Terrorist

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  1. profile image0
    A Texanposted 8 years ago

    TEACHER ARRESTED IN NEW YORK -
    A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

    'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.’

    As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'. When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, 'If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.' White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.

    It is believed that the Nobel Prize for Physics will follow.

    1. tobey100 profile image60
      tobey100posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      OH! MY! GOD!  That's the funniest thing I've heard this year.  lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

    2. sannyasinman profile image61
      sannyasinmanposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Brilliant smilesmilesmile

    3. Hmrjmr1 profile image80
      Hmrjmr1posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      All I can say is you had better watch out cause the Secret Society of Mensa is gonna put trackers on you...

    4. Cagsil profile image81
      Cagsilposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

  2. profile image0
    lyricsingrayposted 8 years ago

    hmm:  sigh.

    1. profile image0
      A Texanposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Was it a letdown?

      1. tobey100 profile image60
        tobey100posted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Hey, that's funny right there, I don't care who ya are, that's funny right there!

  3. theirishobserver. profile image59
    theirishobserver.posted 8 years ago

    A Texan this is indeed a serious matter of a magnitude greater than gravity itself, it pulls us below our own gravitational potential and the sheer weight of the news you bring us can only be weighted in mega tonnes by its inormity, it may well be that the pie theory was simply a distraction from what was really going on in the minds of those dam Al-Gebra.....thanks again, this is green fox 00012...this message will self destruct in three seconds....take care....safe home......remember the rule....no ruler.....

  4. maven101 profile image79
    maven101posted 8 years ago

    Got the same email weeks ago...

  5. Misha profile image69
    Mishaposted 8 years ago

    ROFLMAO

  6. Mamelody profile image57
    Mamelodyposted 8 years ago

    Seriously you gotta stop.. my stomach can't take any more laughing lol lol lol

  7. NewYorker profile image57
    NewYorkerposted 8 years ago

    Lol

  8. Michael Willis profile image77
    Michael Willisposted 8 years ago

    lol, this is hilarious. Thanks for sharing ATexan.

  9. livewithrichard profile image85
    livewithrichardposted 8 years ago

    The US better get that Al-Gebraic movement under control soon or the entire world will have access to those weapons of math instruction. Then, where will we be if everyone is an engineer and armed with the knowledge of the easiest ways to demolish buildings?

  10. chip22 profile image57
    chip22posted 8 years ago

    Good one, Texan!
    I knew I was hanging around Hubpages for some reason today! smile

  11. J.J. Beach profile image55
    J.J. Beachposted 8 years ago

    ROFL

  12. qwark profile image56
    qwarkposted 8 years ago

    Texan:
    That's why I'm here!...to be entertained! Take a bow! NO! not a curtsy!  Take a bow! That was FUNNY! :-)

  13. mikelong profile image70
    mikelongposted 8 years ago

    Those Muslims are out there again......

    I'm sure some crazy liberal from the ACLU is going to jump in.....of course....or is it going to be off to the hidden detention camp?

    1. profile image0
      A Texanposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for jumping in! roll

    2. profile image0
      chasingcarsposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah, here's a crazy liberal telling you all that talent of your magnitude belongs on Fucks News.  Hey, A Texan, get a haircut.

  14. Richieb799 profile image78
    Richieb799posted 8 years ago

    It's hard to 'calculate' what time they will strike

    1. tobey100 profile image60
      tobey100posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      This is getting out of control now.  The quips are starting to 'multiply'

  15. theirishobserver. profile image59
    theirishobserver.posted 8 years ago

    Al Gebra, sure are a real nasty bunch, thanks Tex smile

    1. profile image0
      A Texanposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      That about SUMS it up!

  16. NewYorker profile image57
    NewYorkerposted 8 years ago

    At first I thought this was an actual story...

    1. profile image0
      A Texanposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I have to follow (fan) anybody who would admit that.

      1. tobey100 profile image60
        tobey100posted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Same here.  Wonder if they want to by a pet rock?  lol

      2. NewYorker profile image57
        NewYorkerposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        It just sounded like an actual story, and I'm not very bright.

  17. prettydarkhorse profile image63
    prettydarkhorseposted 8 years ago

    hehehe, GOOD one, make my day sunny its dark in here

  18. manlypoetryman profile image76
    manlypoetrymanposted 8 years ago

    Ha...I just knew there was something up with "Al-Gebra"!

  19. mikelong profile image70
    mikelongposted 8 years ago

    Texan....I'd argue that he wasn't terrorising...he was going on a filibuster to fraction off a piece of territory so that they can follow Pythagorean Law in peace..

    William Walker was acquitted of his acts...after all..

  20. Mikel G Roberts profile image76
    Mikel G Robertsposted 8 years ago

    Q u i p p y

    http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/laughing/rolling.gif

                      Q u i p p y

                                              ...quippY

  21. GeneriqueMedia profile image59
    GeneriqueMediaposted 8 years ago

    Whew, glad they caught that one!

    Wonder if he'll also be charged on PUNitive damages?

  22. Flightkeeper profile image69
    Flightkeeperposted 8 years ago

    Nice find Texan!  I got a good hearty laugh out of it.

  23. profile image0
    Brenda Durhamposted 8 years ago

    LOL!
    Love that joke!

 
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