New joke

1. 85

   DzyMsLizzyposted 6 years ago

   I just picked this one up from Facebook:
   

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   1. 90

      MizBejabbersposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Çolor me backward, but I've never heard that one. Sounds like my husband. Thanks for the laugh.

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   2. 82

      luvlywackyposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      hahaha wow it's so nice...

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2. 0

   Bob Bambergposted 6 years ago

   That one's been going around for a few years, Lizzie.  Each time there seems to be a different version of what he should send her, leading up to the punch line.  Still gets a chuckle...and a lot of us men see the perfect logic in it

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3. 85

   DzyMsLizzyposted 6 years ago

   Indeed, Bob!

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   1. 83

      liesl5858posted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Really funny DzyMsLizzy

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4. 83

   quicksandposted 6 years ago

   Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!
   (please approve my comment!)

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   1. 85

      DzyMsLizzyposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      comments here get neither approved nor disapproved unless by staff due to some violation.
      Only on peoples' articles can comments be denied.
      Thanks for joining in; I'm glad you enjoyed the joke.

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      1. 83

         quicksandposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         In fact, I laughed a lot more than I've scripted!

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5. 85

   DzyMsLizzyposted 6 years ago

   Here's another; it may be an 'old chestnut' as the saying goes, and it's a tad bit on the 'naughty' side, but has no bad words....
   
   Q:  "How do you make a hormone?"
   
   A:  "Don't pay her."
   
   

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   1. 81

      snakeslaneposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      

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6. 75

   cheaptrickposted 6 years ago

   I was walking through the park when I saw a man Mugging a little old lady!
   I Knew I had to get involved so I jumped right in!
   It took a while...but we finally got her purse from her...
   
   
   A Doctor is contemplating the fact that he occasionally "Sleeps" with his patients when the tiny voice of his conscience whisper's..."Yes...but you're a Veterinarian"...
   
   She was lovely with nothing between us
   I thought she was my 'Venus'
   till I reached beneath her skirt
   And grabbed hold of her........

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   1. 85

      DzyMsLizzyposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      

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7. 81

   snakeslaneposted 6 years ago

   Trying to find a good joke, Yikes! I need to get out more...

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8. 85

   DzyMsLizzyposted 6 years ago

   A fellow walks into a bar, and notices the bartender carrying on with all sorts of acrobatics and juggling of bottles, glasses, and spritzing soda from 4 feet away.  After watching this for a while, the guy asks the bartender why he is going through all this trouble to create such a scene.
   The barkeep responds, "Well, everything I do is so easy for me, I have to throw in challenges to keep things interesting."
   The customer ponders this for a while, and finally asks, "Well, then, I do have one question for you..."
   The bartender cuts in with, "Oh, I know what you're thinking, you naughty boy!  And the answer is, standing up.  In a hammock."

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   1. 81

      snakeslaneposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      LOL

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9. 90

   MizBejabbersposted 6 years ago

   Young newlyweds rented a room in a rooming house from an old lady. She didn't hear anything from them or even see them for a week. Finally when they came out, she asked them how they had been surviving without meals and other necessities.
   
   The young lady said, "We've been living on the fruits of love."
   
   The old lady answered, "I wish you'd stop throwing the peelings out the window. They're choking my chickens to death."
   
   When I was in the third grade, I heard that joke at school and told it to my mother. Normally, she would have taken a switch to me, but realizing that I had no idea of its meaning, she laughed until her eyes watered.

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   1. 85

      DzyMsLizzyposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      

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10. 65

    shanmarieposted 6 years ago

    Your story about your mother,MzB, just made me laugh. It's better than the joke! Thanks.

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11. 65

    shanmarieposted 6 years ago

    Hi Dzy,  I hadn't heard this one either. Thanks for the chuckle.

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