Boom! What If You Caught Him or Her Doing It?

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   fierycjposted 13 years ago

   This question is restricted to a married situation. You walk in or him or him or her atop, or beneath, or however a woman or man. Whatcha gwan?

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      sandra rinckposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Well I never actually saw them doing it but she was still in the bed.

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         fierycjposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Whatcha do, Sandy?

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            sandra rinckposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Punch him in the face.

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               fierycjposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               for rizzie, Sandy. Ha ha ha. Hey, what about the bimbo, punch her too? Gawd, gimme the whole tale. That's if you dont mind, of course.

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                  sandra rinckposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  Na, I don't mind it was a long time ago.  I came home to get an envelope.  He didn't want me to come in the house.  So I knew something was up. 
                  
                  After I fought through the door and walked in the bedroom.  There she was, surprised as all hell.  I figured since she was stupid enough to still be in the bed when she could obviously hear me at the door, then... I don't know.
                  
                  I just walked back out...still got my envelope though lol and when he tried to explain. I punched him in the face.

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                     fierycjposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                     What're trying to do, Sandy? Get me to love ya? Lol. Ha, what a brilliant way to handle it. Love it! Love it!

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                        sandra rinckposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                        lol- it was one of those times in life where you get so angry and upset at the same time that the only thing you can do is stay calm.  Believe me, I wanted rip his nuts off and feed them to him with his mistress standing behind him to watch him sh*t balls! 

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                     goodfriendiamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                     You know, that is so funny, when they try to explain the plain truth staring at you. Yea what are you going to say, Ah sweet heart, I'm thinking about becoming a gynecologist and this sweet girl just happened to volunteer her time, isn't that so sweet...lol...way to go Sandra

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                        sandra rinckposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                        I know right! Like any excuse is actually an excuse.

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      Poppa Bluesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      One can never say how one would react to such a situation, too many factors would affect the reaction, not the least of which would be your emotional state of mind at the time and whether or not you might, if even subconsciously, expected this to take place.
      
      For me, this would be a clear indication of a problem with the marriage, however, if it has gone this far, it's likely suspicions have been felt for a long time. One, happily married, doesn't just jump into bed with someone at the first opportunity though I'm sure such a thing occurs, it's not the norm.
      
      That being said, I would probably just turn around and leave hoping I wasn't seen, but if I was, it really wouldn't matter except it might ruin their finish. This could give me time to digest and release the emotional stress and calculate the next logical step, which would depend on the answer to the question, is this marriage worth the trouble of saving?
      
      It takes a really strong and forgiving person to forgive such a discretion, but one would have to forget it too and that is quite hard. There would always be a doubt as to the faithfulness of the other party and that's hard to overcome. On the other hand when one is just dating one seems to be able to let go of the thought that the one you're with has entertained other partners.
      
      Bottom line is you can't control what others do, you can only control your own behaviour. Acting on emotion is often something that you'll regret later on and it's best to get composure first before doing anything. There will be time to express your emotions later when it's more appropriate.

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         fierycjposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Very elaborate comment there, poppa. Good one. It would be swell if all men could adopt that cool, mature attitude in such a situation. Thanks for the input.

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            Poppa Bluesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Well having lived it, made the attempt at trying to save the marriage and finally having gone through the divorce, I learned a lot. The hardest part is trying to determine if what you have is worth saving, and the answer to that question is one that both parties must agree upon.

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      wsp2469posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      My now ex-wife simply THOUGHT I was cheating on her and she quietly started a no fault divorce.  I was working for Deja Vu Showgirls at the time.  (I look nice in a tux shirt. . .especially back then when I was 20 pounds lighter!) So she asked me to sleep in the family room on the pullout couch so my hours would not disturb her sleep.  (This was actually her way of getting me out of our bed for a specific period of days).  Eventually, she had to speak to me about it but not before she had all her plans in place.
      She thought I was doing strippers and visiting porn actresses.  I wasn't--technically.  I was getting attention from them but technically I did not have sex with those women!  After the divorce and when she was dating her now second hubby she told me she didn't think I loved her any more and that I was too big for her.  (Wow.  I can't believe I just put that in a public forum!) Seriously, I guess I was internally bruising her when we ,you know, did it.  I mean I knew I made her sore sometimes but she never told me I was actually bruising her inside!
      So she didn't even need to see me with someone else to leave MY ass.  Oh yeah, that was the other thing. I was too big to fit all the way inside her BUT, I digress. . .

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         fierycjposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Didnt I tell you guys in that funniest hubber thread that this guy is damn funny!

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   goodfriendiamposted 13 years ago

   Well I am in the middle of a divorce, but I have thought of this often. I would probably beat the shit out of him, say thanks for the alimony, and walk out. LOL

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      Eaglekiwiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Walk and never look back nor to the side just upward an onward.
      
      I would hope I could maybe hold my anger just long enough to fill the hems of the bedroom curtains with a couple of dead fish though......disconnect the electric( snip snip)....maybe place an advertisement in the local classifieds sections too

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         goodfriendiamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks Eaglekiwi

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            Eaglekiwiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Im not advocating divorce goodfriend, I believe in marriage ,its just that sometimes when nothing helps, its always best to be kind to yourself....step back and say ..what would I do to help this person (meaning yourself)....and then do it....
            For me...it would be to keep my dignity and walk proudly away.

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               goodfriendiamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               My husband didn't cheat on me. Know he was a good person in that way. Know I left him for other reasons, but what I was saying is, a few years back the person that I was,  would have beat the shit out of him....lol

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                  Eaglekiwiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  gotcha

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                     fierycjposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                     goodfriend's a toughie, its easy to tell.

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   dennisemattposted 13 years ago

   turn around and leave. Pack my s**t, and Im gone. Been there,(well, not exactly, I wasnt married, and didnt see it..but still..) done that, never doing it agian.

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   Davinagirl3posted 13 years ago

   That is the ultimate betrayal of trust.  If I were to catch my spouse betraying me, that would be it.  It would be over.  I have had relationships in the past where I tried to work through it, but the trust was gone.  I couldn't get past it.

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   Tom Cornettposted 13 years ago

   If I see you without her, I will kill you.

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      goodfriendiamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Tom me thinks I am quitting your fan club....lol....I believe at one time I would have.  oops not a fan yet! heading over there, but contemplating at the same time....lol

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      Eaglekiwiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      That would be my reason to join ya fan club

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      fierycjposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      What a madman. Lol.

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         Tom Cornettposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Gosh, I would only kill him once. 

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   drummer boyposted 13 years ago

   I have nothing to worry about, but if it were to happen, my reaction would be different depending on where I say them at.  What a horrible thing to think about.

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   Greek Oneposted 13 years ago

   If she was with a guy, I would feel very, very angry and sad
   
   If she was with a girl, I would feel very, very left out and sad

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      fierycjposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Like the song, My girl's got a girlfriend...i'mma still make it do what it do. Lol.

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   fierycjposted 13 years ago

   Basically all the hot wives in here will walk out of their man. Hmmm, wont you even try to work it out? Even for the kids? If there're?

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      Eaglekiwiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Whats to work out CJ...he couldnt keep his willy in his pants?
      
      

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         fierycjposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Dont get me wrong. I'm all for fidelity and all. But what if he slipped, and is remorseful as hell about it. I mean really really sorry. And you had kids and all. You wouldn't even try?

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            Eaglekiwiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            I wouldnt , whats kids got to do with it? they shouldnt be used
            under any circumstance...No divorce is for big people..it shouldnt stop him being a good father...at all
            
            Thats cool if hes sorry...but I wouldnt be able to look at him  the same way...trust broken is broken. A broken cup can be replaced , the heart well , how would you feel CJ?

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               sandra rinckposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               I agree, kids are to be used in any sort of way especially as leverage.  My parents stayed together because of "us" the kids and they made our lives miserable.
               
               Of course it goes a lot further then miserable.

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               fierycjposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               You know what, EK? People think I'm a loose canon. But if that kinda stuff happens to me - God forbid - I would probably be so calm about it. That's the thing with me, I'm calm like Bogart when stuff like that happens. But I probably wouldn't be able to look at her face again, or even talk to her. Overall, I really cant articulate my thoughts on this. That's why I'm asking those of you who are married or have been married.

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      goodfriendiamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      More then likely we did try to work it out, before it all came falling down, to this very thing. So if he wasn't willing to talk, then why would he want to after being caught naked, unless he was afraid of what you might tell others.

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      dennisemattposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I have kids. I was raised by peopel who "stayed together for the kids". they shouldnt have. Its awful to see your parents, they are miserable, you KNOW they dont love each other, and you know they stayed together for you. As a kid, you think it must be your fault your parents are so unhappy. I have been cheated on before, I have respect for people who make it work. I couldnt. no way. My husband knows all this. If he cheated on me, it would be full well knowing the consequences. No more cookies for him!!
      I would never in a million years disrespect him like that, and I demand the same.

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         fierycjposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Now how would he wanna pass up on those cookies! Yummy! Keep a dining seat ready for me, Dennise.

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   Colebabieposted 13 years ago

   Um that happened to my mom when she was engaged before she met my dad. She came home from vacation and her fiance was in bed with another woman. She pulled a shotgun on him and told him to get out of the apartment. Mama don't play!

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    marshallenginesposted 13 years ago

    Honestly, I really don't know but I just Pray to God that won't happen.

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    Greek Oneposted 13 years ago

    what is the person they were doing it with was really realy ugly?
    
    Would anyone feel a bit of pity too?

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    RedElfposted 13 years ago

    There are no valid excuses or reasons for breaking someone's trust no matter what we tell ourselves to justify the act. I didn't walk in on them, just saw the loving and lingering hugs at the airport - in front of me! The partner! HAH! That was enough to provoke a most civilized but candid confrontation and now I no longer have a partner. I suppose, in all honesty, I didn't have one anymore by the time of the "hugs" - at least not in their minds

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       Poppa Bluesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Well not to justify it but these things usually happen for a reason. Usually someone in the relationship is not getting something they need and lines of communication break down leading them to seek what they need elsewhere. The important thing to remember when someone cheats on you, is it's not your fault.

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    Greek Oneposted 13 years ago

    I understand what you are saying, but what if we are talking ugly BEYOND historical measures.. i mean the kind of ugly that makes you look twice just to make sure she/he is doing it with another human being?  The kind of ugly that makes you take out your cell phone's camera and post a picture on YouTube?  Wouldnt that take a bit of the pain's edge away?

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       fierycjposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Ha ha ha cant take it anymore. I'm fanning ya right away!

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    SweetiePieposted 13 years ago

    I would probably just leave him. It is simple as that for me .

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    Michael Achillesposted 13 years ago

    Pray hard I didn't have any children with her. Also pray I had the strength not to shoot anyone.....

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