Terrorist

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   A Texanposted 14 years ago

   TEACHER ARRESTED IN NEW YORK -
   A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
   
   'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.’
   
   As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'. When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, 'If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.' White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.
   
   It is believed that the Nobel Prize for Physics will follow.

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      tobey100posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      OH! MY! GOD!  That's the funniest thing I've heard this year. 

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      sannyasinmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Brilliant

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      Hmrjmr1posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      All I can say is you had better watch out cause the Secret Society of Mensa is gonna put trackers on you...

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      Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      

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   lyricsingrayposted 14 years ago

   :  sigh.

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      A Texanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Was it a letdown?

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         tobey100posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Hey, that's funny right there, I don't care who ya are, that's funny right there!

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   theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

   A Texan this is indeed a serious matter of a magnitude greater than gravity itself, it pulls us below our own gravitational potential and the sheer weight of the news you bring us can only be weighted in mega tonnes by its inormity, it may well be that the pie theory was simply a distraction from what was really going on in the minds of those dam Al-Gebra.....thanks again, this is green fox 00012...this message will self destruct in three seconds....take care....safe home......remember the rule....no ruler.....

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   maven101posted 14 years ago

   Got the same email weeks ago...

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   Mishaposted 14 years ago

   ROFLMAO

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   Mamelodyposted 14 years ago

   Seriously you gotta stop.. my stomach can't take any more laughing

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   NewYorkerposted 14 years ago

   Lol

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   Michael Willisposted 14 years ago

   lol, this is hilarious. Thanks for sharing ATexan.

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   livewithrichardposted 14 years ago

   The US better get that Al-Gebraic movement under control soon or the entire world will have access to those weapons of math instruction. Then, where will we be if everyone is an engineer and armed with the knowledge of the easiest ways to demolish buildings?

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    chip22posted 14 years ago

    Good one, Texan!
    I knew I was hanging around Hubpages for some reason today!

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    J.J. Beachposted 14 years ago

    ROFL

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    qwarkposted 14 years ago

    Texan:
    That's why I'm here!...to be entertained! Take a bow! NO! not a curtsy!  Take a bow! That was FUNNY! :-)

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    mikelongposted 14 years ago

    Those Muslims are out there again......
    
    I'm sure some crazy liberal from the ACLU is going to jump in.....of course....or is it going to be off to the hidden detention camp?

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       A Texanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks for jumping in!

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       chasingcarsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Yeah, here's a crazy liberal telling you all that talent of your magnitude belongs on Fucks News.  Hey, A Texan, get a haircut.

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    Richieb799posted 14 years ago

    It's hard to 'calculate' what time they will strike

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       tobey100posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       This is getting out of control now.  The quips are starting to 'multiply'

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    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    Al Gebra, sure are a real nasty bunch, thanks Tex

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       A Texanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       That about SUMS it up!

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    NewYorkerposted 14 years ago

    At first I thought this was an actual story...

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       A Texanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I have to follow (fan) anybody who would admit that.

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          tobey100posted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Same here.  Wonder if they want to by a pet rock? 

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          NewYorkerposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          It just sounded like an actual story, and I'm not very bright.

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    prettydarkhorseposted 14 years ago

    hehehe, GOOD one, make my day sunny its dark in here

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    manlypoetrymanposted 14 years ago

    Ha...I just knew there was something up with "Al-Gebra"!

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    mikelongposted 14 years ago

    Texan....I'd argue that he wasn't terrorising...he was going on a filibuster to fraction off a piece of territory so that they can follow Pythagorean Law in peace..
    
    William Walker was acquitted of his acts...after all..

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    Mikel G Robertsposted 14 years ago

    Q u i p p y
    
    
    
                      Q u i p p y
    
                                              ...quippY

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    GeneriqueMediaposted 14 years ago

    Whew, glad they caught that one!
    
    Wonder if he'll also be charged on PUNitive damages?

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    Nice find Texan!  I got a good hearty laugh out of it.

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    Brenda Durhamposted 14 years ago

    LOL!
    Love that joke!

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