Hey fellas, lets shoot some bull here, and I'll start --
I couple of Wise Guys called me over last nite. I had to meet up with them at Don Massaro's mansion. He owns the entire West Coast. I couldn't say no. Try saying no to a mob boss. You wind up with the fishes, no kidding. So here's me riding in the back seat of a made guy's limo. Crazy thing though is, I'm not scared a bit. Fact is, I've always wanted to meet a Wise Guy. And I'm dressed for it, too - I'm wearing this $5000 Armani Suit. You would think I was going to the damn Oscars. Anyways, we finally get to the old man's crib, and I'm taken upstairs to meet the old man. I'm excited as hell, too, you can tell. So it turned out that the old man is dying, he's got this wuchmacallit cancer of the liver, that's been eating him up for ages. The man is like 300 years, too. That's the thing that kills me about Mob bosses, they're friggin' Methuselahs for heaven's sake! So this old man has a dying wish to request of me. Me! Lil ol' me for pete's sake! You would think he would be asking for a priest or something. Didn't he see The Last Don. So here's the madman stuff this old man asks of me. He heard I'm a big time Hollywood director and all, and that I had a shoot with Scorcese. He wanted to meet the coolest of Directors - Martin Scorcese. And he - the mobb boss wanted me to hook him up with a sit down with the Director before he died. Don Massaro loved Goodfellas. So do I. I told him I would do my best. He told me to do better. I suddenly knew that I would do whatever it takes to get him to meet Scorcese. I didnt want one of those wuchmacallit - 'Communions' to be conducted on me. Or some young Capo making his bones off of me.
As I got home that night, I was in a daze. "What the f' just happened?". What that even real. I downed a shot of Patron to calm my nerves and contemplated getting on the phone right then. I would sound like a madman. Who has the balls to call Marty Scorcese in the middle of the night. That would be professional suicide. Yes, I am still worried about my career, what am I, an a**hole flunky? The last thing I need right now is to disrespect my da** self. I sat down with a pad and pen to record the night while it was still fresh on my mind. Just then, I got a phone call. It was a stereotypical Italian-american dialect. "Come downstairs." Click. I looked out the window and saw a black caddie. Oh sh**, I thought. I hauled it downstairs to meet the biggest, baldest, baddest looking sucker I'd ever seen. "I almost forgot"... He reaches in the back seat, "Da boss wishes for you to work with the utmost promptness". He pulls out a slim black attache case. I am pi**ing my pants... figuratively. He hands it to me and dismisses me with a wave of his meaty hand. I fly up the stairs to my crib, but am afraid to open the case. "This is silly" I say out loud and flip the buckles and open it. Inside is $500,000.00 "Holy SH**!!!"
500 big ones ain't a joke! Much less taking money from Don Massaro. I close the briefcase, and ponder for a sec. I didnt wanna wind up buried in the deserts somewhere, so here's what I did. I picked up the phone and called Scorcese. I've got him on speed dial, you know.
"Hey Marty, guess what I'm looking at"
"Talk fast, a**hole."
"I'm looking at 500 G's."
"That's what you woke me up to tell me? My sheets are worth that much, Vincent."
"It's a gift."
"Oh, sh**! Vinnie, what have you gotten yourself into? And, why in the name of all that is holy, are you tellin' me?"
"I'm hanging up, now."
"I hooked 'im. He's pegged you for the story."
"That's a lot to swallow, Vin."
"I know. I only just found out myself."
"I should run over your face."
"Run over my... Marty. This is Massaro. Forget Goodfellas. We got fu**in' Massaro."
"Tomorrow... 3pm... Meet me at the place."
"Tomorrow it is...."
by mtsi10988 years ago
this hubber has a total of 5 characters, including 2 vowels, in the hubber id?
by charanjeet kaur8 years ago
For me to answer this would be too early but for all those who are here for a long time this is for you. Which of the hubbers here would you want to meet personally.
by yolanda yvette7 years ago
I didn't. I stepped away for about nine months for stupid reasons, which caused me to lose a lot of productivity time.I look at people who have been here for short periods of time who have written more hubs than...
by IslandBites20 months ago
So, another one?South Florida police shoot an autistic man's black caretaker who was lying down with his arms raised."Sir, there's no need for firearms. I’m unarmed, he’s an autistic guy. He got a toy truck in...
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