Are no. of children in past relationship affect whom you choose as partner, bf/g

1. 68

   alexandriaruthkposted 11 years ago

   Are no. of children in past relationship affect whom you choose as partner, bf/gf or spouse?
   
   Or you disregard it at all.

   replyreport
2. 52

   abbykorinneleeposted 11 years ago

   I don't look at how many kids they have, I look at if they are raising their kids.  If they are responsible parents and calling them frequently, I take notice if they send gifts on their birthdays or holidays, if they attend school events, if they are involved with their schooling.  I look to see if they pay their child support.  I also pay attention to if they have a good co-parenting relationship with their ex because I have one that is great and one that is a deadbeat and I will not be with anyone that doesn't do the above things.  I pay attention to if they kids are with say one or two ex's or if five kids are from five different women.  I won't be with someone who does that again either.  I also look to see if they have an ex that is too involved in dramatic events with the ex.  I don't do baby mama drama in the sense of fighting all the time, using the kids against someone, trying to hurt them by getting to the ex.  I don't deal with anyone that doesn't treat their exwife well either.  He can't demean her or talk about her in front of his kids or do things to hurt her either.  Its not how many kids its how they are treated and how their mom is treated.  Godd questions.

   replyreport
   1. 56

      tussinposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I agree. Why would a woman date a man who doesn't take care of his children?  If the woman gets pregnant, she knows exactly what kind of father he will be.  lol.

      replyreport
3. 56

   tussinposted 11 years ago

   LOL, serious?
   
   Only an insanely desperate person with give that zero consideration. 
   
   A normal person finds out how many children their partner has, what their ages are, how many different mothers/fathers there are, and what the custody situation is with each child.  Then with all the facts that person decides whether or not to continue with the relationship, or let it go because it's too much aggravation.  A person who claims not to care whether their partner has children is probably not looking for a serious relationship.

   replyreport
   1. 79

      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Excellent point! When I dated women who had children I was not (looking) to get married. In fact I had told myself and everyone I knew I would (never) get married! ha ha ha. However I did date a woman that had 3 small children for about 4 years.

      replyreport
4. 37

   edhanposted 11 years ago

   It is between you & your partner.
   
   It doesn't matter of others when comes to a relationship as it is what you & your partner wants. Period!

   replyreport
5. 79

   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   When I was dating it was never about the number of kids a woman had but rather the number of problems she had with them!
   I once dated a woman whose kids yelled at her and disrespected her in countless ways. She did not believe in spanking them and encouraged them to "express" themselves. Since I knew I would never put up with that crap it was clear that relationship would not last long. If a child will yell and throw a stuffed animal at her mother in anger you can imagine what she might attempt to do with someone who is not related to her.
   There was another woman I dated whose ex-husband was constantly fighting with her over issues dealing with the kids. He never wanted to take them for weekends because he did not want her to be out having fun. It was his way of controlling her and thus controlling what we could do. From time to time her mother would watch the children for a weekend but we were never able to go away on a 7 day vacation.
   Eventually the older one gets they are more likely to meet people whose children have left the nest. However some of them are like a bad penny, they keep turning up asking for money and pulling their parents into their drama. As I stated it really comes down to how the parent handles their children and not the fact that they have them.
   In the end I married a woman who like myself never had children. It just worked out that way. (Although she treats her two cats like they are children!) LOL!

   replyreport