Feedback on my writing

1. 92

   chenjdwposted 6 years ago

   How to get this writing featured:
   Ignorance
   https://hubpages.com/education/_Ignorance
   
   

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2. 69

   SmartAndFunposted 6 years ago

   Your article needs some grammar corrections. Nothing huge, but there are a few mistakes. For example, in the first paragraph, "slaughter" should be "slaughtered," and each sentence should end with a question mark rather than a period. Read it aloud, slowly, and you will find a few more.
   
   Otherwise, I am not sure what the purpose of this article is. Can you hone in on its purpose and further develop the content and the title? No one is going to Google the word "ignorance," which is the article's current title. Think about what the main question your article is answering and use that question as the title. Is it "What is the difference between the psyches of humans and animals?" or "How are humans more complex than other animals?" Assume Google is the main source of traffic for your article, therefore the article and its title must ask/answer a question that someone would ask Google. Also consider whether or not this is even a question that anyone would ask and therefore needs answering. Is there a slightly different angle you could take on this topic which more people might be searching for?
   
   I'm not sure why your subheads are "Harvest" and "Benefit." These words don't seem to have much to do with the content that follows them.
   
   As for photos and artwork, some of them photos seem rather random, while others seem pixelated or otherwise low quality. Can you find some which are higher quality, more attractive and more relevant?
   
   I think a more clear, deliberate introduction and conclusion would also help your article. A clear introduction will give readers an idea of your article's purpose and topic, while a conclusion will reinforce your main message while providing the reader with a satisfactory sense of completion and closure.

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   1. 92

      chenjdwposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for taking time to read and make the wonderful suggestions. They give me a perspective of what most people are interesting in and what I am capable of doing.

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