Anyone remember these from Saturday Night Live (SNL)? I've always thought they were a type of laid-back funny.
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go,
because, man, they're gone.
To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them
down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going
to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old
burned-out warehouse. "Oh no," I said, "Disneyland burned down."
The odds of there being a bomb on a plane is around a million to one, if you want to travel safe, take your own bomb with you as the odds of there being two bombs are million, million to one.. be safe, wear a condom...
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other.
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you’ll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.
Have you ever noticed how anyone that drinks water and eats food eventualy dies??? Should we avoid these lethal acts??
If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.
Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.
by Thomas Byers 5 years ago
Have You Ever Had A Chicago Deep Dish PizzaSetting here on a cool spring rainy night in North Carolina wishing I was in downtown Chicago tonight so I could have a delicious deep dish pizza. Have you ever had one? Do you still crave them? I do. May have to go to Chicago soon.
by anime_nanet 9 years ago
Post here some deep thoughts that you've written sometime in your life...I'll start:Violência gera violência.Um ciclo invisível decorre correndo e passa por nós de repente lentamente e a diferença é que ficamos mais velhos, cansados, doentes e mirrados.Grandes são os que compreendem o ciclo...
by aniketgore 9 years ago
My ever label shows 4100 right now what about you?
by zeke2100 5 years ago
Have you ever been to Hollywood, CA, and did you see any celebrities while you were there?Most everyday people are enthralled by the lives of celebrities. Did you go to Hollywood for a celebrity sighting?
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