Why does my Cock seem so ruffled in the mornings

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   theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

   My male chicken (cock) always seems very ruffled in the mornings his feathers are all over the place...have I put him in with too many hens....there are six hens in with him....

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      Arthur Fontesposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Is he being henpecked?

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      manlypoetrymanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I'm sure he can do something about this...Sounds like he just isn't putting his head into it !

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      prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      oh good luck to the six chickens hehehe

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      yoshi97posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I checked with your 'vet'. He said you were feeding your prized pet too much Viagra and you need to stop before blindness sets in.

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      falcon64posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Hahaha....Don't used men chicken(cock). Used Rooster and please give him a breed.

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      frogdroppingposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Now how many Cocks ever get to lay with so many chicks at once?

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      LEWJposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      All that extra company is bound to ruffle a cock--- mornin',  noon OR night!    Sometimes cock supplements can calm a cock down---even big fat, thick cocks.      The bigger they are, the more supplement it takes to calm those big fat cocks.  You might even notice that your cock will get hard after being exposed to all that company.   Sometimes the biggest, hardest cocks require several pounds of supplement, while the little cocks only need a few calm-down pills. Now some of these supplements might cause a little stiffness in the cock at first, but regular application of these aids will in time eliminate that initial reaction in a healthy cock.
      
      I can recommend these aids because I once had a cock named Dick who had the same problem yours still has.
      
      May I suggest COCK DE-RUFFLER pills, or THIK COCK softeners; the softeners really do a job on a ruffled cock.    They wilt it right down to the barn floor!   No more loose feathers after this!  Your ruffled cock will be not only placcid but positively FLACCID for at least 34 hours.  Another good supplement, called 890 COCK OIL and sold by The Duke Of Oils Inc.,  is used worldwide for soothing excited cocks.  If your cock gets out of hand again, just pour a handful of this wondrous oil over it for fine and quick results my friend.
      
      If by any chance those don't work, you can try SUPERCOCK DOWN tablets---these have a 30-day money back guarantee, and boy oh boy, do they calm down a rowdy cock!   All the hens in the neighborhood won't be able to excite your cock after a dose of THIS formula.   One dose lasts for a full 90 days, no matter what happens to your cock or how much company it gets.  If you do choose to use it, your ruffled cock problems will disappear at once.
      
      On the other hand (or IN the other hand), if you want to get your cock up and running in the morning, there's an excellent new supplement called  PUSSYWILLOW CREAM that's got a long list of amino acids in it--perfect for unresponsive cocks.  It is said that an improvement on this formula is called PUSSYWILLOWS PLUS.   That stuff's supposed to have been laboratory tested, and to have raised a dead cock up to a full stand in 3.7 minutes with all feathers intact!    This is supposed to have happened in front of an audience of American scientists last year, but I can't vouch for it.   Anyway, if it can resurrect dead cocks, I'd give it a try....

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      spiderspunposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      He is just shaking off a good night with the chicks and ruffling his feathers to look good incase there are any new chickens to the hen yard. He also wants to look bigger to chace off any other cocks that might go after his hens

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   Shadesbreathposted 14 years ago

   HHAHAHAHA that's so funny.  It reminds me of when my children were in 4th grade.  Thanks for that.

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   Daniel Carterposted 14 years ago

   Perhaps the job is a bit too big for him and the hens are getting the best of him.

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   theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

   This is a very serious topic and not to be taken lightly.....what if he dies through the night...what will I wake up to...

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      Wayne Orvisburgposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      A stiff cock?

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         Daniel Carterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         A stiff cock that doesn't go away needs to be treated medically, they say. However, if it's stiff permanently, I think the only solution is to remove it.

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            Has_aWayWithWordsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Medical Attention??? Are you joking, every time I see a viagra commercial that says see your doctor if you have an erection lasting longer than 4 hours I think to myself if I had a 4 hour erection I am not wasting it on my doctor.

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               Daniel Carterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Not that I agree with doctors anyway, just quoting recommended protocol.
               
               A stiff chicken is a hard thing to hide. Best to steer clear of glass houses, etc.
               As for choking, I don't recommend the standard ringing of the neck. Far too brutal. There are more creative ways to handle such a problem.

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   theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

   Daniel hen pecked I think they call it...maybe its all too much for him...

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   theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

   Wayne thanks for that, I am doing all I can to avoid it but It looks like its going to happen some morning....

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   theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

   Arthur I just dont know, when I look at him in the morning he looks wrecked.....

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   Wayne Orvisburgposted 14 years ago

   If it is henpecking, you need to find out which one is responsible, then choke that chicken! Oh god, I can't stop.

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      J. Kummposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Oh you are all too funny. Thanks for the laugh today Hubbers.

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   theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

   Are you suggesting a hands on approach Wayne....I just dont know if I could pull it

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    Wayne Orvisburgposted 14 years ago

    Just remember, when you have to choke the chicken, it's best to start out slowly. You can't just rush in and start choking away.

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    blondepoetposted 14 years ago

    To be it sounds like the poor cock has been up all night.

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    Arthur Fontesposted 14 years ago

    I do not know what is happening but something is fowl.

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    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    blondepoet, it does seem that way, I just dont know, I think I will have to take matters in hand....

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    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    it certainly is Arthur...

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    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    daniel I hear what you are saying, but I just dont know if I could be that cruel....

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    Has_aWayWithWordsposted 14 years ago

    LMAO,  How can we really take this thread seriously  there is just too much fun to be had with this one

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       tequilarosemama4posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       your right. if i was a guy and had that problem i would look for the nearest strip joint or something.
       
       but on the serious side i don't know much about chickens but if it seems to be creating a problem for the cock then put him in a sperate pen. but best of luck resolving this

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    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    has_awaywithwords certainly not surely its a vet that needs to see a Cock that is in difficulty....

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    blondepoetposted 14 years ago

    I have been searching earnestly for a solution to this medical problem across the many pages of the net. I hate to break this to you but I am now quite adamant it is a condition they call "Cockarigmaritis", thus meaning your cock has no balls. I personally would be interigating the chickens, and confirming what eggs they are actually sitting on.

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    mega1posted 14 years ago

    I don't know what is wrong with your cock, but I have a pussy that is awfully depressed every morning - maybe its just the cold winter weather and the lack of sunshine!

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       blondepoetposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Hahahahaha

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    Has_aWayWithWordsposted 14 years ago

    maybe your pussy got wet then began to freeze with the cold weather.

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       mega1posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       no, I'm quite sure she hasn't even been outside - but the nights are awfully long this time of year - if she doesn't perk up this spring, I'll have to take her to that cute vet!

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          Has_aWayWithWordsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          LOL  well if you go see that vet you better be prepared in case he has one of those cocks that is ruffled, the pussy might get beat up by the ruffled cock....LMAO   this is getting so bad.

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    Justine76posted 14 years ago

    ok....    that question is hilarious, but just in case your truly concerned for your cock...
    'henpecked' has nothing to do with the male...  hens peck each other to be lead hen. if you have less then 4 hens....your cock will get bored and you will have a really upset and bald lead hen. hes ruffled for one of 2 reasons, either hes chilly, or..well...how do YOU  wake up?....they ruffle up to show off   

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    mega1posted 14 years ago

    well, I'll have to keep you posted!

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    Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years ago

    Maybe he's upset about the frozen tits?

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    AnythingArtzyposted 14 years ago

    Oh, I see you were talking about a rooster....... 

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       blondepoetposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Oh shame on you what were you thinking ROFL

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    mega1posted 14 years ago

    yes, a rooster and a cat!

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       AnythingArtzyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I couldn't help myself I had to go there. so what kind of posts do ya think would be here if, you know, it wasn't really about a rooster.
       
       Too  funny Id imagine lol lol lol
       
       I've already laughed so hard at the present posts lol lol

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    mega1posted 14 years ago

    Seriously, I was thinking that maybe some critter had been after your cock at night, trying to get hold of him!  and maybe he's having to fight for his life all night long!  But even that sounds risque!

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    Isabelle22posted 14 years ago

    Hahaha this thread is hilarious. It nearly made me choke on my cornflakes.

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       AnythingArtzyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I agree, I have never laughed so hard or enjoyed a thread as much as this.

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          Isabelle22posted 14 years agoin reply to this

          God what a dry world it would be without them lol

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    waynetposted 14 years ago

    Ruffled cock....how very dare you!!! oh as in hens, chickens and all that jazz, pleased to meet you cock, not been doing anything with them chickens have you you shouldn't have?

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    mega1posted 14 years ago

    I think the only solution might be to sit up all night with your cock and see what's going on!

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       waynetposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I tried that and 2 to 3 minutes later I smoked a cigarette and fell to sleep, I was tired!

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          mega1posted 14 years agoin reply to this

          So you found out what was going on, then?

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             waynetposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             Yep, did  the five knuckle shuffle with my cock a doodle doo, had a cig and fell asleep

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             mega1posted 14 years agoin reply to this

             Because I figure you'll have to keep doing that, until you can figure out what to do about it!  Or scare the critter away, maybe!

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    mega1posted 14 years ago

    I just can't seem to leave it alone~!  Can't keep my mouth closed!

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    Has_aWayWithWordsposted 14 years ago

    I have never really been one to find a stiff cock appealing but for some reason I keep coming back here...lol

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       AnythingArtzyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       though I DO find them appealing I still can't get away from this thread either. Oh we need more like them. I love to get ornery and enjoy harmless fun like this.

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    lyricsingrayposted 14 years ago

    someone said cock.

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       lyricsingrayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       again.

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          Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this

          porn?....oh, wrong thread....

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       Isabelle22posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I'm sure I heard the word cock somewhere.

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          AnythingArtzyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          has a nice ring to it doesn't it  lol lol

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    mega1posted 14 years ago

    They're really kinda pretty when they're all ruffled up like that, don't ya think?

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       AnythingArtzyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       LMBO LOL LOL LOL

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    AnythingArtzyposted 14 years ago

    have you tried singing to it? LOL

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    Paradise7posted 14 years ago

    man the ruffled cock grabbed EVERYONE!  Whoa boy!!!

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    mega1posted 14 years ago

    yep, don't worry about us - nobody here but us chickens!

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    Has_aWayWithWordsposted 14 years ago

    how did you know my cock had a ring on it?

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       AnythingArtzyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       really now care to show and tell? lol lol lol

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       blondepoetposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       No wonder the poor thing was up all night

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    mega1posted 14 years ago

    and they wonder why we get addicted to the Hub Forums! 

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       AnythingArtzyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       God help me I can't leave this thread. lol lol lol  It's way to much fun. lol lol

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    Has_aWayWithWordsposted 14 years ago

    lol I can't show pictures, the internet police may come arrest me for animal cruelty

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       AnythingArtzyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       darn, you were talking about your pet??. I'm sooooooooo  disappointed  wink wink lol lol lol

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    Paradise7posted 14 years ago

    Six hens, one rooster, no wonder the poor sod is ruffled...

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    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    It is 8.30am here in Ireland, I have just had a good look at my Cock and the news is not good, as I held him in my hand he appeared limp but not lifeless, I stroked his neck and he appeared to react, I have left him with the hens now and I will have another look at him later...

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    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    Do I have to wait for New York to wake up to get help with my Cock...it is 11.30am here in Ireland...

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    Niteriterposted 14 years ago

    Have you tried calling him by name? You did give him a name, didn't you?

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    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    I did initially call him Biffo which is the nick name of our Prime Minister in Ireland....but he simply sat around and done nothing.....should I call him Tiger

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    Niteriterposted 14 years ago

    I have a critter in my coop who behaves a lot like Biffo. I tried beating him but that didn't work. I guess I won't be of much help to you.

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    Audreveaposted 14 years ago

    Oh dear. It's not supposed to be ruffled at all.

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    thirdmilleniumposted 14 years ago

    For a moment there I pictured another kind of the description being ruffled. Thank goodness it is not that!

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    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    Thanks anyway Niter, I would not like to beat him, I just like holding him and stroking him......

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    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    Audrevea, I know, what should I do, stroking him seems to work sometimes but other times he seems lifeless and limp....

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       soni2006posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Ur cock needs a Swedish massage. Ask your hens if they can give some or you have hire a cock massage expert anyway. Massage relieves all types of stiffness and lifelessness of all cocks making your cock smooth, soft and ready for next breed. Also shave it a bit, even the hens love it. Isn't it hens?

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          Hmrjmr1posted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Thats a razor blade to far...Can't afford to nic a good ol faithful cock now can we??

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    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    thirdmillenium, I dont know what people are thinking sometimes, here is me, Cock in hand, lifeless and limp and people find that funny or amusing....am I missing something..

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