I'd like feedback on my article: Freedom Rights Should Belong To All..

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   Beera Ahmed786posted 5 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? I am newbie I don't know the reason why my articles are not matching the standard of publishing.Please help
   Here is my article: Freedom Rights Should Belong To All.. (must be signed in to view)

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      Kyler J Falkposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I'm really enjoying your style of writing, but unfortunately your grammar is not up to Hupages' "Near-perfect English," standards. To start I would remove periods from your titles, and then go back to reread everything you've written to ensure it upholds the highest level of English as possible.
      
      For example: "What a World Should Look Alike"
      
      This should read as, "What a World Should Look Like"
      
      You are very poetic with your style, and you have quite a lot of potential. Keep at it!

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      Miebakagh57posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Beera, again welcome to HP. I don't know if the story or an article as the tone suggest.                  You seem to put double quatation mark around every sub-capsule. Remove all these marks. They sub-title.                After a sentense and a comma, you ALWAYS fail to hit the space bar before beginning.             Go to the HP learning center and learn the tools to write well. Thanks.

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      OldRosesposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      You have a lot of English errors.  Ask a native English speaker to go over your article and help you to correct them. 
      
      Remove all of the quotation marks from your subtitles.
      
      It's not clear what your point is.  Are you referring to legal freedom?  Cultural freedom?  Gender freedom?
      
      As poetic as your writing is, it is not suitable for this platform.  HubPages publishes magazine style articles that help solve a reader's problem such as how to, recipes, travel, etc. 
      
      Spend some time reviewing the articles in the Learning Center (Help button, upper right).  They will tell you how to properly write and format an article for Hubpages.

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   Beera Ahmed786posted 5 years ago

   Thank you so very much mate will surely consider your suggestion,could you please list down more errors in my article so that I can improve more.
   Thanks in advance.

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      Kyler J Falkposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Sure, I'll list some and leave the rest for you to fix!
      
      To start with I would remove the quotations around your titles.
      
      "Sitting alone on the edge of the cliff. In your darkest and deepest thoughts. You look around you see a beautiful sky with birds roaming all around with a blessing of freedom."
      
      I would put that more like this, "Sitting alone on the edge of a cliff in your darkest and deepest thoughts, you look around and see a beautiful sky filled with birds roaming wild and free."
      
      Alas, I would have to change a lot of the writing in this and you'd do better to analyze it and restructure it by comparing and contrasting it with other articles. I don't want to infringe on your writer's voice with my own. It would only serve to detract from your work.

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         Beera Ahmed786posted 5 years agoin reply to this

         Thankyou so much

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            Miebakagh57posted 5 years agoin reply to this

            beera, I agreed with. Kyler and OldRose. Do compiled.

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