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What to do when a "friend" is smothering you?

  1. fastfreta profile image79
    fastfretaposted 8 years ago

    I wrote a hub here on the pages, entitled "THEY MAKE ME SICK, I LOATHE HER, HE'S SO IRRITATING,' which generated a lot of buzz.  I was encouraged to put it here and get feed back.  Basically the hub was about a self centered ungrateful, complaining individual, with no friends, due to her personality.  However, the one person that hangs on feels smothered.  The question is how would you handle the situation?  You might have to read the hub to get the full picture.

  2. profile image0
    \Brenda Scullyposted 8 years ago

    hard to know really...... if you don't care if you never see this person again, just be so unkind to her that she never sees you again.  If you do want to keep her but not as a smothering friend well we will have to work out a different tactic... read the hub....

  3. Lisa HW profile image73
    Lisa HWposted 8 years ago

    I read the Hub, but I may be misinterpreting the point of it.

    First, kids ask a lot of questions.  They don't mean anything by it, and an adult who doesn't understand children's natural wish to get to know something about an adult who interests them; it's kind of the adult who needs an attitude re-work.

    Having a nice home and a good job are just what some people have worked hard to have.  The same goes for having a spouse.  So, I don't see anything the host/hostess are being/doing as objectionable other than complaining.  Nobody likes to hear non-stop complaining, even if some complaints are actually legitimate.  It gets to be a drag after a while.

    If I were the grouchy guest in that scenario I wouldn't go there for dinner very often; and when I did go I'd just go with the idea of putting up with stuff I wasn't thrilled for a couple of hours.  We all have control over how often we see someone (even a relative), so keeping it to a minimum would reduce feeling "smothered".  Or, the guest could calmly talk to the other person sometimes and say something like, "I really like having a chance to visit, but I have so many things going on in my life right now, I'd like to keep the conversation positive.  It's not that I don't care what you're going through, but I have so much going on myself right now I'd just like to give both our brains a rest from negative stuff."

  4. fastfreta profile image79
    fastfretaposted 8 years ago

    Lisa HW, my hub was focusing on the complainer, and the complaints that she had about everything and everybody, also how she made everyone's life unpleasant. She was especially making the life of her "friend" miserable. I am in total agreement with your comments.