I'd like feedback on my Hub: Coming Closer to Family Make you more Healthier

1. 60

   Sami Paulposted 7 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Coming Closer to Family Make you more Healthier (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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   1. 90

      theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hi there,
      
      Your title is grammatically incorrect. You don't need 'more' and 'healthier'. So it's "Becoming Closer to Family Makes You Healthier" Note: 'makes' with an s, and You with a capital Y.
      
      Your author bio says that you are a skilled writer, but unfortunately your article needs a lot of work. It's way too short for one thing. It should be around 1000 words for this type of article.
      
      The first sentence, "It is always healthier to spend time with your family because when you don't care about your relations you will be going alone in your life run."
      
      There is nothing in the second part of the sentence that makes the first part true. Some people are mentally healthier away from their families. We don't say 'life run'. You might say 'going it alone in your life', but it's still an awkward sentence.
      
      If you want to be a 'skilled writer' at HubPages, you will have to improve your English dramatically and learn how to write articles that are useful and informative.
      
      Sorry.

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   2. 77

      TIMETRAVELER2posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Sami:
      
      If you are going to advertise yourself as a skilled writer, then I suggest you make sure that you are! 
      You can begin by reading the tutorials in the HP learning center, so you know what you should be doing in order to produce quality work.
      Then you should take the time to read some articles from people who have been here awhile.
      Unfortunately, your skills are lacking significantly.  It is clear that you are a second language speaker of English.
      To succeed here, your English skills must be top notch. 
      
      Take some courses.  Do some reading.  Learn what you can.  THEN come back and start writing hubs.
      
      Good  Luck

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2. 0

   pen promulgatesposted 7 years ago

   Hi sami,
   Welcome to Hubpages.
   I guess you submitted this article without knowing much about HP's standards.You may have done out of innocence. There is much to learn.
   
   Feedback for you:
   
   1) Your article is way too short. An article needs to be at least 800 words or above (even that maybe be less).
   2) You can only use images that are legal.
   3) Your article has punctuation errors:
   There needs to be a space after comma and periods.
   4) There are grammatical errors too:
   The Paragraph 'in order to keep yourself alive you need to priorities your duties as a human being.Sometimes you got bore with your daily life routine and that is the time you want to spend time with family.' is incorrect. I guess you meant prioritize, you wrote priorities.' 'Sometimes you got bore' must be sometimes you get bored.... (Again avoid passive voice).
   
   Please refer to the FAQ's
   Here is the link
   http://hubpages.com/faq/#successful-hub-aspects
   
   Hope these help.
   Good luck.

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3. 97

   Rupert Taylorposted 7 years ago

   Sorry, but your English language skill is not up to the standard HubPages requires. Even your headline is grammatically incorrect; should be Coming Closer to Family Makes you Healthier. There are numerous other issues as covered by PP.

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4. 59

   Hardik4543posted 7 years ago

   if you don't mind mind can you highlights grammatical errors

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   1. 90

      theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      No, we can't do the work for you. It's your job, as a writer to make the improvements. Otherwise you won't learn anything.
      
      Now.... can you make it to 1,000 words? Or at least 700

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5. 0

   pen promulgatesposted 7 years ago

   Hardik,
   
   We have already highlighted many.
   Right from the title to the first paragraph to the other paragraph.  Check the comments from me, theraggededge, and Rupert.

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6. 60

   Sami Paulposted 7 years ago

   I have made some changes to it.You can check.

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7. 0

   pen promulgatesposted 7 years ago

   @ Sami, though you have incorporated some changes highlighted by us, (that's a good thing), the rest of the advice hasn't been followed. There needs to be a space after periods before you begin your next sentence.
   
   Your article is very short.
   Read the faq's link I sent and write magazine-style informative articles with the use of legal images.

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8. 60

   Sami Paulposted 7 years ago

   Hi Pen,
   I'm working on your feedback.
   
   Thanks

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9. 0

   pen promulgatesposted 7 years ago

   Good luck. I am sure you can make it if you worked as per HP's standards.

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10. 75

    Kathleen Cochranposted 7 years ago

    Thank you, theraggededge.  Has HP completely abandoned their responsibilities for reviewing hubs?  Why are so many new hubbers resorting to this shortcut?

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11. 97

    Rupert Taylorposted 7 years ago

    As I understand it, when articles are presented to HP they are reviewed by grammar, punctuation, syntax, etc software. Those with obvious errors submitted by people with only a flimsy grasp of English are held back and the writer is sent an e-mail suggesting they seek advice from this forum. Several people here offer advice on how to improve - they do so on a volunteer basis. Sometimes, the writers follow the suggestions, sometimes they get angry that what they see as their peerless work is criticized.
    
    Articles that pass the algorithm test are reviewed by HP staff and, if of good quality, are published.
    
    I suspect the volume of submissions is such that it's impossible for a small group of editors to eyeball them all. I don't see that HP has abandoned any responsibilities.

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12. 75

    Kathleen Cochranposted 7 years ago

    In the six years I've been here, they have never had to resort to this tactic.  I think they don't want to be bothered.
    This is a site for writers to showcase their work.  Not a remedial English class.  God bless those hubbers who are willing to provide this service, but I really think we are perpetuating writers who are not yet ready for a site like HP.

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    1. 90

       theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       Kathleen, I'm pretty sure I've been doing this for a couple of years I don't mind, especially when I find that 'hidden treasure' of a hub, or a new hubber who is determined to become the best they can be and learn all they can. I'm looking at Pen Promulgates here
       
       If a hub is so badly written that it's obvious the hubber isn't ready for this level of exposure, then I tell them so.

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13. 75

    Kathleen Cochranposted 7 years ago

    I'm sure they appreciate the help.

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