ago from America

Actually using the term white followed by a verb never works........I heard a white guy say to a black audience, ladies you know what they say? if you ever try white...........you will go back to black!


Movie Master profile image

Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

Hi Dex, love the T shirt pic, 'Obama is the new black'

Great, funny hub Dex, I was glad to see you had published a new hub, I have been missing you, hope all is well, take care MM


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

Great to see another hub Dex, they never fail to bring a smile. Thank you for the laugh today


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

Don't know exactly when nor how it started, Dex, but black has been historically used to describe evil, darness, and the bad guy in the black hat. While white portrays good, light and the good guy in the white hat. The only positive use of black as an adjective that I can think of is a 'basic black dress.' Or 'black tie and tails.' Both very elegant.

BTW, that Leroy (nee Dexter) is a card. What color? Not sayin.


DonnaCosmato profile image

DonnaCosmato 5 years ago from USA

Unusual play on words, Dexter! I voted this up and funny.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

I can't stop laughing. That Leroy cracks me up. Your satire is among the best. Michelle needs to get off the President's ass, he's got enough problems without her mouth..Hee.. loved it


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

Dexter your Obama series just keeps on getting better and that's no WHITE LIE! I was LOL'ing from start to finish! Superb!!! :))


makusr profile image

makusr 5 years ago from India

Dex, That was quite a laugh but was that black humor with white lies (imagination I mean here). That old lingo was too much, Dex. I love this black and white tale. President Barack Obama was last year in India. Your conversations are really good. Keep them coming.

With warm wishes,

MAKUSR


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Cardisa! Thank you. I will see what I can do about a wake-up morning conversation from the boudoir! Thanks so much!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Momma! You always bring a smile to my face. I hope you had a great Thanksgiving! Thank you so much and know that the love flows freely back to you!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi StayPos! They have some fun times in the WH. They may seem stiff and rehearsed in public - but behind closed doors, it is a party! Thanks, my friend!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Jim! I should have contacted you while I was writing this. You have some good stuff to add! We could have a comedy team going here! Thanks, my friend!

By the way, you are right. I have never been "black" in color. Maybe it's time to come up with something better!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi AR! I see the comedy streak is contagious. Thanks for sharing! Hope you had a great holiday!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Movie Master! I have been traveling for work, so I have not been as active. But I am back! Thanks so much. That "t" shirt is cool, huh? I haven't seen Cloverleaf around. Is she doing ok?


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Rosemay! You always have the kindest things to say. Thank you! I am always happy to know I put a smile on your face!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Dr. BJ! How are you? I am learning different styles of humor. You are an expert! You have me laughing and laughing always! Thanks! Leroy is really something else. I have to warn him often to watch his tongue!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Donna! Thanks so much! Unusual - that is the Obama's! And Leroy!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Always Exploring! Yeah, Leroy has a great sense of humor. I sense a mischievous streak running through his blood as well. He tends to be shy around people he doesn't know. But give him a drink - he is one of the best comics around! Thank you!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Sunshine! Leroy really likes you. He has never met you but feels you have a wonderful spirit. He plans to ask Michelle to invite you (and your husband) to the next inauguration - as a special guest!

Anyway, glad you enjoyed it. Thanks so much!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi MAKUSR! It is always a pleasure to have you visit and comment. Thank you so much. It means a lot to me.


sheila b. profile image

sheila b. 5 years ago

I thought I'd have a good comment, about being in the black, then went back for a second reading and saw you'd beat me to it with your title. Anyway, I wish Obama would get us in the black instead of speeding us into the red.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Sheila b.! I can always count on you for a great comment. Thanks!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

Thank you Dex and Leroy!! I'm going shopping for my dress asap! The inauguration will be here before we know it:)


FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 5 years ago

Hi.

These made up definitions are funny. There are a lot of colour phrases where you don't know the origin.

One thing I learned on the news this weekend. The reason why Black Friday is called black Friday is that until that day a lot of stores in United States are in the red. Now as to why being in debt is referred to being in the red, and why making enough money to have a net profit is being in the black, not sure. You would think that it should be in the Green, since money in United States is Green. But, of well.

One actual phrase that used to be used with the word white is extremely racist. When you acted like a gentleman you were told "that was very white of you." Excuse me?


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Sunshine! You are more than welcome!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Flora! Yeah. I agree with you. It should be "Green Friday" after all the money folks are giving to the retailers!

I have heard that phrase! Also, if a black person has done something nice, some ignoramus would say, "that was mighty white of you." Boy oh boy!


JT Walters profile image

JT Walters 5 years ago from Florida

Hi Dex,

This was hysterically funny. I love these hubs. But you the question you should really be asking yourself is why is being in the red so much better. Which Includes red pepper as well. Black and white are both forlorn but being in the red is the way to go entirely.

JT


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi JT! Thank you! And I hear you on the red! Yes, the red!!!


JT Walters profile image

JT Walters 5 years ago from Florida

Dex,

Sometimes I leave bland comments but since i feel I know you a little better I thought I could share my sense of humor with you. That and you know I read the article and comprehended it. The reds do seem to have it all lately.

All My Best,

JT


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi JT! Yep! I was with you from the beginning! Thanks!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

What makes this stuff so funny is how we easily we can see them actually having such a conversation. Humor must have the ring of truth to be funny, and I can visualize Michelle giving Barack a hard time like this.

Up and hilarious, Dex!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Will! Thank you, sir. And I promise to get that to you soon. Work has been really busy!


Sueswan 5 years ago

Good Morning Dexter!

"Michelle: Ha ha ha!! OK. Moving on - "BLACKBALLED."

Barack: Well, it's better than getting the "blue balls!" That reminds me of this Hawaiian girl I dated in high"

Leroy: No. He's BLACKERMAN - the supernegro! "Faster than a speeding Cadillac! More powerful than crack cocaine! Able to leap tall white women in a single bound! Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! No. It's a plane. No. It's BLACKERMAN - the SUPERNEGRO!"

ROFL

I have started my Monday morning with a good laugh.

Thank you Dexter.

Voted up, up and away!

Have a wonderful day. :-)


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

Brilliant once more Dexter and here's to so many more to share on here.

Take care and enjoy your day.

Eddy.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Sueswan! I hope you had a great day. I am so glad you enjoyed this. Thank you so very much!


anglnwu profile image

anglnwu 5 years ago

Thoroughly enjoyed this. All I can say is black is beautiful and as another hubber pointed out, sophisticated or elegant. Thanks for the laugh--loved it and rated it up.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

........you must stand corrected - lol - Dexter, YOU are something else - will be posted with pride, joy and dignity to my Facebook page with a direct link back here - love your photography too - Dexter you are truly a renaissance man and as the ladies all tell me - one good looking dude - lol

lake erie time 4:09pm


bethperry profile image

bethperry 5 years ago from Tennesee

Dexter, enjoyed this newest edition of the story! But poor Barack and his perpetual blue ball problem ;)


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Epi! It brings me joy when you visit and show your support for this meager writer. Thank you so much!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Beth! Glad you enjoyed it! Ha ha ha!!!


bethperry profile image

bethperry 5 years ago from Tennesee

P.S. -regarding the reference to Black Cake, when I was in high school my poetry teacher brought a Black Cake to class one day. It was a recipe from the collection of Emily Dickinson and got its name for the heavy amount of rum and black walnut extract that made the flour turn dark. I may never have remembered that cake if I hadn't read your hub. It was the first the time I saw a teacher get snookered on school grounds, so thanks!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago

Hi Dexter, it was worth the wait, very Funny, dry wit Humor, you are the Man! Mmm, do you think Barack and Michelle would also Enjoy? You should send them this series.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

That was really a great story, Beth!!!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi b.Malin! Thank you so much! I would hope the Obama's would like the series. But I am not sure! Maybe I will try and send it to them. I hope they have a sense of humor!


Amors Potpourri profile image

Amors Potpourri 5 years ago from Victoria, BC, Canada

Dexter I enjoyed this Morning conversation between the President and First Lady. What really cracked me was the piece about the "Black cake" and Angel cake," because I never thought of it that way. So many things we take for granted, but most times there is greater meaning behind what appears to be so innocent. Keep up the good work and I intend to read more of the President and First Lady conversations. LOL!!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Amors! It is a pleasure to have you read and comment on my hub! Thank you so much for your generous comments. I really appreciate it. I hope you find the other "conversations" just as enjoyable!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Dexter....What can I say about your fantastic Obama Series, that hasn't been said hundreds of times by all who follow you? Whenever I'm blue ...due to a black cloud above my head, it's usually because my numbers are in the red. It's difficult to see the grey areas when looking for gold and silver, but find only copper. I come to your colorful hubs, Dex, because you make me laugh and before I know it, I'm in the pink!! Thanks friend.


feenix profile image

feenix 4 years ago

Hey, Dex,

When I first started reading this post, I thought about a rhetorical question posed by Malcolm X. He asked, "Why can't the White House be called the Black House?"


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago

Excellent and witty, Dexter. I enjoyed your fine Hub here. Well done!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Hi Fpherj48! You are too sweet! Thank you so much. I have been away for a few weeks but I am back to deliver more good times.

I really appreciate you. Please know this.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Feenix! It is always a pleasure when my friend from NY visits! I remember reading about that! Thanks!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Hi James! Always a pleasure! Thanks for your kind words!


Aka Professor M 4 years ago

@Dexter Yarbrough: This series shows the true versatility and writing expertise that you bring to HubPages. It takes a great deal of concerted concentrated effort to pull it off as well as this one does, my friend!

This deserves all the accolades that it has garnered for this entertaining and delightful well craft series, My Friend! Voted Up and Pushed all the buttons! ;D


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Hi Professor! I am honored that you would take the time to grace my hub with your wonderful comments. Thank you so very much!


arusho profile image

arusho 4 years ago from University Place, Wa.

Great hub Dexter! Very witty. Why is it called Black Friday?


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Hi Arusho! Thank you so much! It is called lack Friday because this is the day the retailers intend to make a profit after being financially in the red for the earlier part of the year.


Ghost32 4 years ago

Okay, excellent as always--but biased, those Obamas, at least on this issue. Ain't nuthin' more negative than getting caught in the middle of a blizzard whiteout in the middle of nowhere. Or more positive than suddenly finding yourself in the black after coming within a cat's whisker of losing your Subaru Outback to the title pawn people.

My redhead looks awesome in black. White does nothing for her.

Voted Up and Over.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Ghost! Ha ha ha! I love your perspective! I have missed you. I have been vacationing but shall return soon! Thanks for reading and the votes!


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK

I came by to read an update on the Morning Conversations in the White House. I can't believe I missed this one. I love your sense of Humour. Ace.

Best Wishes.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Thank you Lady E. Some fresh content is upcoming! Always great to get a comment from you!


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Good morning Dexter. The President and his family must be hungry by now. Hope all is well.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Hi Mckbirdbks! Yes. I think you're right! Thanks!

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