this hub is vulgar and frightening

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  1. profile image0
    kellieshellposted 13 years ago
    1. echobeck profile image60
      echobeckposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      No, you should not delete it. If it is the truth it is an excellent warning to others. We should value our loved ones, those who are vulnerable and suffering, and who cannot or will not speak about it.

      I can't understand how anyone could find it vulgar. You have my condolences for your loss and the realizations that came too late.

  2. TMMason profile image60
    TMMasonposted 13 years ago

    It is her experience.

    She can write about it all she wants.

  3. Wendy Krick profile image64
    Wendy Krickposted 13 years ago

    Why would you delete it? It is from the heart and you may help someone else.

  4. kmackey32 profile image62
    kmackey32posted 13 years ago

    I vote not to delete it..

  5. IzzyM profile image88
    IzzyMposted 13 years ago

    I don't know how to word this without hurting you or making you feel worse, but I honestly feel its a story best left untold, or else re-written to change your culpability in the death of your mother.
    We are not God- we do not have the right to take life away, no matter how much someone is suffering.
    The medics could have helped your mum along with drugs which would have been a far more comfortable death, but to withhold food and water is downright cruel, and against the law too.
    What's done is done. It cannot be unchanged, and while I'm sure you did what you did with the best intentions, announcing it to the world is leaving you wide open to prosecution.

    1. profile image0
      kellieshellposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      although i would still like to hear more of your comments, right now I would like to thank the ones who have already left me a comment. thanks for taking the time to answer my question and read my hub. I can see that everyone has their own opinion. some people may not like the hub whereas others might. some may not find it useful whereas others might etc... I am not going to delete the hub because there is a chance it just might change the way someone treats someone else. thank you all again>

      1. profile image0
        DoorMattnomoreposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        Good luck to you. I read this quite a bit earlier but needed some time to digest the whole thing beofre replying. I agree with Mega, its not vulgar in the slightest. Heartwrenching and thought provoking, but not vulgar. I am so very sorry for your pain and loss. As with anything controversial, people will dissagree and you will get negative feedback. Keep in mind what you've already stated here, it will also hopefully help someone else who needs to make a difficult choice. I have never been faced with such a thing, so I have no business speculating what I would do, nor judging your unimaginably difficult decision.

        Legally, I have no idea if someone who dissagreed with you could perhaps cause you trouble. I dont know where you live or how this type of thing is legally viewed, but I think the original comment to suggest removing the hub was not meant to be nasty. Simply a fact that there are self righteous judgmental people who will feel the need to police others actions and its POSSABLE you may find some difficulty from publishing this.

        Its up to you to decide if the risk is worth the benifit. In any case, I commend you on your honesty and bravery.

  6. Cagsil profile image71
    Cagsilposted 13 years ago

    Hey Kellie,

    Please do take into account the old saying "you cannot please everyone all of the time, but only please some of them".

    Those who will find your hub useful is why you leave it in place.

    Those who do not find it useful will simply move on to the next topic or subject that suits them.

    Worrying about what people can do with what you give them to read is a waste of energy by you. Write honest and from the heart and you message will be conveyed.

    Above all else, be true to yourself, before you try to be true to others. wink

    1. profile image0
      kellieshellposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      wow thank you Cagsil!

      1. Cagsil profile image71
        Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        You're welcome Kellie. smile

    2. starme77 profile image79
      starme77posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Nice Answer smile she shouldn't delete it - writing is sometimes a way of purging the soul and she has every right to - she is greiving and needs help and support in healing - way to tell it Cagsil smile nice explanation

      1. Cagsil profile image71
        Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        Thank you Starme. I do what I can to bring understanding(wisdom) to things that seem like there is no answer. wink Honesty in self and with self is the only path for forward movement. wink Including, the grief process. smile

  7. starme77 profile image79
    starme77posted 13 years ago

    hey kellishell I left you a comment smile

    1. profile image0
      kellieshellposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      thank you soo much!

  8. mega1 profile image67
    mega1posted 13 years ago

    I don't know why you picked the words "vulgar and frightening" (maybe to get our attention?) it certainly wasn't vulgar, and only frightening in the sense that these things could happen to any of us.  As an exercise in self-awareness and true soul-searching it is very well done - but not vulgar at all.  also very well written - look forward to more from you.

    1. starme77 profile image79
      starme77posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      that was nice and I totally agree with you smile very well written

    2. profile image0
      kellieshellposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      thank you very much,  i posted this hub in this forum once before and someone said it is vulgar and frightening.

      1. profile image0
        Website Examinerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        You are misrepresenting what I said.

        Here is what I actually said: "I find this hub and some of your other hubs vulgar and frightening."

        As you can see, I was very careful to express it as a personal opinion, not as a postulate of fact. (I do not know whether your hub "is" vulgar and frightening or not; however, I do know that I "find" it so).

        Subsequently, I said: "Don't feel bad, I just won't read them, and I do respect your freedom of expression."

        Thus, I took great care to express that it was not my intention to dissuade you from publishing. You even thanked me for my comments, which came in response to your request for feedback in the Extreme Hub Makeover forum.

        1. profile image0
          kellieshellposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Yes this is what was said on the other question in this forum.  When I
          posted this question, I wanted to find out other opinions on my hub. You and everyone else is entitled to their own opinion and I appreciate them all, even the negitive reviews.

  9. Fiction Teller profile image60
    Fiction Tellerposted 13 years ago

    It's not always against the law to not give food and water to people who are in the process of dying.  It would depend on what jurisdiction you are in and the circumstances, I understand. 

    I'm no medical professional, and I'm not a lawyer, but as it was explained to me at one point by medical staff in the States, patients who are dying sometimes refuse food and drink, and at that point, the medical opinion is that forcing food and water on this person who is clinically considered to be actively (so to speak) dying constitutes cruelty.

    I'm not stating a moral opinion here - just what I've been taught.  And I'm not suggesting this is a decision to be made by people independent of legal or medical advice or the consent of the person who's dying.

    (Whew - qualifications over.)

    1. starme77 profile image79
      starme77posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      oh , thats totally right - I mean if they refuse then they refuse - but what hospice says is - to stop all food and water before this happens - they kind of pressure you into it really and its terrifying to go through

      1. profile image0
        kellieshellposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        yes it is, my mom was unable to move, speak, sit up or do anything for that matter everything was done for her. thank you all for your comments i truley take them to heart.

  10. Marisa Wright profile image87
    Marisa Wrightposted 13 years ago

    I was the one who posted the comment suggesting you delete the Hub. 

    I wasn't being nasty.  I'm concerned for your safety, because you have publicly confessed to starving your mother to death.  In some jurisdictions, that could be classed as murder.

    In the same circumstances, I would probably have done the same, but I'm not the police.  It would only take one of the right-to-lifers to report it, and you could be in trouble.

    If someone knowledgeable can drop in to advise there's no cause for concern, I'll stop worrying.

    1. profile image0
      DoorMattnomoreposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      You were not being nasty, thats what I said too.

    2. profile image0
      kellieshellposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I didnt think any of you were being nasty, i am thankful for your opinions. What happened with my mom was not murder although I have blamed myself and thought I did kill her. I simly let her go instead of letting her suffer. Im sorry to make you think that I thought your comment to be nasty. I never thought that at all. Its just your point of view and I respect that. I wanted to know what  more people thought on the subject and had to use something to get their attention.

  11. Fiction Teller profile image60
    Fiction Tellerposted 13 years ago

    This is definitely out of my realm of expertise, but I understand that a living will or power of attorney makes all the difference.  Do not revive and all that. … _directive

    1. profile image0
      kellieshellposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I agree,my mom was a dnr,  at times when I prayed for answers on what to do I thought it would be much easier to know what she would want. my dad had these talks with her before she got sick and he guided me and always made the final decision.


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