I'd like feedback on my article: Mouth-watering Medicine

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   Ram Ramakrishnanposted 7 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   Will you please give feedback on my article Mouth-watering Medicine. 
   
   A moderator has specifically mentioned two areas that need to be looked into. One is changing bold text to non-bold; the other is to proofread the article.
   
   Originally, text was recorded in the regular style. But as left alignment of text is enforced, they wouldn't center about the picture above. That looked not too good to my eyes. I attempted text indentation using html, but they wouldn't stay. Once I saved the changes to the text box, the html commands inserted are removed and the text is reset to the old style. Finally, I made all text bold, which increased the line length and aligned better with the picture, which again to my eyes appeared more aesthetic. It was a case of a trade off between bold text and text alignment with the picture box. Can you please suggest any other way to achieve the required ideal?
   
   On the second point, I assume that the suggestion that I proofread the text could have been made for two possible reasons. One, the manner of framing sentences, and the other, the red lines that appear below some words cautioning the writer that such a word may not exist.
   
   On the first point, I believe that since the entire text is presented in verse form, there will be a certain degree of non-grammatical sentence-framing, which may be excused from the perspective of poetic leniency. Would you agree with this thought?
   
   On the second, some words are underlined in red, despite their usage being endorsed by dictionaries. One ready example is the word "carminative" that I have used and which cannot be replaced considering the metrical and contextual  restrictions of the sentence that it appears in. Can you please help me in resolving issues such as this?
   
   Thanks!

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      theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Ram,
      
      The bold text is horrible and the editor is right to ask you to change it back to regular. Sorry, but left aligned is better. You could move it slightly to the right by using bullet points but that probably wouldn't work.
      
      I don't like the image with the ingredient list either; it's ugly, as are the borders around the other images. It would have worked for Squidoo but it doesn't work for HubPages, where formatting is more restrained and 'clean'. However, that's just my opinion and you should probably ignore it
      
      The ingredients mentioned in the main text shouldn't be capitalised. They are not proper nouns.
      
      If your spelling is correct, then don't worry about it.
      
      I love the hub, by the way. Very creative and clever.

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         Ram Ramakrishnanposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Greetings, Bev;
         
         Thanks for your views. I will not contest your observation about bold text looking ugly. But as I have mentioned, it was a trade off for centering text and to my eyes, non-centered text appeared equally bad.
         
         Will figure out a way to change the ingredients list.
         
         I still remember that time seven years ago, when I was inspired to create a zentangles based lens after having seen your work on Squidoo.
         
         It is nice to reconnect after a long while.

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            theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            Yes, I understand, but it will work fine in unboldened (is that a word?) typeface. Why not do it and let us take another look?
            
            Thank you, it is nice

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               Ram Ramakrishnanposted 7 years agoin reply to this

               Yes, Bev. I am revamping the entire presentation. New photo frames; New typeface; new everything. I will require between 24 and 48 hours to accomplish that. Will update you when ready.
               Thanks.

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                  sallybeaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                  I love your writing but I would lose the photo frames.  I don't think the images need frames as the pictures speak for themselves.

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                     Ram Ramakrishnanposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                     Thank you.

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         Ram Ramakrishnanposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Greetings to the editorial team at HubPages.
         The following changes to my hub "Mouth-Watering Medicine" have been made to make it compliant with HubPages standards.
         - All text in normal mode, left aligned, and non-indented
         - Proofreading of text done and corrections made
         - The display of ingredients list for the recipe, changed entirely
         - Yellow border around pictures removed
         Please let me know whether the Hub appears acceptable. Thanks.

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            theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            The editorial team probably don't read the forums, Ram. Why don't you submit it to a niche site and see what happens? You should hear something within a couple of weeks.

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      peachpurpleposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      the photos are alright, maybe you can state those are yours.

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         Ram Ramakrishnanposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks.

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   Venkatachari Mposted 7 years ago

   I find your post quite okay with the only exception of that ingredient list which is in pink colour and not looking nice. It doesn't fit the hub style and decorum.

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      Ram Ramakrishnanposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for the observation. I will set it right very soon.
      Thank you too for your comment on the presentation.

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   Marisa Wrightposted 7 years ago

   Like all publications, HubPages has a certain style that is common to all Hubs.  If you insist on creating your own style, it's unlikely your Hubs will be found acceptable. 
   
   So, you may like a bold font and indented paragraphs, but those are not HubPages' style.  If you want your Hubs to be accepted for the niche sites (which is where the best income is), then you need to look at the style of the Hubs on your target site and be consistent with that style.

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      Ram Ramakrishnanposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      That was rather strident language. A little softness in style of reply too will be appreciated. Thanks anyway for your views.
      It is not my intent to insist on any particular style. If it was so, I wouldn't have asked for a feedback in the first place. Of course, every site will set certain parameters to be followed by those posting articles, and all need to abide by them. You cannot assume that someone is out to challenge your norms merely on the basis of a query seeking a clarification. Your manner of reply was quite rude.

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         Marisa Wrightposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         I see that some other posters criticised your choice of font and layout, yet you did not call them rude.   I did not criticise you and yet I am rude? I merely state a fact - HubPages has a certain style, so you need to abide by that if you want your Hubs to be accepted.

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   Rupert Taylorposted 7 years ago

   Marisa was not rude. Direct yes, and that is the most helpful way of offering advice.

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      theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      +1
      
      Marisa is never rude, Ram. There is nothing in her post other than a statement of fact.

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   Ram Ramakrishnanposted 7 years ago

   Facts can be said nicely too, Bev, as you did earlier ....  but we will leave it at that. I am back to work on the page. Hope I am able to meet the required standards of presentation, which I certainly want to.

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      theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I think I was far ruder than Marisa

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      Marisa Wrightposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I think it's a cultural thing.  I am Australian, and when we want to state a fact, we state a fact.  We do not pussyfoot around with pretty language, which (in our minds) can only confuse matters.

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         Ram Ramakrishnanposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         This banter seems to be having a salutary effect. Probably we should keep it up to understand one another better in cultural terms. With you Bev, I felt an existing connect, like meeting an old friend. A few words that I would normally deem out of place by my standards of politeness, could be overlooked, coming from a friend.
         
         I get your point too, Marisa. I understand that I would have to look at your comments through a slightly different auditory lens. I will learn to do it in time. But the endeavor should be from both ends, should it not? Your frankness with your expressions can be very uncomfortable to one attuned to a different environment. This is not, repeat not, an exercise at being judgmental; it is rather an attempt to find a mutually acceptable manner of exchange. Hope you recognize my need as well.
         My hand of friendship remains extended!

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      psycheskinnerposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      You meet these standard by working with, rather than against, Hubpages style. That is, no bold, left justified, and block paragraphs. I understand that is not to your person preference but it looks fine to readers, and following house style is part of the deal when you write for a content site. Any methods to circumvent it with lines of dashed and fonts will be rejected by the editors.

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         Ram Ramakrishnanposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         I am beginning to feel that my query has been misunderstood. As I have already explained to Bev and Marisa, it is not my intention to question or go against HubPages style or standards. After the shift from Squidoo three years ago, I have just begun to write again and post my work. My activity log will make that clear. These are just exploratory steps to get my bearings upon a new platform. Please do not view my seeking of clarification on the extent of flexibility allowed on HubPages as dissent or defiance. It is not. I am just asking directions to go to the right destination.

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            Ivan Hernandezposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            You should go Look at Marisa's more updated guidelines, or Wrylilt's more updated Articles on optimization. You should probably go to the FAQ about HubPages Article Optimization before editing your article. I read it, by the way. Very Informational. Question, why the wooden borders on the photos?

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               Ram Ramakrishnanposted 7 years agoin reply to this

               Thanks, Ivan.

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   docashpposted 7 years ago

   "Doggedly clever medicos of today"!!
   Lol.
   What do you exactly mean by that?

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      Ram Ramakrishnanposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      My offspring are practicing medics. Some of their perspectives in the context of their work, workplace, and life in general, makes me say that. Are you a medic too?

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   docashpposted 7 years ago

   Yes I am an intensivist.

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   Kierstin Gunsbergposted 7 years ago

   I haven't read all of the comments here but one thing I would do is just change the title to a more searchable term.

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      Ivan Hernandezposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Another thing I would do is change the title into a question. That's what I did to many of my articles.

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   pen promulgatesposted 7 years ago

   Hi Ram,
   As much as I liked your writing style, this is what I suggest:
   I believe, if a moderator has asked to proofread, it's for the readability purpose. Currently, there are too many unnecessary gaps between sentences every where.
   Example:
   'A distinction that could be made between the old and the new
   
   schemes of medicine, both of which are fairly given their due
   
   importance in assisting us during our eventful earthly sojourn;
   
   The gap between 'new' and 'schemes' and so on makes the article difficult to read and understand. As I said, the entire article has such gaps throughout.
   
   Also, sometimes the usage of words is too fancy for the context and topic.
   
   Hope these help
   
   Good luck.

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      Ram Ramakrishnanposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your suggestions.

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    Marisa Wrightposted 7 years ago

    Are you still having trouble, Ram?   If so, I wonder if it's the verse format that causing the problem?   
    
    I think the idea of writing the recipe in verse is clever, but I wonder if the moderator is failing to appreciate that, and is simple taking exception to some of the "fancy wording" that Pen mentions.   Because it's verse, those words are appropriate and important, but the moderator may be focussing too much on practicality.

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       Ram Ramakrishnanposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks, Marisa, to drop by again on the discussion. On technicalities and adherence to norms of appearance, I suppose the Hub page is in reasonable compliance now. I also am willing to modify further, if required, in case some feature is still wanting. On the writing style, however, and as you too have pointed out, presenting a recipe in verse has its problems. Ideally, all problems have solutions, but it requires a level of skill on the part of the writer to make it acceptable to every reader. I seem not to possess that at the moment. May be in time, I will. For now, considering the enormity of effort involved in rewriting the entire stuff and also the fact that a good number of readers have had a positive word for it in its present form, I will retain it as it stands. The future may show some way forward...

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          Marisa Wrightposted 7 years agoin reply to this

          Sorry, I'm not explaining myself well.   I think you have written the text skilfully, but I wonder if the staff member has failed to appreciate the subtlety of it.  They are accustomed to reading recipes in prosaic English, not in poetic English, and they may be missing the point.  I hope when they review it, they will see what you're trying to achieve.

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             theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

             Maybe it should be in Creative Writing?

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