New joke

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  1. DzyMsLizzy profile image94
    DzyMsLizzyposted 2 years ago

    I just picked this one up from Facebook:
    https://hubstatic.com/14171314.jpg

    1. MizBejabbers profile image89
      MizBejabbersposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Çolor me backward, but I've never heard that one. Sounds like my husband. Thanks for the laugh.

    2. luvlywacky profile image82
      luvlywackyposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      hahaha wow it's so nice...

  2. profile image0
    Bob Bambergposted 2 years ago

    That one's been going around for a few years, Lizzie.  Each time there seems to be a different version of what he should send her, leading up to the punch line.  Still gets a chuckle...and a lot of us men see the perfect logic in it smile

  3. DzyMsLizzy profile image94
    DzyMsLizzyposted 2 years ago

    lol Indeed, Bob!

    1. liesl5858 profile image87
      liesl5858posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Really funny DzyMsLizzy

  4. quicksand profile image81
    quicksandposted 2 years ago

    Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!
    (please approve my comment!)

    1. DzyMsLizzy profile image94
      DzyMsLizzyposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      comments here get neither approved nor disapproved unless by staff due to some violation.
      Only on peoples' articles can comments be denied.
      Thanks for joining in; I'm glad you enjoyed the joke.

      1. quicksand profile image81
        quicksandposted 2 years agoin reply to this

        In fact, I laughed a lot more than I've scripted!

  5. DzyMsLizzy profile image94
    DzyMsLizzyposted 2 years ago

    Here's another; it may be an 'old chestnut' as the saying goes, and it's a tad bit on the 'naughty' side, but has no bad words....

    Q:  "How do you make a hormone?"

    A:  "Don't pay her."

    lol

    1. snakeslane profile image82
      snakeslaneposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      smile

  6. cheaptrick profile image76
    cheaptrickposted 2 years ago

    I was walking through the park when I saw a man Mugging a little old lady!
    I Knew I had to get involved so I jumped right in!
    It took a while...but we finally got her purse from her...


    A Doctor is contemplating the fact that he occasionally "Sleeps" with his patients when the tiny voice of his conscience whisper's..."Yes...but you're a Veterinarian"...

    She was lovely with nothing between us
    I thought she was my 'Venus'
    till I reached beneath her skirt
    And grabbed hold of her........

    1. DzyMsLizzy profile image94
      DzyMsLizzyposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      lol

  7. snakeslane profile image82
    snakeslaneposted 2 years ago

    Trying to find a good joke, Yikes! I need to get out more...

  8. DzyMsLizzy profile image94
    DzyMsLizzyposted 2 years ago

    A fellow walks into a bar, and notices the bartender carrying on with all sorts of acrobatics and juggling of bottles, glasses, and spritzing soda from 4 feet away.  After watching this for a while, the guy asks the bartender why he is going through all this trouble to create such a scene.
    The barkeep responds, "Well, everything I do is so easy for me, I have to throw in challenges to keep things interesting."
    The customer ponders this for a while, and finally asks, "Well, then, I do have one question for you..."
    The bartender cuts in with, "Oh, I know what you're thinking, you naughty boy!  And the answer is, standing up.  In a hammock."

    1. snakeslane profile image82
      snakeslaneposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      LOL tongue

  9. MizBejabbers profile image89
    MizBejabbersposted 2 years ago

    Young newlyweds rented a room in a rooming house from an old lady. She didn't hear anything from them or even see them for a week. Finally when they came out, she asked them how they had been surviving without meals and other necessities.

    The young lady said, "We've been living on the fruits of love."

    The old lady answered, "I wish you'd stop throwing the peelings out the window. They're choking my chickens to death."

    When I was in the third grade, I heard that joke at school and told it to my mother. Normally, she would have taken a switch to me, but realizing that I had no idea of its meaning, she laughed until her eyes watered.

    1. DzyMsLizzy profile image94
      DzyMsLizzyposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      lol

  10. shanmarie profile image85
    shanmarieposted 2 years ago

    Your story about your mother,MzB, just made me laugh. It's better than the joke! Thanks.

  11. shanmarie profile image85
    shanmarieposted 2 years ago

    Hi Dzy,  I hadn't heard this one either. Thanks for the chuckle.

 
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