I'd like feedback on my article: Death of Christians in the Middle East

1. 77

   Kenny MGposted 6 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article Death of Christians in the Middle East. What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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2. 94

   Jeremy Gillposted 6 years ago

   Two things immediately stood out. One, this article lacks images, which should always be used to give sore eyes a break and provide a visual flair. Two, the text needs to be formatted better. Put the different topics ("Rescue Mission" and such) in their own text capsules. Good luck.

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   1. 77

      Kenny MGposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Duly noted, thanks

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3. 96

   Rupert Taylorposted 6 years ago

   What Jeremy says plus a few observations on this paragraph:
   
   
   "Christians in the Middle East and the state of Israel (Isn't Israel part of the Middle East? are similarly under attack, recently from the ‘Caliphate’ (Why is caliphate in quote marks?) and from western governments and organisations. While Hamas, the terrorist organisation that joined with Iran and vowed the total annihilation of Israel (, needs a comma to mark the end of the clause) launch another violent protest against the Jewish state. Interestingly western governments, the United Nations, Europe, and Britain being among the most vocal in condemning Israel for Palestinian death (deaths - plural). The tragedy is even starker as Christians living in lands formerly under the control of the ‘Caliphate’ have been betrayed by many in these same Western government and international organisations. It’s a fact (No. It's an opinion) that governments pay lip service or ignored (ignore - verbs need to agree on tense) the tragic fate of Christians in Middle Eastern states.
   
   I confess to not reading the rest, but I suspect there are other similar errors elsewhere.
   
   Also, solid blocks of type are a turn off to readers; you need to break up your text into shorter paragraphs.

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   1. 77

      Kenny MGposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Duly noted, dont agree with all, but the formatting, I will address in due course. Thanks

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4. 76

   lobobrandonposted 6 years ago

   You have your main hub title, and immediately below that, you have the title repeated. Deleted this repeated title. Also, delete the Christianity Under Threat heading. The introduction doesn't usually have a title. You need an introduction followed by headings and subheadings. This is how it usually works (writing in general).

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5. 76

   lobobrandonposted 6 years ago

   I also see a blank table: What are the Books of the Bible in order of Appearance?
   
   Is this relevant to the hub? Even if it were filled in, I don't see how this adds to your hub topic. Only include a table if you really need one.

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6. 97

   aesta1posted 6 years ago

   I agree with lobobrandon that you need to fill in the table or take it out. Also, the Amazon module unless you place a description from your own experience of the product you are promoting. Edit your work, i.e. ...the world becoming intolerable or better to use intolerant in your poll question. I think generalizations in an essay like this will not be credible. Place numbers and data to support how Western churches have left the Christians with no help. The data I know is that many go out of their way to help. Support your points with data so your article becomes more credible.

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   1. 77

      Kenny MGposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks

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