A man walks into a bar....ok, so he isn't a man, he's a length of rope. Anyway, he walks up to the bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "we don't serve your kind in here, so get out." The bouncer throws the rope into the back alley. The rope gets up, undeterred and brushes himself off. To disguise himself, he ties his head into a knot and messes up the ends of the rope fibers on top. He goes back inside and steps up to the bar. The bartender says, "Hey, aren't you the rope I just threw out of here?" The rope answers, "I'm a-frayed-knot."
@Dzy, One last classic bartender joke. A baby giraffe stumbled into a bar and managed to get his front hooves up on the bar which got the bartender's attention. "Something for ya', pal," the bartender asked. "Oh, how I wish I had a Long neck," the baby giraffe said.
...obtains first person omniscience whereby he scolds the author for assuming his gender. The author quickly changes the joke to include an androgynous character walking into a multipurpose lounge. The character reverts back into the story, thereby obtaining its androgynous qualities, and finally orders a drink before reveling in its 21st century political correctness and witticisms.
@cherylone, super joke, my friend. A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a vodka martini. The bartender thinking that the gorilla is just a dumb animal says, "that'll be $20 sir." When the gorilla hands him a twenty, the bartender, a wise man, thinks, I had better get him to talking and he won't notice the high price of that martini. "Uhhh, we don't get that many gorillas in here," said the bartender. The gorilla took a sip of his martini and replied, "At these prices I can see why." Ba Boom!
A dog walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve dogs in here, get out." With that, the bartender pulls a gun out from under the bar and shoots the dog in the foot. The dog left, but later returned. He sauntered up to the bar, glanced one way, then the other. "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
The bartender brings him the three beers, and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third, until they're gone.
He then orders three more and the bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold, so you can start with one, and I'll bring you a fresh one as soon as you're low."
The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the Ireland. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night, we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three beers, too, and we're drinking together."
The bartender thinks it's a wonderful tradition, and every week he sets up the guy's three beers. Then one week, the man comes in and orders only two. He drinks them and then orders two more. The bartender says sadly, "Knowing your tradition, I'd just like to just say that I'm sorry you've lost a brother."
The man replies, "Oh, my brothers are fine -- I just quit drinking."
Warning and Disclaimer:This joke is cute, but a little bit on the "off-color" side, although it contains not a single bad word, and nothing particularly graphic by way of description...it is only suggested and hinted at....Nonetheless, you have been warned, so don't read it, then complain...
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