I'd like feedback on my article: Child Labor to Suffer on the Road.

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   Siddiq Sarkarposted 5 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: Child Labor to Suffer on the Road. (must be signed in to view)

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      AliciaCposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I’m afraid that the article has many English errors that need to be corrected. You need to improve your knowledge of the language or find someone who is willing to help you rewrite the article and eliminate the errors.
      
      Your poll has no votes, yet it’s closed to voting, which seems strange. The ratings capsule is generally used on recipe articles, not informational ones. I don’t think that you need to use point form in your story. Paragraphs without points are good enough.

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      1. 60

         Siddiq Sarkarposted 5 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you AliciaC, I am foreigner writer (Urdu writer) translate into English Language for my personal experience & can you give me website or instructions to improve English language quickly?

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2. 76

   Rupert Taylorposted 5 years ago

   The issue is poor use of the English language; there are many errors.
   
   To start with, your title is very confusing and grammatically clumsy.
   
   You use commas at the end of many sentences when you should use periods/full stops.
   
   You have written "The time children to require needed education & learning, but the child has turned to work on the road for the sake of compulsion," what you should have written is more like "Children are compelled to work when they should be getting an education." And, you should never use an ampersand & in text instead of spelling the word out.
   
   You have written "But the parents recalcitrant of the child become the base of their loss them to suffer as well as their children." This sentence makes no sense at all. Recalcitrant means "having an obstinately uncooperative attitude toward authority or discipline". I can't figure out why you've inserted it here.
   
   You will have to improve your command of English before you will be able to pass quality assurance here.

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   1. 60

      Siddiq Sarkarposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Rubert,I am foreigner writer (Urdu writer) translate into English Language for my personal experience & can you give me website or instructions to improve English language quickly?

      replyreport
3. 83

   Kenna McHughposted 5 years ago

   Your formatting is incorrect. Your article should be capsulated, not bullet points. I suggest learning from other articles on HubPages.

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      Siddiq Sarkarposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Kenna, How can i am improve my English language quickly? I am foreigner (Urdu) writer.

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      1. 83

         theraggededgeposted 5 years agoin reply to this

         Siddiq, this is something you have to do for yourself. Research is part of a writer's job, so put your research skills to good use.
         
         What I will suggest, is that you need to learn from a native English speaker/writer, not from anyone who uses English as a second language. This is because their errors will be passed on to you. While many people are excellent at spoken English, written English is far more precise and nuanced.

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            Siddiq Sarkarposted 5 years agoin reply to this

            Thanks a lot theraggededge,I am going to research & learn how improve my English quickly.

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