I'd like feedback on my article: Be Extra Careful Woman

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  1. Sushmanayak45479 profile image45
    Sushmanayak45479posted 7 weeks ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
    Here is my article: Be Extra Careful Woman (must be signed in to view)

  2. Sushmanayak45479 profile image45
    Sushmanayak45479posted 7 weeks ago

    I think many things we have problems as women need first freedom secure life life up and down part of life but as women have freedom to work and living her dream. But our society are limited area gives to women it right for us no we need no limited area we want whole universe for growing thank you

    1. Will Apse profile image92
      Will Apseposted 7 weeks agoin reply to this

      The article is obviously important and deserves to be published but there are a number of thing's that you could do to improve it.

      Break up the text into bite-sized paragraphs, so that it is easy to read. Quote reliable media to back up your assertions. It can be a good idea to mix in matters that you are personally familiar with, with statistics, scientific studies, surveys etc, etc.

      Change the title so that someone searching for the info contained can find your page. Something like:

      Indian Women Need to be Especially Wary of Sexual Violence

      How Can Women Stay Safe in India?

      How to Challenge the Culture of Rape in India

      Or whatever seems most appropriate.

      When you have the title that is most applicable to what you want to say, make sure the page is well structured to meet the reader's needs for information, insight or advice.

      Best of luck.

    2. OldRoses profile image96
      OldRosesposted 7 weeks agoin reply to this

      So far you have published 3 articles and all 3 have been rejected.  Instead of asking for help here, spend some time studying the information in the Learning Center (click the Help button on the upper right), then spend some time reading articles that have been published on HubPages.  Both of these things should help you understand what standards articles must meet to be published here.  Until you understand that and start writing articles that meet those standards, nothing you write will be published here.

  3. theraggededge profile image98
    theraggededgeposted 7 weeks ago

    Hi there,

    I'm very sorry but your English is not yet up to the standard that HubPages requires. Your writing is very garbled and difficult to understand.

    HubPages wants well-written, properly formatted, magazine-style articles. They should be divided into more than one text capsule and broken up into paragraphs. Articles need to be a minimum of 700 words, preferably more.

    Also, though you have written about an important topic, it's unlikely that it would be accepted here. We are all writing for a global audience, not for one country or society.

    1. Will Apse profile image92
      Will Apseposted 7 weeks agoin reply to this

      "We are all writing for a global audience, not for one country or society."

      I am sure that many people outside of India are interested in the situation of women in India.

      Many would want to learn from the Indian experience.  For others, it simply helps to build up a picture of global patterns.

      As for the English, I am sure some well-intentioned people would help out a little further down the road. It could be a helpful article.

      1. Sherry Hewins profile image96
        Sherry Hewinsposted 7 weeks agoin reply to this

        I had trouble trying to publish an article about serial killers. It was OK until I went into detail about the murders. Perhaps describing rapes could have a similar problem.

      2. DrMark1961 profile image97
        DrMark1961posted 7 weeks agoin reply to this

        You do realize that among that global population there are many women who can write competently. Some of them are even in India.

      3. theraggededge profile image98
        theraggededgeposted 7 weeks agoin reply to this

        I didn't say they weren't. However, when the writer references 'the government', she needs to make it clear which government she means. She also needs to make it clear where the event took place. And it would be a good idea to open the article for the global audience I mentioned.

        The incident has been reported in UK papers, and I agree, highlighting the plight and inequalities of women in India is always a good thing to do.

        Maybe you could help her fix her English, Will?

  4. Will Apse profile image92
    Will Apseposted 7 weeks ago

    It occurred to me that this woman might be a troll. It also occurred to me that it is better to take her at face value and be wrong, than sink into self righteous condemnation and risk rejecting someone who genuinely wants to learn to write in English.

    I don't understand why you can't simply ignore her if you feel unable or disinclined to help. At least you would avoid doing active harm.

    1. theraggededge profile image98
      theraggededgeposted 7 weeks agoin reply to this

      I think all respondents on this thread are trying to help. If you don't think we are helping enough, then perhaps you could take on the task of fixing the article yourself instead of condemning the rest of us?

 
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