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I'd like feedback on my article: How to Make a Gift Basket - For Men.

  1. rox19 profile image60
    rox19posted 5 weeks ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article How to Make a Gift Basket - For Men. (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

    1. Jeremy Gill profile image86
      Jeremy Gillposted 5 weeks ago in reply to this

      Here are my suggestions:

      1) Really proofread. Not a good sign when an article begins with "When you a kid." Shortly after, "when you getting older" and "So does vouchers done few times too!" Grammar/spelling mistakes happen, but there just can't be that many so early or readers will leave.

      2) The "A bit more ideas - food basket" is too text heavy. Break it up in some fashion, perhaps with a picture or video. The bottom of the article could use another picture too.

      3) Talk about or remove the Amazon capsules.

      4) Here's a minor style tip: instead of a single dash (-) use the em dash(—). It can be found under the "Insert Special Character" button in a text capsule.

      This article desperately needs to be proofread, but I do see some improvements over previous Hubs. You use bullet points, number points, and a poll, so well done there. Just please proofread what you write. Your own profile has a spelling error: topiks should be topics.

    2. Jeff Martin1 profile image80
      Jeff Martin1posted 5 weeks ago in reply to this

      I hate to sound like an echo, and I mean no offense; but there are many grammatical errors in this post.

      The topic is great, but it seems as though you speak like you talk. You have to write as though your boss is going to read it.

      I would also limit the Amazon capsules. It just looks like you are trying too hard to earn money; and people seem to feel uncomfortable with helping others make money.

  2. pen promulgates profile image79
    pen promulgatesposted 5 weeks ago

    Jeremy is right. While the hub looks more organized, grammar is failing the quality of your article.
    Verbs are the biggest issue I notice.
    Particularly the forms of the verb 'Be' (am, is, are, etc).

  3. rox19 profile image60
    rox19posted 5 weeks ago

    Thank you very much for a constructive criticism and advice!
    I will be working on it.

    I used a couple of grammar sites - I don't know how I managed to miss all those mistakes.

    1. Jeremy Gill profile image86
      Jeremy Gillposted 5 weeks ago in reply to this

      You're welcome! I think many of us writers are nervous to read what we've just written, fearing it won't be as good as we intended. Thus proofreading is often skipped. But it's a necessary step and can help find other areas to improve beyond just spelling/grammar errors.

  4. pen promulgates profile image79
    pen promulgatesposted 5 weeks ago

    The best advice I can give is when you finish writing a sentence, check for the  verb(s) in it. That way you would spot all the verbs you have missed.

 
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