Is there any truth to "one loving more" in love in a relationship?

1. 76

   DexisViewposted 11 years ago

   Is there any truth to "one loving more" in love in a relationship?
   
   Have you been the one and how did that work out for you?
   ....Or do you think one may just be better at expressing their feelings?

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2. 79

   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   Each of us defines love differently as well as have our own expectations of how one "in love" behaves. In truth there is no "right" or "wrong" way to express love. There is only "agree" or "disagree".
   When someone is unhappy with their mate it is because they aren't being loved the way (they) want or (feel) they should be loved. Not everyone expresses love in the same ways. This is why (mate selection) is so important!
   If you or the person you are with has to change their core being in order to make the other person happy then it's possible you have selected the wrong mate for yourself. Ultimately everyone wants to be loved and appreciated for who (they) are.
   Having said that it is possible to fall "in love" with someone who is NOT "in love" with you. If someone states: "I love you but I am not (in) love with you." They are essentially saying: "You are not (the one)".
   The underlying definition of "soul mates" is two people who share the same values, want the same things for the relationship, and naturally agree on how to obtain them. Last but not least they have a (mutual) depth of love, desire, and respect for one another. In order for him/her to be "the one" they must see you as being "the one".
   There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: we either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have.

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   1. 76

      DexisViewposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your thoughts on love, "ds".  Too bad more people couldn't be happy with what they have.  It's the old.. the grass isn't always greener

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3. 59

   Cordelia Bayposted 11 years ago

   Yes, I believe it is possible for one to love another more! There are varying degrees of love. There is love that is guide by emotions. There is love that a parent has for a child, that is not easily understood until one becomes a parent. There is the love when another puts one's self the the shoes of another....and, concludes that no individual should be where the one or situation they are witnessing should be taking place. There is the love that one feels for another when there is no simple explanation or reason that one should love the other. There is the love that never fades whether together or apart. And, again; there is the love that is never returned or sought after.

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      DexisViewposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      True Cordelia ~ there are so many kinds of love.

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4. 90

   Theophanesposted 11 years ago

   There is loving someone who is only in a relationship with you for their own convenience... these don't tend to work well but it is true people are in relationships for all different reasons, love doesn't have to be the make or break factor, but if it isn't mirrored in both partners this can be a huge problem.

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5. 0

   savvydatingposted 11 years ago

   My experience is that he is more in love in the beginning, but then I catch up. It works for me. Some of us are reserved and need more time to figure out our feelings. Others know how they feel right away, and for them it is perfectly natural that they wear their hearts on their sleeve. The two types can be a good match no matter which person is reserved or which is expressive, as long as they both have sincere hearts.

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      DexisViewposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      That's interesting Savvy.  I think you are right though...perhaps two very different approaches can work quite well.

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6. 84

   SidKempposted 11 years ago

   I don't think it helps to ask who is more loving. Comparison cripples us. It helps to ask, "How can I be more loving?" I don't mean that we should be doormats, or burn ourselves out, or pretend not to have needs.
   
   But what works for me (and my wife of over 25 years) is to connect within to a Source of Love, and to let it flow to the other (and all others) from that Source through us. When we get most of what we need direct from the Source, we need very little from our loved ones. But, what we do need, we should ask for.
   
   When it comes to loving another, I've found it helps to speak their love language. You can check out my hub on the Five Love Languages - it's the most useful book I've come across in years.

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