Tamara StarLife Coach, Speaker, Writer
I'm told happiness is a choice.
Unfortunately we complicate our lives to the point of being unable to recognize happiness when it appears before our eyes.
So how to clear the slate? Here are 10 things you'll need to give up in exchange for your happiness.
1. Give up caring what other people think of you. I know it seems counter intuitive as we humans are primal pack animals that don't want to be cast from the village, but spending time worrying what others think, is a waste of energy. You'll never please everyone and it's none of your business what others think of you.
2. Give up trying to please everyone. Unless you're living life to the beat of your own drum, your tribe won't be able to find you. Be the best version of you you can be, and you'll naturally attract in the people that are supposed to surround you.
3. Give up participating in gossip. 100 percent of the time, those sharing gossip with you will gossip about you. Believing gossip is like gambling everything on a horse sight unseen. It's naive.
4. Quit worrying. Where thoughts go, energy flows. Worry is investing time and energy in something you don't want to have happen. Learn to let go and trust.
5. Let go of insecurity. When we take ourselves too seriously, we think everyone else does too. There is one version of you on the planet. Be it, own it and quit worrying about it. No one really cares or watches you that closely.
6. Stop taking everything personally. Truth is, most people are too consumed with their own life to really consider what you're doing. As my first boss said so well: "The world doesn't revolve around you. Most people's reactions have nothing to do with you, so let it go."
7. Give up the past. We've all been hurt, we all had parents that made mistakes and we've all been through hell. You didn't listen to your parents when you were younger, so why are you still listening to their voices in your head now? Every experience in life has taught you something or made you stronger.
8. Give up spending money on what you don't need in effort to buy happiness. Living simply allows the space for life to flow. We complicate our lives by spending too much money and filling our home with "things." Less is truly more.
9. Give up anger. Anger burns a hole in the hand of the person still holding on to it. Move it out once and for all.
10. Give up control. Control is an illusion. We live in an out of control world. Learn to embrace the new and welcome change; otherwise you'll grow old through your own rigidity. Learn to let go.
Tamara Star is a coach, healer, speaker, writer, and businesswoman. Connect with Tamara on her website, Facebook or Twitter. This piece first appeared on elephantjournal.com.
Ouch. Some of those hit close to home. I just got laid off -- as a teacher, which is unheard of this time of year -- and the insecurity and "taking it personally" were paralyzing me. I agree about embracing change, too. I've never been afraid to completely reorder my life. I don't like having it forced on me this way, but I know I've already developed the skills to manage.
Thanks for sharing your list!
Im so sorry. I know what that feels like all to well. For me it was always a matter of faith and trust... everything always turned out for the best. I hope it will all be good change for you with little fear.
11. Let go of your ego. It just gets in the way of reasoned thought. You don't have to be 'right' all the time. Besides, your ego severely limits your ability to move forward and welcome new ideas. It only has your past beliefs to go on, so tries like hell to keep your where you are.
Just let things be..and relax. Live in the present, and leave the past and any regrets, grudges and all that..behind.
Oh...and I haven't been through hell. I'm fine. Cheers everyone
Always nice to hear from timorous. You say it well.
Happiness, after all, is simply a word given to a state of being - that we choose.
It costs nothing.
Hi rebekah, nice to read you too. and thanks.
I've been reading this thing called A Bug-Free Mind. It puports to finally enable you to get rid of whatever it is that's holding you back from achieving true success and happiness. Check it out...
I think that maybe what is holding up a lot of people from being relaxed and happy is this belief that there is 'true success and happiness' somewhere out there or in the future. Acceptance of what we are now, enjoying the moment and gratitude for what we have can bring peace and happiness into any moment despite whatever is going on in our lives. Though for me still a work in progress lol!
That was a good addition.
Those kind of statements remind me of the Titanic's "unsinkable" claims. Best to take your own advice and be humble... life can be unbearable. I'm glad it hasn't been for you so far.
by Neva dull moments 2 years ago
What makes a happy life?what is your opinion of a happy life? I just want to see the various opinions
by Audrey Selig 15 months ago
How do you handle a close relative who keeps putting you down for no reason?
by Alexander Pease 7 years ago
What do you do in your life to cope with hard times? How do you deal with a loss? I am interested to hear the multiple ways that people deal with stress, loss, and other difficulties.
by Deepak Chaturvedi 6 years ago
What is the cause of your personal happiness?
by Escobana 6 years ago
And if you're not, what would you change to reach the state of happiness you want to be in.I am happy for living my life without any stress, the freedom to choose where I want to go each day, for having found true love and for having learned how to love myself with all the good and all the bad.
by samanthamayer 7 years ago
Why do we care so much about what others think of us?What we say, what is said about us, what we wear, what we eat... There are so many campaigns with the slogan to just "be yourself", and yet, we still seem to get trapped in this cycle of constantly worrying about what other people think...
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