I'd like feedback on my article: Self-esteem for a better health and wealth...

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  1. denniswebala profile image60
    denniswebalaposted 7 days ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
    Here is my article: Self-esteem for a better health and wealth living (must be signed in to view)

    1. quotations profile image93
      quotationsposted 7 days agoin reply to this

      You need to flesh out and expand the points that you make. You cannot pass the quality assessment with an article consisting mainly of bullet points. Also double check your grammar.

    2. Hat Whit profile image82
      Hat Whitposted 7 days agoin reply to this

      Hey Dennis,  I agree with "quotations" who said you need to expand on the points you make. In fact, each one of your bullet points should be expanded to a paragraph (or more!). One bullet suggests that Self esteem = safety? give me examples of where you see this happening and in what venues. Unpacking that alone could turn into an article all by itself.

      You aren't wrong to use bullets. on the web they help a reader find their way around. Think of using them in two different ways:
      1) They offer broad generalizations you intend to expand on later. This kind of bullet will act as signposts for your reader by saying "watch for my explanation of these points throughout  my article or section of my article.
      2) The become take aways or the usable conclusions you've just drawn from the discussion in your article that your reader can take away with them after reading it.

      The upside of this criticism is that you have tons of ideas and this will probably give birth to many articles by the time you unpack all those bullets

      Good luck!

      1. denniswebala profile image60
        denniswebalaposted 7 days agoin reply to this

        Thank you very much.

  2. Rupert Taylor profile image97
    Rupert Taylorposted 7 days ago

    You need to read the guidelines for writing at HubPages; you will find them here https://hubpageshelp.com/

    What you have written is a series of bullet points rather than a magazine-style article. There are also several grammar errors.

    1. denniswebala profile image60
      denniswebalaposted 7 days agoin reply to this

      Thank you very much


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