What's some funny status lines you've seen one someones Facebook?

CoryLavel Lewis

-Doesnt drink water Fish Have sex in it!

-is saving money on his car insurance by fleeing the scene of the accident!

-is Proud of himself. He just finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years!

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Facebook provides us with the opportunity to be witty as often as we like simply by updating our status message with something funny. But how long have you stared at it wondering what to write? None of us can... keep reading →

I have one friend who always posts the funniest lines. Some recent posts: "Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young" and "I ain't saying the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance...she leaned over and pushed me." My favorite is "I dream of a better tomorrow… where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned."

Went to see the Nurse today, She said "I need to stop Masturbating", I said Why??. She said, "Because i'm trying to Examine You"

"Bought a new deodorant yesterday, instructions said "take off top and push up bottom!"..I'm still waiting in the ER!!"

or

"What did one droopy boob say to the other droopy boob? We better straighten up or people are gonna think we're nuts!"

the funniest headline that I've seen on facebook..... Hmmmmmm.... one of them was "Don't ever drunk and get a tattoo, you may wake up with a burning ass." I thought it was pretty hilarious.