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I also feel that "red flags" should be considered when getting married. "Gut instincts" should not be ignored either. These are the things that we can count on to make decisions along with good research.
Mitch Alan says
I like your statement. "Always be the spouse you'd want."
I agree,, you do have to give 100% or it won't work.
Lisasuniquevoice, you make marriage sounds harder than working life!!!
Walter, the challenge comes when people think that marriage doesn't require work. Working at something worthwhile is not a bad thing. What of any value comes without work.
Note: There is a difference between work and a "labor of love". Work is something you have to do in order to live. A labor of love is work you choose to nurture or maintain. Marriage and family are choices. It's a labor of love to take care of wants.
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Poon Poi Ming says
John Connor says
I guess getting married in a Catholic church is good for Catholics, but what about everyone else?
Thank you for your comment.
I apologize it was not my intent that it was only good for Catholics. It is good for everyone to have this Sacrament provide needed strength for maintaining the union...
Lisasuniquevoice, connorj was referring to Catholics. Other religious followers will go to their respective place of worship. And an atheist would probably go to the science laboratory.
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Having a soft place to fall is so very important.
IMO there are always "deal breakers". If one's mate becomes verbal/physical abusive, puts you at risk for STDs/Aids by cheating, or allows addictions to tear down the family fabric, remember you are NOT "stuck" with anyone! Divorce means a new start.
I don't disagree DS. These things need to be openly addressed before marriage. That's what I mean by saying if you can't give your entire life and 'reasonably' expect the same from them - don't make the vows.
M2C, I was basically saying sometimes unforeseen things happen (after) one gets married. In the situations I described no one should feel obligated to stay in an abusive marriage for the sake of their vows. Are there exceptions to your "pine box"?
Believing marriage will last forever is the way to go when you're going to tie the knot. But, it's also true that people can change and if the change is too much for you to handle you do have to get out.
lisasuniquevoice, I've never heard of anyone thinking about divorce on their wedding day. :-)
I agree with the teachings of my Church on this one, DS. The three A's are exceptions. Addiction, Abuse, and Adultery. With the exception of abuse, however, I believe it's possible to overcome the other two.
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