I'd like feedback on my article: Trump's New Challenge in the Middle East

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  1. Ismahane Saadi profile image60
    Ismahane Saadiposted 6 weeks ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
    Here is my article: Trump's New Challenge in the Middle East (must be signed in to view)

  2. theraggededge profile image97
    theraggededgeposted 6 weeks ago

    Hi there,

    Firstly, you cannot use a watermarked, clearly copyright image from Getty.

    Secondly, you need to break up some of your long sentences. For example, this is the first sentence, "The depth of the difference between Republican and Democratic politics in the United States is determined by the difference between the president-elect, and this has become more evident between Obama's democratic policy and Trump's Republican policy."

    It makes no sense.

    This is the second sentence: "Obama said from Cairo that u.S. policy in the Middle East in particular and the world in general, based on tolerance and the spread of democracy, then came Trump, the leader of the Republican Party in the United States of America, and from the same program to veto Obama's words by the Secretary of State The United States, saying that the removal of the United States from the region has led to chaos, noting that its return is strong, and that its presence will not be formal, but a political, economic and military presence if necessary."

    I can't read any more. Sorry.

    In your profile you announce that, "I have a great skill in writing." I hate to be the one to tell you, but you don't.

    1. Ismahane Saadi profile image60
      Ismahane Saadiposted 6 weeks agoin reply to this

      Hi
      I love your reality , as for your talk about the technique ,it is a typographical error , and I will prove that I have a great skills in writing, Of course ,their criticism of me made me enthusiastic , you pushed me on to correct my mistakes and present my best.
      Thank you .

  3. Rupert Taylor profile image95
    Rupert Taylorposted 6 weeks ago

    Perhaps, you have skill in your native language but not in English. To be successful on HubPages you have to write in near-perfect English. As theraggededge notes I could not unravel the meaning of your rambling sentences.

    Also, including a link to your website is not allowed here. It's self-promotion and HP doesn't accept that.

    1. Ismahane Saadi profile image60
      Ismahane Saadiposted 6 weeks agoin reply to this

      Your words are true, my articles in Arabic are amazing and this is not self-admiration, but I can overcome this language barrier and it is not a problem for me,
      And I want you to let you know that I don't have a private website.

      1. theraggededge profile image97
        theraggededgeposted 6 weeks agoin reply to this

        That may be so, but you have completely ignored my advice not to use Getty images and have published another article with them included.

        HubPages will not permit you to use them. Getty Images will not permit you to use them, so why include them?

        Your English needs a lot of work, so to keep publishing low quality articles is a waste of your time (and ours). My advice is to go away, work on your English, then come back and try again.

        You can find out more about HiubPages' publishing standards here: https://hubpageshelp.com/

  4. Ismahane Saadi profile image60
    Ismahane Saadiposted 6 weeks ago

    You can say what you want but in a more gentle way, reflects the image of the site, you can reject me for the weakness of my English simply, without attacking or hurting feelings, you can delete my account with you, I am at least trying to speak your language,
    Sorry for the inconvenience.
    Peace be upon you.

    1. theraggededge profile image97
      theraggededgeposted 6 weeks agoin reply to this

      I have not attacked you or hurt your feelings. I have stated the problems in a factual way. If you are reading something else into my words, then that is your interpretation. If I have to give someone the same advice more than once, then clearly, they are not paying attention.

      I am British. We do not dress sentences up in gentle flowery phrases in order to make people feel special.

      Take the advice, or leave it. It does not matter to me.

      1. Ismahane Saadi profile image60
        Ismahane Saadiposted 6 weeks agoin reply to this

        The advice has its condition, including not break the moral ,and to encourage more progress and this is what you lack  ,I don't want poetic words ,I want a way that expresses a strong personality,a high morals,I am an Arab Muslim Algeria , good speech is among our most important qualities and priorities

        1. theraggededge profile image97
          theraggededgeposted 6 weeks agoin reply to this

          I am not here to express my personality or my morals, I am here to respond to your request for feedback. If you can't handle criticism, then don't ask for it.

          1. Ismahane Saadi profile image60
            Ismahane Saadiposted 6 weeks agoin reply to this

            I told you from the beginning that I loved your honesty and your comments in place, and I'm going to correct my mistakes, but your response was offensive and had nothing to do with criticism

            1. theraggededge profile image97
              theraggededgeposted 6 weeks agoin reply to this

              Which part of my response was offensive?

              1. Ismahane Saadi profile image60
                Ismahane Saadiposted 6 weeks agoin reply to this

                In your profile you announce that, "I have a great skill in writing." I hate to be the one to tell you, but you don't.
                advice is to go away, work on your English, then come back and try again.
                Take the advice, or leave it. It does not matter to me.
                That is your offensive speech with me

                1. theraggededge profile image97
                  theraggededgeposted 6 weeks agoin reply to this

                  When someone boasts that they 'have a great skill in writing', and then proceeds to demonstrate the opposite, then it is kinder to let them know the truth, don't you think?

                  And my advice to go away and improve your English and then come back and try again is perfectly valid, as well as kind. As I said there's no point in wasting your time if your English is not up to the required standard. We can't fix it for you, and when it is beyond the mere correction of a few grammatical errors, then your skills need intensive work.

                  The 'take it or leave it' remark was made after you trashed the advice I gave you. So yes, take it and learn from it, or ignore it and carry on wasting your time.

                  You can have a hissy fit and take offence, or you can act like a professional and put the advice into action. You get to choose.

  5. RTalloni profile image87
    RTalloniposted 6 weeks ago

    The sentence phrasing is difficult to follow. When a president's name is used it is preceded by the word president with an upper case P, as in President Trump. It is offensive not to do so as well as incorrect. Inconsistencies in form, errors with punctuation, and more make reading the post problematic.

  6. Ismahane Saadi profile image60
    Ismahane Saadiposted 6 weeks ago

    Thank you for this constructive criticism, your good feedback, and your best advice.

  7. Claire Helpful profile image85
    Claire Helpfulposted 6 weeks ago

    You also need to perfect your punctuation.

 
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