What is wrong with me?

1. 59

   Jesus was a hippyposted 11 years ago

   I met a girl 12 years ago and fell hopelessly in love with her. She went out with some other guy but we stayed in contact. We almost got together until I messed things up and stopped talking to her for a while. Eventually we started talking again and I am still as hopelessly in love with her as when I met her. She is now going out with a fat tramp (I'm not joking or being insulting, he is fat and was homeless before he moved in with her) and we're still good friends. Clearly she is happy with her tramp.
   
   I have two girls that I met on the internet that are coming on to me. They are both gorgeous and really cool girls yet I don't want to start anything with either of them because I only want the one girl that I am madly in love with.
   
   Why can I not get over this one girl? I am so in love with her. I don't even want to get over her. I just think that if I ever got together with someone else, it would just be something that I would instantly throw away should the girl I love change her mind.
   
   I hate hurting people, maybe that is why I don't want to start anything because I am sure that if it came to it, they would always be second choice.
   
   Am I on my own here or are other guys emotional pussies like me?

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   1. 60

      janesixposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Honey, there's nothing wrong with you. You're just in love.
      
      I still love my first from ten years ago. I would never be with him again if my life depended on it because hes a sociopathic crank head, but i still LOVE him.

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      1. 59

         Jesus was a hippyposted 11 years agoin reply to this

         Whats a crank head? A friend of mine says that because we never got together I can't get past her. I don't know if I would want to get past her.
         
         I don't understand people that can love someone and a few months later love someone else and so on and so on.
         
         For me it's only ever been one girl. I sound so gay right now

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         1. 60

            janesixposted 11 years agoin reply to this

            Crank is crystal meth

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         2. 60

            janesixposted 11 years agoin reply to this

            You dont have to get past her. If you fall in love with someone else down the line, cool. But you dont have to stop loving someone, ever.
            
            Im probably not one to give out relationship advice though... My love life is a complete mess

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            1. 59

               Jesus was a hippyposted 11 years agoin reply to this

               lol I drive a taxi at night, trust me, you are probably one of the rare few that is worth meeting.
               
               You wouldn't believe the amount of girls that get in my cab that are total slappers who put no value whatsoever on emotions. Of course there are plenty more guys than girls but I think it is sad that so many people never seem to feel anything for their partner.
               
               A friend of mine told me that he had a massive go at his wife because she bought him an anniversary present when he told her not to. I don't understand how he could do that.
               
               I kind of think that I am way too emotional for a guy.

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                  Mighty Momposted 11 years agoin reply to this

                  I think you are very aptly named.
                  Your namesake was pretty emotional, too, as I recall...
                  

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      klarawieckposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      My husband is not a tramp and he wasn't homeless, so you've got some explaining to do here!!

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      Eaglekiwiposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Being emotional is not bad-unless it dominates reality too often.
      
      A male that is gentle and tender and unafraid to express his emotions shows strength not weakness ,in my opinion.
      
      12 yrs is a long time ,and possibly you are letting someone special slide by ,while you pine for this lost love.
      
      Also, be honest with yourself,is she happy ,does she love this other guy?
      
      Then let her go, stop letting her park rent free in your mind

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2. 78

   Mighty Momposted 11 years ago

   Inspired  by janesix's butterfly icon, I will quote the old adage "If you love someone set them free. If theyome back it was meant to be..."
   
   The situation is young yet. You may still get together.
   She also may seem more attractive to you because she is unobtainable at present.We do tend to want what we can't have...
   It's also way ok to feel your feelings whether you are a male or a female.
   No shame in that!
   Agree Ain't nothing wrong with you.
   MM

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   1. 59

      Jesus was a hippyposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      It's only been 12 years...
      
      
      
      Trust me I know that one.
      
      

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   Arlene V. Pomaposted 11 years ago

   12 years is a long time.  But since she isn't with you or at least has not made an attempt to be with you, what does that tell you?  If you choose to pine away on the unknown, that's your call.  But by doing this, you risk not finding someone who will give you more than she ever did.  This is not about being emotional or thinking there is something wrong with you.  When it comes to her, you just made the choice to hang on longer than most people would.  So you're stuck with what could have been.  The past.  You're banking on a relationship that died a long time ago, and this is your excuse not to move on.

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4. 76

   Shaddieposted 11 years ago

   Does she know you still harbor feelings for her?

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5. 61

   Disturbiaposted 11 years ago

   Do you really love her, or just the fantasy of her?  You say that you stopped talking to her for a while after you re-established contact with her.  Let me ask you, with all do respect, if you love her so much, why on earth would you let your contact with her lapse again?  Maybe you just want her because she's with the fat tramp now. We often want what we know we can't have and want it even more just because we can't have it.  You have three options as I see it, you can pine away for her and use your love for her as an excuse to keep from getting involved with someone else, or you can move on and find someone to be happy with, if that's what you really want, or you can tell her how you feel and who knows, maybe she feels the same way.  Just because she appears to be "happy" with the fat tramp, doesn't always make it so.  She could still be in love with you too.

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