How do you deal with working with someone that you just cannot stand?

1. 74

   ladyjane1posted 12 years ago

   How do you deal with working with someone that you just cannot stand?

   replyreport
2. 97

   Gordon Hamiltonposted 12 years ago

   Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending upon what way you look at it) I've been in that position many times. I've been in the position a few times where I've not only had to work with someone I can't stand but I have actually been their boss! That makes me sound like an intolerant person but I promise, I'm anything but.
   
   If you simply work with them, on a similar level, you have a number of choices. You can ignore them and hope they ignore you in mutual dislike and disrespect. That can work in certain circumstances but it's better to try and achieve a mutual understanding in the sense that you're both stuck with the situation and you have to make the most of it. Liking each other is not compulsory - working together may well be, at least in the short term.
   
   If you are the boss, you don't have that luxury. Your first objective has to be to find some form of common ground on which you can reach out to and relate to that person, ideally non-work related. It may be the shared admiration of a sports' team, it may be a shared interest in a leisure activity - it may be (but less than ideally) a shared dislike of some ideology or entity. Whatever it is, the two way respect issue is essential.
   
   Bottom line? Common ground is desirable, mutual respect at least is essential - however much it may go against the grain...

   replyreport
3. 56

   jeanniedoeposted 12 years ago

   Work with the person casually or Ignore him or her and focus on your work.  But when time comes that you cannot take it you can find another workplace or just confront him/her so that you can settle things between you.

   replyreport
4. 67

   Gypsy Willowposted 12 years ago

   This has happened to me recently. I try to find likeable traits in the person and work on liking them. Sometimes works!

   replyreport
5. 55

   aisha91posted 12 years ago

   If I can't really stand her or him, I tend to just ignore that person but the often best choice I make is to be civil with him/her, ignoring my feelings inside at the same time.
   Anyway it has some advantages too- the patience inside becomes stronger and stronger as the time passes.

   replyreport
6. 0

   shazwellynposted 12 years ago

   .... you keep sitting there - how can you get up if you can not stand? lol (sorry, couldnt resist!)

   replyreport
7. 74

   Capediumposted 12 years ago

   It is very tough. It is hard.. But the best thing to do is find a place in your heart to love him or her.. When you do that, you will be fine.. Love blinds the fault and all you see is working with someone you love.

   replyreport
8. 61

   Dubuquedogtrainerposted 12 years ago

   I keep my communications with the person professional. Interact with that person via his or her preferred mode of communication, e.g., email, in person, telephone, but keep it related to business and keep it to the minimum necessary to do business. Keep your objective for the interactions in mind and keep it impersonal but polite.

   replyreport
9. 60

   TARYN3posted 12 years ago

   Avoid them.  Only deal with them when you are forced to.  Meaning, only speak to them if they speak to you.  If the feeling is mutual, they may try to bait you into an argument or disagreement which could result in you losing your job.  Be professional focus on the task at hand, your job.  Some people get so comfortable at work they stop focusing on their job and responsibilities and get caught up in the office gossip, clicks at work, listen.  There are PLENTY of people out of work, you better focus on whats important, your job.

   replyreport
10. 60

    Mala Srivastavaposted 12 years ago

    I avoid talking to that person and focus my mind on my work. If he or she says something bad about me, I ignore it.

    replyreport
11. 61

    larryriegleposted 12 years ago

    fire them and hire your girlfriend...if you can't stand her, get a new one.

    replyreport
12. 64

    Ramsa1posted 12 years ago

    If it's possible have someone else deal with that person on your behalf. For three years I did my best to deal with my brother who is the executor of my father's estate. I no longer can, and have issued a Power of Attorney to a cousin.

    replyreport