TEACHER ARRESTED IN NEW YORK -
A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.’
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'. When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, 'If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.' White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.
It is believed that the Nobel Prize for Physics will follow.
OH! MY! GOD! That's the funniest thing I've heard this year.
All I can say is you had better watch out cause the Secret Society of Mensa is gonna put trackers on you...
A Texan this is indeed a serious matter of a magnitude greater than gravity itself, it pulls us below our own gravitational potential and the sheer weight of the news you bring us can only be weighted in mega tonnes by its inormity, it may well be that the pie theory was simply a distraction from what was really going on in the minds of those dam Al-Gebra.....thanks again, this is green fox 00012...this message will self destruct in three seconds....take care....safe home......remember the rule....no ruler.....
Seriously you gotta stop.. my stomach can't take any more laughing
The US better get that Al-Gebraic movement under control soon or the entire world will have access to those weapons of math instruction. Then, where will we be if everyone is an engineer and armed with the knowledge of the easiest ways to demolish buildings?
Good one, Texan!
I knew I was hanging around Hubpages for some reason today!
That's why I'm here!...to be entertained! Take a bow! NO! not a curtsy! Take a bow! That was FUNNY! :-)
Those Muslims are out there again......
I'm sure some crazy liberal from the ACLU is going to jump in.....of course....or is it going to be off to the hidden detention camp?
I have to follow (fan) anybody who would admit that.
Ha...I just knew there was something up with "Al-Gebra"!
Texan....I'd argue that he wasn't terrorising...he was going on a filibuster to fraction off a piece of territory so that they can follow Pythagorean Law in peace..
William Walker was acquitted of his acts...after all..
Whew, glad they caught that one!
Wonder if he'll also be charged on PUNitive damages?
by Amanda Littlejohn 19 months ago
My inbox is full of highly suspect emails from "readers" clearly designed to get me to respond so they can spam me or simply full of insults. Can anyone tell me how I can stop these as it's both tiring and upsetting and I've had enough of it. Thanks in advance.
by Reality Bytes 8 years ago
A report Monday night on the nature of the administration's drone program has the potential to dramatically revamp the debate over President Barack Obama's foreign policy and the confirmation process for his incoming cabinet.The report, by Michael Isikoff of NBC News, reveals that the Obama...
|HubPages Device ID|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Google Analytics|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel|
|Google Hosted Libraries|
|Google AdSense Host API|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels|
|Author Google Analytics|
|Amazon Tracking Pixel|