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Deep Thoughts

  1. Origin profile image59
    Originposted 7 years ago

    Anyone remember these from Saturday Night Live (SNL)? I've always thought they were a type of laid-back funny. big_smile

    If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go,
    because, man, they're gone.

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    To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around.  That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?"  You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

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    If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them
    down?  We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

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    One thing kids like is to be tricked.  For instance, I was going
    to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old
    burned-out warehouse. "Oh no," I said, "Disneyland burned down."

    big_smile big_smile

  2. LeanMan profile image89
    LeanManposted 7 years ago

    The odds of there being a bomb on a plane is around a million to one, if you want to travel safe, take your own bomb with you as the odds of there being two bombs are million, million to one.. be safe, wear a condom...

    1. Origin profile image59
      Originposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Pure logic, man. Pure logic. big_smile

    2. thisisoli profile image74
      thisisoliposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Haha loved this one!

  3. ThoughtfulSpot profile image70
    ThoughtfulSpotposted 7 years ago

    Loved those... Thanks for the smile.

  4. Origin profile image59
    Originposted 7 years ago

    Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh.  But then I think, what if I was an ant and she fell on me.  Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.

    To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other.

    1. ThoughtfulSpot profile image70
      ThoughtfulSpotposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      lol
      The boxing one is one of my all time favorites.

  5. Disturbia profile image59
    Disturbiaposted 7 years ago

    If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you’ll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.


    When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.

    1. Origin profile image59
      Originposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hahaha, that's a great one. big_smile

  6. LeanMan profile image89
    LeanManposted 7 years ago

    Have you ever noticed how anyone that drinks water and eats food eventualy dies??? Should we avoid these lethal acts??

  7. Origin profile image59
    Originposted 7 years ago

    If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.

    Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.

  8. Origin profile image59
    Originposted 7 years ago

    I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

  9. Origin profile image59
    Originposted 7 years ago

    Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.

 
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